Back during my Freshman year of high school (I’m now a junior) I was really close friends with this gay guy in my drama class named Josh. He moved away that same year and we had our struggles keeping in touch, but he started collage last year and completely shut me out and stopped talking to me… It really hurt me because I had feelings for him for a while (yes I knew he was gay). We helped each other through things, he knew what it was like to be suicidal and struggle with self harm so we hit it off right away and became […]
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First Kiss
I haven’t been on here in months and I won’t deny that things have actually gotten much worse. I mean one minute I’m saying “I got this, I can make it” and the next I’m saying “okay I’ll just end it all on my 21st birthday.” My feelings go back and fourth. And now it’s just all coming back. My plan was to end it all on my 21st. To see if things ever get better. I realize that im still young, and all that, but some people just weren’t meant for life. Sometimes I feel bad because I wasn’t put through so much torture […]
Even so.. a soft kiss from him is like that of a child’s innocence.. why does it feel so forbidden?.. such a thing like a first kiss is like a mark that shows ones rebirth yet ones own self destruction. I am a whore, a greedy one at that. I have stolen such innocence, many in fact. In my eyes the virtue of men has no value, no meaning. No one gave pity or sorry to mine, my own stolen virtue. The only thing that seems to ever matter is that kiss, the first kiss. A kiss that was taken because of my sheer stupidity […]
I still remember it.
As if it was just the other day.. But it wasn’t.. It was a while ago. But I still remember. My first kiss.
We hung out a lot that summer.. Doing a whole lot of nothing.. But just being with her gave me a good feeling.. Sometimes we’d play video games, listen to music, watch movies.. Or just sit and talk.. I miss those days.. Before everything became so complicated..
She had a thing for bitting.. She bit my ear a lot.. Eventually moving onto biting my nose.. When ever shed go to bite my nose, I’d tilt my head up slightly to […]
I wanted to die differently, I want to drown, I want to OD, I want to shoot myself, anything but cancer! I’d jump, I’d hang, I’d chug, anything BUT cancer. I’d like to be hit, I’d like to drift off in my slumber eternally, I’d like to be stabbed, anything but CANCER. fuck cancer, fuck cancer, fuck cancer, fuck cancer, fuck it. I’m sitting in a stupid hostpital, in a stupid gown, with stupid food, stupid and overly chipper nurses, oh and don’t forget the cell enlarging body killing menace, CANCER. At first I thought they were joking, just lightening the mood somehow, “I’m sorry […]
You left me with the peices.
You left it all to me.
I had to fix my own heart.
While drowning in misery.
You left me broke and scarred.
I burned you left me charred.
You never really cared.
I guess what i thought was special,
was never really there.
(c) too young to feel this way, that’s what our families say. too blind to make it last, should listened, shoulda obeyed, maybe if we did, you woulda stayed.
Too young for a first kiss, too young to feel like this. that’s what all our friends say, shoulda listened shoulda obeyed, maybe if we did, there would […]
You left me with the peices.
You left it all to me.
I had to fix my own heart.
While drowning in misery.
You left me broke and scarred.
I burned you left me charred.
You never really cared.
I guess what i thought was special,
was never really there.
(c) too young to feel this way, that’s what our families say. too blind to make it last, should listened, shoulda obeyed, maybe if we did, you woulda stayed.
Too young for a first kiss, too young to feel like this. that’s what all our friends say, shoulda listened shoulda obeyed, maybe if we did, there would […]
I used to think I would find love one day. Now I just think I’m unfit for it. I’ve never had a boyfriend, or a first kiss, or anything. I would even settle for a girlfriend at this point, if she cared about me. I’m not sure if I’m a lesbian. I’m so confused. Whenever I look at other women I think they are prettier and more appealing than men… but I still am attracted to the opposite sex. Does this make any sense? It doesn’t matter though, because I can’t even make friends. All my friends last for one semester of college, then I don’t see them again. I feel like […]
Hey. I’m 17 and find no happiness in life. I don’t know what else to do so I guess I’m just making a post on here. Uh… I guess it all started when I was a little Kid and my parents got divorced. I don’t know I just always thought of them as the perfect couple. I mean I always had huge suspicions that my mom was cheating on him when I was about six or seven.. turns out she was, but what was I supposed to do? My brother just called me a liar and he got mad whenever I tried talking to him […]
How can we know that we are loved? Kisses. I’ve never been kissed in my whole life. Yeah, I’m ashamed because of that. Come on, I’m a teenager and that means, to me, that I’ve never been loved, not even a child love. Well, when I was a seven or eight year old girl, a friend kissed me. Have you ever seen those kisses between children? Was something like that. He acted like a ************ with me the rest of my childhood, telling me that I was ugly and fat constantly. God, I hate the bastard. Anyway, that was my first kiss. I don’t know why that […]
I need stability and a clear mind.
