Everyone always assumes my life is so perfect. No one really know how it is, not even my best friend. Everyone always tells me how smart I am and how they like how cheerful I am and how perfect my life must be and how great my family is, its true I have a good family, not perfect at all, but good. Why would anyone want to kill them self when they have such a good life. What these people don’t see is that its not like that, I’m not smart, I’m not happy and cheerful, I’m not pleased with myself at all. Its all […]
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I really feel like I don’t belong here. For awhile, I thought I was holding on for a purpose, but now I just feel like it is my time to go. I can’t hurt everyone who loves me. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that to them, they don’t deserve it. I was getting counseling, but I hated every second of it… I thought it would be hard to convince my therapist I was okay again, but it wasn’t… at all. The lies came so quickly, I know the perfect things to say. She believed me, every expression she gave was of utter joy. She […]
I really can’t take it anymore. I have scars everywhere. I can’t bend my arm or my wrist will split open. My girlfriend is gone, my therapist is on her side, my friends are on her side… I know that if the opportunity came for a quick death, I’d take it. I’m scared. If I found a gun or a lot of drugs or anything like that, I know that’d be it for me. My friends said everything is coming together, but it’s really falling apart. I can’t go back to the hospital, but if any of my counselors knows I’m suicidal again I’ll have […]
Why can’t I seem to find another person who is also stuck spinning on his or her wheels like me? That’s what I want to know.
If not that, then how come I feel like I’m the only person who has ever felt this way? I can’t talk to other people about how I feel because from my experience people don’t seem to get what I’m talking about. No one I’ve ever met gets mad and upset and blue the way I do.
I am posting this so I can find someone who feels the same way. Reply if you know how it feels to be lost.
Well, I am new to this site. I have been suicidal since I was 12 years old, or that’s the earliest I remember, since at that time I made notecards about me, in preparation. I was planning to write letters to everyone I cared about. Now I am 17 and I am still planning on writing those letters. The reason I haven’t committed suicide yet, is because I didn’t want my mom to hurt. Now, she just got diagnosed with cancer. I am scared and worried of what might happen. Incase anything happens I notified 2 of my friends about what has been going on […]
I hate people.
I hate being fed up.
I hate seeing people I used to be friends with being happy without me.
I hate Facebook.
I hate being tired.
I hate the movie theater.
I hate love.
I hate that guy who I have a crush on who is embarrassed to be my friend in public, but loves to videochat for hours whEn it is just the two of us.
I hate that I let people use me.
I hate my parents.
I hate my siblings.
I hate school.
I hate drugs.
I hate that my friends do drugs.
I hate being an ugly person.
The cutting is my friend.
But it’s not a healthy friend.
It’s a sick friend… just like me.
So much for quitting…
thats my story, except i never turned into anything beautiful. Just like the ugly Duckling, i was born ugly, people made fun of me about it since 5th grade until now (senior) and there’s just nothing good going for me. Im honestly one of those people who are ashamed of walking down the hallway because the way i look. im one of those people who walk with my head down on my way to classes. Im just soo tired of looking like this. i know i talk about it all the time, but i believe if i was confident about my looks for once in […]
(SORRY THIS IS GUNNA BE REALLY UNorganized, I just keep editing it, and adding info..Hi I’m a physically healthy (not so much mentally) 18 y/o girl, with many issues including: Severe anxiety (social), I have been depressed before, suicidal, I’ve been recently diagnosed with ADD. I think I might have avoidant personality disorder, mild ocd? mild sexual abuse and I think I had selective mutism as a child up until gr.11 when I dropped out of highschool, because I cracked . and alienated/avoided virtually all my friends(due to depression, humiliation and I didn’t want to have anything to do with my school.) I spend most […]
I was tricked into moving here. My ex wife said she wanted to move back to PR to be closer to her family. So we (she, my son and I) moved to PR and starte our life here. A year later I was replaced by the guy she had been cheating on me with. A month after she told me to leave, he was living in my house, sleeping in my bed, screwing my ex nd playing with my son. I have no family or friends here and the locals don’t seem too accepting of a gringo cabron. I […]
Most days I wake up with a fake smile plastered on my face. It’s like my own little lie to the whole world because I’m afraid they would know my thoughts. I guess it started when I was little because my dad got really sick he was the only one who understood me. He died in 2010. My mom is the type of person who literally runs from problems with out realizing how much that effects me. She’s never one to tell me that she loves me instead she tells me what others say about me. Around my friends I paste a smile on my […]
do I have friends? If I come out, they look at me differently. Weird looks. Is she crazy? They don’t know what to say, so brush it off, cause they don’t understand or really don’t care. Some of them show a glimmer of fear. God stopped listening, cause I am still in limbo, with no where to go. What have I done so wrong for the world to turn it’s back to me?
