I use to have these feelings in my late teens, now a few years later they all just came right back in one day. granted they popped in my insane head a few days before but just briefly. Now its all I think about. Its all I think about that my “GF” keeps lieing to me, and being sneaky. Everytime I confront her about it she TRIES to turn it around on me. I cant it anymore. Trust me, thers more problems going on with me that lil bit**. But she’s the icing on the cake. I just want to WHACK myself like the […]
Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.
From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.
All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.
From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]
i really love her.i don’t know what i should do.she has left me and it has been few days since days.i tried a lot to hate her.but i am not able to do that.oh jesus please i can wait for her my whole life but please tell her to come back to me….i love her.i love you and i really do.
i can’t even talk with her because i know what she is going to tell me.she is just going to tell me that she doesn’t have feelings for me and that is really going to hurt me badly.that is why i have just cut all […]
I was going to post a short story and pose the question whether or not my life has been worthwhile and ask myself if I would be better off never being born or committing suicide as a teenager. (I am a lot older now). It got rather long.
Of late my rants have gotten rather lengthy and I found this one to be getting the same. I am not sure that my condensed life story and my trials and tribulations would help anyone on this list except the elderly. Old people seem to be a great minority at this web site. I decided to sit on […]
Well this is basically an update of how i’ve been and where i’m at in life. I have turned 15 and my depression is eh more or less better, it isn’t as constant as before and now it’s more of a few days a week or so. My mother has found out i self-harmed and has told my doctor which created a huge shit storm that included me talking to a social worker and seeing a psychologist. Well i saw this psychologist and it was not what i thought it would be. She was very nice and fairly young and i went once a week for […]
Nothing is comfy to me, everything burns me. Thinking about past friends makes my heart break and thinking of all that could have been, makes me burn inside. I have the problem with no solution. The withdrawls are making the seconds which usually feel like minutes feel like hours. Waiting for nothing constantly. Still cant accept that I have to kill myself even though I know it. Maybe the doctor was right, the symptoms of feeling sick everyday are somatic, either way I feel it so real or not, its real. I feel fadingly disconnected from my own mind, I feel like I need to […]
This goes along with a discussion I was having on this form a few days ago. 
So, I’m not entirely sure what I hope to gain from this, maybe closure? I don’t know. Not even sure how this would give me closure, or what I need it for…
If I had to describe a depressed person, I doubt I would use me. Someone with a job, caring family, good friends, hobbies. Hell even my dog is great. Yet there is just all the small things. My job is lacking, and kinda crappy. My family… for lack of a better phrase, doesn’t understand me. My friends are funny, good to be around, but I wouldn’t say that any bonds are really there. It […]
i really love her.i don’t know what i should do.she has left me and it has been few days since days.i tried a lot to hate her.but i am not able to do that.oh jesus please i can wait for her my whole life but please tell her to come back to me….i love her.i love you and i really do.
i can’t even talk with her because i know what she is going to tell me.she is just going to tell me that she doesn’t have feelings for me and that is really going to hurt me badly.that is why i have just cut all […]
Let me just begin by saying that i have contemplated suicide many times in my life time, mostly during my adolescence, but just recently also. I have been observing this page for a few days, and have been reading all of your posts.
I happened to stumble upon this article while searching near death experiences, and was amazed and humbled by the words so much that i began to cry. (not from sadness, but from the pure warmth of peace) I hope this brings you peace, and if not peace, a better understanding on why you are here now, and why we all MUST suffer sometimes… […]
i feel so lonely right now. im 18, and my mom kicked me out in august. i now live with my stepgrander that actually took care of me most of my young life. i didnt even really live with my mom until i was 7. my mom was an alocolic. i was told i didnt even want to go see her. my mom,i cant get ahold of her for last few days because i want to see my sister. it hurts, she turned 7 the 8th i didnt see or hear from her. i feel that my mom is doing it on purpose so i […]
I have aspergers sydrome and i thought i would off myself before i reached 18 for many reasons invloling social life, future prospects and depression. I “practises” killing myself by starvation…i would not eat for a few days and that how i decided i would go. After around 24hours i lose the sense of hunger and my movements become sluggish, whether or not i can do it in the end i dont know like resisting tempation.
i didnt do it because i got into the second year of my college course, but i still have seveer depression. now i am saying to myself i will do […]
I don’t exactly know how I came across this website. Maybe it’s because I’m considering suicide. Maybe because I’m tired of living. I’m tired of everything that is happening around me. I’m tired of disappointing the people close to me. I’m tired of hurting people. I’m tired of getting hurt. I’m tired of crying. And most importantly, I’m tired of myself.
I may be young to be considering committing suicide but that’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past few days. I’m tired of hurting the people I love. I’d rather be hurt than them. I want all the pain to come to me, all […]
Ive been trying pretty hard so keep my head up. And I have been for about a week now. But today my mood just dropped. Im pretty sure that its because I havent been eating like I should for a few days. And Im so irritated now. Im weak and tired. And This headache is quite bothersome… Im sure Ill pick back up in a couple days..
I’ve been silently suffering for a while now. I have had thoughts about killing myself several times, but they mostly hit late at night, which is when i feel most alone. I’ve pushed everyone in my life out and i’ve secluded myself from a lot, but not on purpose, it just kind of happened. I’ve lost a lot of people, and i feel like if i just did it and wasn’t such a coward i’d be in a much better place. I’m afraid of doing it because i don’t know what happens next, but i’m sure whatever happens next after that, is a lot better […]
Some of you know me as CL on ******. I got everything I need now to exit this world. Well, unless I get stopped that is or chicken out. All I have to say is that if you dont hear back from me in the next few days to a week then I’m either in Hospital or gone for good. I wish you all a fond farewell. You think I might be crying or something when I’m typing this but I have no emotion in me what so ever. Just need to write some notes now. Peace xxx
These past few days have been hell for me. I went on vacation with my family and well, my prediction was correct. It was miserable except when we did stuff like skiing and tubing. All the time in between was hell on earth. My sister was a ***** to me always being nasty and criticizing me and whenever she did the whole family joined in. So now i realize that i dont have a safe haven anymore. I have no support from anyone really. Anything i do is wrong. I have no friends except for the few i talk to in school but none that […]
Right now it’s nearly four in the morning and this is my 7th night sleeping late this week because of my insomnia . I’ve been really frustrated and angry these past few days and I usually don’t feel this way I’ve realized that it’s because I’ve been thinking a lot lately, with the new year approaching I feel very upset because a year has passed and my depression has gotten worse , last year I took time off from activities because I felt like there was something wrong and that the activities were no longer enjoyable so I wanted to take a break to focus […]
90% of my thoughts are suicide.
I can never be happy, I’m convinced. I cry literally every day and I’m just really sick of it. I used to be normal, I really did. Then, I started high school.
In the beginning of my freshman year, I made some new friends. About three months into the year, for whatever reason, these “friends” decided that they didn’t like me very much anymore. I was severely bullied by them for the next two years, which caused me to start self-harming.
As soon as this started, I met a boy on the internet. He seemed nice enough, whatever. Over the next three […]
It’s been a rough couple of days… I’m sorry for all who are suffering I fight with this pressure in my head even as I’m trying to put it all behind me… I did manage to find some help… I’m glad i held on long enough… I will be more careful to not drain myself providing for another who is incapable of providing in return… It’s a rough lesson to learn when its family member or a loved one… I need time away from them and now that I’ve had some help I’ll be okay…
9:43pm
Sitting here remaining positive that I won’t allow that to happen […]