In July, my best, Eleanor, lost* her father.
In August, she lost* her mother. Eleanor and her brother then moved into her grandmother’s house.
In September, her aunt flew down from Brooklyn. Eleanor, her brother, and her grandmother moved to NYC with the aunt. By and by, in my own personal life, my uncle died suddenly. I was very close to him and needed him very much.
In early October, my english teacher had two heart attacks in very quick succession, and she died.
Let me clear something up: I am not sad that these people died. It sounds cold, but let me explain. In the […]
Ive tried to tell myself that it was just a phase, for the fact that it is common for a teenager of the female gender to develop feelings, or in my case, fall in love, with their male best friend. And since I run every feeling and thought underneath a “Logic” magnifying glass, I’ve been able to coax myself into believing that when I fell in love with my best friend at the age of 15 it was because of the fact that we had known each other for so long before we were teens, that the reason that he was my first kiss is […]
I feel so lost, empty, broken…. Frozen… My story is a complicated one, and may seem silly, or tragic, or maybe I’m not seeing what really is here. I’m sick of the hate and small minds of this world, so don’t any of you creatures say anything evil, and open your minds to try and understand this…
I’m one of the most understanding people in this world, full of light, acceptance, true heart and everything thats good, and truly know whats REALLY right from wrong. Growing up, I had the perfect life, amazing friends who I loved, great family, even though sometimes I was a brat, […]
I, for the first time in some time was actually happy. The stresses of life had finally been lifted enough for me to cope a little longer. I had a girlfriend, the love of my life, Jasmine. She’s my cousin, but now she broke it off today and I feel numb. My body and limbs felt weak, (similar to male orgasm where my legs feel weird, and now I’m numb. She said its weird that we’re related. But she still loves me.Â
I fell for her and I was planning on asking her to marry me in 2 years or so when she’s 18 or so. […]
I’m 15. I’m a female. And here’s a story that really changed me.
It was a sunny day. Me and my friend were excited so we went riding with our bikes around the block. Lame, I know. But we were only 10. Anyway, some of our classmates lived on that block. We were talking and riding when one of our classmates, Daisy, sees us and yells, “Come! Karina is here!” Karina is another one of our classmates and a close friend.
We went in and we saw that she was there with 4 guys. Let’s name them Tom, Bobby, Chris and Daisy’s brother, Matt. We thought […]
i’ve read a lot of these posts, since last summer. every single one i’ve read is like, poetic or something. well not mine.
i’ve been feelings suicidal since last year. i know it sounds pathetic, but it was because my boyfriend broke up with me. he was my first kiss, my first boyfriend and i feel like he was my first love. when he broke up with me, i just felt like NOBODY likes me or wants me, since he was my first boyfriend.
people have always picked on me, calling me fat, ugly, and other stuff. people always take me for granted and they always ignore […]
I don’t know. I’m suppose to be happy, I’m finally getting a full makeover this week on Thursday and Friday for saturday’s prom. i always wanted to be pretty, pretty enough for guys in school to stop saying how ugly i am behind my back or to my face. Pretty enough for me to have a guy look at me and say wow your pretty. Or at least pretty enough for me to actually have my first boyfriend, or even my first kiss. I want to be able to walk down the hallways with confidence and not  with my head down. I know that I’m […]
Dear Josh,
I miss you. I cant believe we’ve gone this long without talking and you live around the corner from me and we both go to the same college. Why did things have to end up so badly? We were supposed to grow up and go to college together and live together remember? You were my best friend for three years when you lived across the street from me. You couldnt say Rain without Josh and you couldnt say Josh without Rain. Always came to my boxing matches..even watched me spar. Went to highschool together. You were even my first kiss… You told me […]
The thoughts are comming back again stronger than ever. I’ve been crying more and more lately. I didnt even go to school today because im thinking about doing it. I just dont see the point of living anymore. Things are getting worse for me. Im just tired of everyone being so mean to me for no reason. Last week this boy cussed me out on facebook for no reason! Then yesterday he said i look like a man, and that im ugly. I haven’t done nothing to him at all. I don’t understand. And i cant even go in the cafeteria without everyone talking about […]
My story needs to be told. No one should ever be abused, in any way. It is not only harmful to yourself, but to everyone else around you. This is my story. It is never okay to be abused.
Yes, this is mostly an abuse story. Â But for a lot of that relationship, Â I felt like killing myself. That is NOT your only choice.
When I was in 11th grade, and prior to that grade, I suffered from depression. The “no-one loves me, I just want to die†type. One of my friends happened to be really angry at this one guy so I anonymously texted him […]
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