Not really sure how to start this post or how to talk about this, i guess the comfort is in that nobody knows me.  I’m at a dead end , im only the good person i think i am.  I have so much hate in me im almost misanthropic , but i love company , but at the same time i hate it.  My life has been ok , ive traveled places i have people in my life, my sister and mother and some friends.  But i have come to the stage where i just don’t want to deal with living anymore,  i have suffered from being empty for a long time , the doctors […]
This recent days, I’m starting to be able to really cope up and enjoy my days… with my friends who support me emotionally. I am so scared to go home and face the rest of the day alone because of the painful emotions and thoughts I’ll have to face alone… so I spend a lot of time with my friends. I am starting to forget. But now it’s already summer break. I’ll be alone again, if not alone be with my family who doesn’t even know what I’m going through. I’ll be alone with ths books and internet. Ths pain… I still feel it.. I […]
Trying..to be happy for the sake of my friends. I know I burden them and all of you with my constant sadness. I try..and sometimes when I type the faces, they arent real. Theyre cover ups. I’m crying right now…i started crying inadvertantly. Not sobbing or moaning..just crying. Tears stream down my cheeks and plop onto my keyboard..because of the pain i feel inside..so much pain that its starting to bleed through to the outside…it hurts. This isnt just any breakup..this is THE breakup..the breakup that will break me..is breaking me. And the fact that im sitting here crying silently with tears tumbling out of […]
I’m almost 17 and I’ve had social problems my whole life. I BELIEVE I might have a personality disorder, although I don’t really know. The problem with getting diagnosed, treated, etc is that I’ve grown accustomed to faking a lot of interaction with people. I’ve seen four or five psychologists and stuff now, with no real results. Most of them just sent me off saying I was fine after five or six visits. I know I’m not ‘fine’. I used to have anger management when I was really young, like 8 or something. Then later on (still age eight) my mother tried to kill herself. […]
If you die, just know you could be worst off especially if you don’t believe in anything.
by tigerlily93
written by tigerlily93
There is nothing wrong with being suicidal, but acting on it is.
It is okay to want to die!!
But just know, you prob, feel that way because ou felt unloved or hated by the world, but we have each other.
And, you know what screw the world.
If you think about it some people in the world who arenot suicidal are more messed up than us.
It’s ok
We just have to know our lives aren’t just for us, we love for Jesus and truth and love and all things good, but if you don’t believe that you can die!
And you may not […]
Depression is every where all around me ever since i moved away from my family seven years ago ive never been the same.
last year on the 28th of september something happened that changed me forever.. i flew down for my birthday that week to visit my dad and his new girlfriend. But you see me and his girlfriend got off to a terrible start due to the fact she’d never met me and was telling me i needed to go on medication when she didnt even know anything about me or my life.. Dad explained to me that she herself suffered from depression on was […]
But I don’t think there’s a good way for me to go on living. I feel horrible all of the time. I’ve seen enough doctors, therapists, and social workers to populate a small country. I don’t see any future for me. I don’t even have any dreams to hang on to. I don’t have any friends either. I’ve spent two weeks in the hospital. It made things worse.
It is sad when happy people die; if only we could trade places so that they could go on living.
I’m young. I hate it when older people complain that my generation feels entitled to more than we deserve. […]
I feel so completely alone. I don’t see the point in living.
Almost all of my family is fucked up, they love me but they’re mostly alcoholics and/or deluded. I know my dad will miss me, I hate to do this to him. My mom will too, and I care about her but not enough. Neither of them are enough. I’m sorry.
My boyfriend and I are “taking a break”. But I know what the end result will be. He’ll probably find someone else better than me. I don’t think he cares about me anymore. We used to be so in love… I love him so much. […]