I have had bipolar or was diagnosed at 14 years old, i have tried many times to end my life. It has caused me to be hopitalized on more than one occasion. But not for the mental health issues but for the physical side affects. My bipolar is not controlled by meds and i do not see a phycitrist i go to my family doctor but they seem to think my personality makes me have bipolar? i did not think this was possible?. My family are very disspondent now and it is almost like her she gose again. But i am now 26 and i […]
Tag:
Feelings
I’m scared.
I have no idea what to do. I think all this stress is getting to me. I want to go back and make everything better. I think I’m getting an eating disorder. I KNOW I’m not fat, but when I look at my self, I feel disgusted. I never feel like I’m good enough. I messed up, and I can’t fix it, no matter how bad I want too. I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. I’m sick. Mentally and physicality. I can’t take it anymore.
I have these body pains that I know aren’t normal. I don’t like going to the […]
How do i give someone i love a huge wake up call without them getting hurt or angry at me?
I hate asking for advice but i need to tell someone what they are currently doing is not how to live a happy life and that although i love them very much i really need them to move into the next phase of their journey and leave behind all these current issues. Because i fear that if they don’t take responsibility and move on soon then i may have to leave/lose them.
And i don’t want to lose/leave them.
But how do i tell them this […]
The name of the post kind of says it all, I was so sure I wanted to die. Up to the point where I had everything planned and ready, down to the exit bag made and the helium under my bed. I felt happy and in some ways free at the thought I would die. And although I still wish I would die in my sleep or fall of a cliff or something I do not feel ready to take my own life.
It started about two days ago, I was sat watching TV when I saw a women with her three children. They were the […]
i’ve read a lot of these posts, since last summer. every single one i’ve read is like, poetic or something. well not mine.
i’ve been feelings suicidal since last year. i know it sounds pathetic, but it was because my boyfriend broke up with me. he was my first kiss, my first boyfriend and i feel like he was my first love. when he broke up with me, i just felt like NOBODY likes me or wants me, since he was my first boyfriend.
people have always picked on me, calling me fat, ugly, and other stuff. people always take me for granted and they always ignore […]
It’s true: hurt people hurt people. I’ve never walked around rejecting others while genuinely in a happy state. On the other hand, when I hurt, I hurt those around me; not always intentionally or maliciously. It’s more of a”too stuck in my head to deal with anyone else” kind of hurting. Sometimes, it manifests itself in the form of quickly rejecting the presence of those around me so I can not-soon-enough resume my isolation. The chiming in of anyone else is dismissed as nothing short of a threatening disturbance.
I normally stave off the constant “get me out of here” feeling through substances or the validating […]
Okay so when I first started this, I had not one thing to say on it. Now I have a slight idea…
When I first joined The Suicide Project I was lonely, depressed. I had suicidal thoughts running through my mind, tormenting me. I have attempted suicide 5 times so far. My memories haunt my every waking moment and I cut my wrists and upper arms so deep that the scars will never heal. I would cry because I hated myself so much, I hated my looks, I thought I was the ugliest person alive, my weight to me 7 and a half pounds or 107ibs, I thought this […]
Each day the pain gets worse and worse and you act like I’m not Ben there… You act like my feelings don’t matter… Is it insane for me to just want peace?? To let everything go?? I’m trying to help you with her… It’s like you don’t realize that I may still not be over you??? You can’t just fall out of love with someone… You said you loved me. You lied through your teeth and I was stupid enough to believe it. I can’t handle the pain anymore… It just hurts too bad. I really just want forever peace from all pain and all […]
My friends often try to tell me not to kill myself because I won’t go to heaven. I ask them where is the proof? They either say “you shall not murder” or they say you can’t repent after you kill yourself. I say there are tons of people who die with sins, known and unknown, that they did not get to repent for when they died (ie drunk driving crashes, being murdered, dying in sleep, etc), so do they automatically go to hell too? No answer. There are several people who committed suicide in the Bible.
Saul’s Armbearer (1 Samuel 31:5)
Ahithophel (2 Samuel 17:23)
Zimri […]
I just can’t deal anymore. Everyone says to “hold on” and “be strong”. But they do not walk in my shoes. They do not feel the pain I feel. They were not physically and emotionally abused in their childhood. They didn’t see their boyfriend of 6 years find a new girlfriend and the two of them crack jokes about me on Facebook, saying that I am lunch meat while the new girlfriend is steak….yet the ex-boyfriend calls and tells me the same week he not over me and wants to be friends and I am a great person. How can I be a great person if […]
I’m done. There’s nothing I want more than to die. This isn’t an impulsive decision; I’ve thought long and hard about it and it is really what I want. The problem is that I don’t know how. I’m too afraid to try because I’m afraid it would fail. I need a foolproof, quick, easy way. Something easily accessible. I live alone and don’t leave home, I’m dependent on my mother for almost everything. I can’t exactly ask her to go out and buy a suicide bag for me. I need something I can do by myself. I hate that physician-assisted euthanasia is illegal. I’m not asking how […]
Sorry for my bad English, I’m Dutch/French (I’m a 18 years old, school dropout). I hope this all makes somewhat sense…
I was seen as a child prodigy when I was child (learned myself read at a young age and I went directly to second year of primary school), but everything went bad in secundary school. I feel totally useless. I have nothing to live for. The expectations that society has, the expectations I have of myself. The reality that doesn’t fit the expectations. My apathy towards humans, towards my family. I have no friends, I never needed friends, neither have I desired to have friends. I […]
It’s been at the back of my mind for a while. But now I’ve come to realise that it’s more than just suicidal thoughts. I’ve gotten to a point where I just have this really strong feeling that there’s something not right about me being alive. It’s not a result of bullying or any sort of trauma, it’s just a feeling, a really strong one. Over the past few weeks I’ve been putting myself through relatively dangerous “tests” to see whether I belong here or not. So far, I’ve survived them (clearly) but they’re not enough proof for me that I belong anymore. I just […]
I have been obsessed with someone for the last 4 years. All he did was lead me on and no matter what I couldn’t walk away. He is all I think about. I just want to see him, talk to him and be with him. He’s been ignoring my texts and he treats me like shit. I have tried hundreds of times to move on, I have gone through months without talking to him and throughout that time I broke down and refused to talk to anybody, I just stayed in bed listening to music and cried non stop. He always talks to me again […]
My mom and dad split when i was 4 because he was addicted to crack. I didn’t see him again til i was 10. Now he has a wife and step kids.i’m not important to him anymore. He lives in a huge house and he’s a successful psychiatric. But he’s to selfish to even pay for my insurance. So i have a disease that went untreated for 2 years. I am now permanently deaf in my right ear. and he doesn’t event know. Because he doesn’t call.
The only thing that’s making me feel any better right now is the song a trophy fathers trophy […]
I feel this way, on again, off again. I’m sure other people feel it. I hope no one else does, but at the same time, I hope I’m not alone feeling it. It’s hard to describe it so I won’t right now but I’ll try to express my thoughts because of these feelings. Every time I feel like this, I throw myself into a distraction. Sometimes they’re classes like the piano or learning a new language. Volunteer work. Sometimes it’s following a sports team or being interested in a serial like a TV series. It’s shallow, very hollow, but I thought it helped. When the […]
It seems as if though everything is getting better but I don’t know….. I am still sad…. Yet, I am happy too now. My so called “friend” is going around and saying that I’m knocked up… I can’t take more rumors…. I feel like breaking down and crying… I don’t know what to do anymore… I wish that someone could help me…. It seems as if no one can, though.. I am nothing really. Just a girl with a lot of problems… Nothing special about me really…. Being put down your whole life changes how you look at yourself…. I wish that I could smile […]
i feel unloved and not wanted… my friends seem to only use me for there own needs but when it comes to my feelings it does not matter. im a nobody… why wont anyone listen to me? why wont anyone lend me a shoulder to cry on? everyone constantly makes fun of me and my looks… i know i dont look good but i still… if they only knew how fucked up i was then maybe just maybe they will care for me as much as my beloved did. at the same time i have a feeling that most of my so called friends would […]
So, I really am not sure what to start with except obviously I feel like something is very wrong or I wouldn’t be on here and I don’t want to here “you’ll be fine.” Thoughts of killing myself have been increasing over the last year or so after a bad breakup with long term girlfriend which involved an abortion that wasn’t mutually desired and ended in months of resentment and mistreatment of each other. I still love her.
I’ve broken up with girls, it hurts, but these feelings are lasting far too long. It confuses me because there should be no reason for me to […]
There’s this boy and we have liked each other for a while and now its on and off with him. I get really caught up with the fact that some flirt has to hang around him all the time and make me jealous. She acts like a dumb blonde whenever she’s near any guy. He doesn’t know that I do love him and cry about him because I think he’s beginning to like her. I doubt she likes him like I do, I know who she likes and for once he liked me more than her. I feel like she’s trying to get back at […]