I’ve never really understood the notion that you are allowed to have control over every aspect of your life, except for when it ends. It seems really unfair to force someone to exist when they clearly don’t want to. Personally I don’t think life is for everyone, and that going to such strong efforts to talk someone out of it is often only done because they don’t want to experience grief over the person, or that they would miss them. In my experience of family or friends trying to talk me out of it, their reasoning was never in my best interest, but in theirs. […]
Tag:
Friends
why does no one love me? i want to feel liked and different from everyone else. i feel like im living the same day over and over again and nothing is changing. im still the aggrisive upset person that people know me as and i want things to change, but its just so hard, so bloody hard. i want someone who can lift my mood. someone who really enjoys my company and is interested in getting to know me. but its me thats blocking that, because im the same grumpy person i was 2 minutes ago, 2 months ago and 2 years ago. i need […]
This is my first ‘story’ on here, and quite frankly I don’t really get how to navigate this whole thing.
But that’s not what I’m on here to talk about.
Nobody in my family that is close to me has died. I mean, my great aunt and my mom’s cousin’s dad died, but nothing effecting me too much. I’m not poor, my parent’s aren’t divorced, and I have a relatively happy and functional family.
If your still reading this, and you haven’t clicked out because it looks like im trying to brag about what i have, thanks. Because I’m not bragging.
I want to die. See now, that’s the […]
So many things have changed. My best friend/cousin is dead. My relationship is deteriorating. Every night it’s the same. I think of her and how I wish she was still alive and how I want to be dead. It should have been me instead of her. Everything right now is such a mess. School. Friends. My relationship. I don’t eat right. All I have been thinking about is death. It’s been a year now with these thoughts. Maybe more time. My daydreams are about suicide, how I’d do it and when..
So here it goes. I live in Canada, I wasn’t born here but I came here when I was 15. My first friend was this girl named Ana, we became friends cause we were on the same class and we were from the same country. Ana and me, wow. We had this amazing friendship, at the beginning it was awkward cause tbh I’m an awkward person, I don’t trust in too many people and I’m very selective when it comes to friends, etc. but her, she’s very outgoing and crazy and stuff, everybody loves being with her. I didn’t mind that, I mean, she’s my […]
I swear to god, I can’t deal with my sister and her stupid friend. All my sister does is criticize me and her friend constantly puts me down and insults me. Honestly, I’m about done with it. I can’t put on a fake smile and pretend everything’s okay anymore or I’ll go insane. I’m thinking of these four different things to do…
1. I could politely ask them to stop
2. I could tell them to stop more assertively
3. I could punch them both in the face
4. I could not say anything and start crying like a baby
God knows I am way to much of a coward […]
If you were to meet me you’d think I was happy and carefree. But that is nothing near the truth, I cut, I cry and repeat. I have thought about suicide but like I said I dont have it that bad, but i have it bad enough. I don’t think I’d ever go through with it but I wish I would and or could. I do have good friend and a great family. But I don’t get if i have all this why do i want to die. It woud be so easy, I have planned it out and everything. But i wont do it […]
<this is a rant- you’ve been warned>
you’re such a fucking joke, you know that?
i’ve known you for over 10 years and i’m just starting to realize what a horrible person you are. you hate being judged, but you’re the first to judge someone else. you are a complete fucking hypocrite, and make my life hell. you tell me to stop bringing up the past because you’ve changed but you just keep proving my points. i know you hate him, but that gives you no right demand him to do something after ignoring his existence FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR, and then spend weeks bitching about what […]
I want you to think of something, but not just anything. About you. About you life. Ever wondered how many people around you actually care and how many are just people waiting for gossip. Or if the people you loved so very much would care if you just one day disappeared. See I recently discovered just how many people “care”. We try to hide the things we love the most, and that’s exactly what I did. For many years I had a best friend. Someone who knew everything about me and the one person I thought really cared. I chose not to see who she […]
I really miss that happy and funny smile
that laugh that come from the bottom of your heart.. now it’s different.. it’s a.. I don’t know what it is.. but nobody notice that..
sometimes I’m tired of getting drunk to feel that extremely happiness that I used to feel every second of my life.. it was always there.. that happiness was my best friend.. now I only have a few friends.. thousands of “Friends” and other thousands of haters (I think that fighting with them halp me to remember that happiness..)
I miss my smile..
Im will still waiting for that ***** because I’m tired […]
I guess i am not the ordinary 17 year old kid, I walk around with a tophat with goggles, long leather coats with spikes on them and jeans with chains. But this not even why people threaten me everyday, or throw rocks at me because they did that before I started looking weird. I guess it’s just me, for some reason I probably deserve it, because no matter what i do, no matter where i go i always get punished. When it’s not people punishing me it is faith, broken bikes with 15km to  go and no one to reach, trains suddenly all stop, beehives […]
hi, i am 20 years old and i’m currently studying overseas from my country. the first time i wanted to kill myself was when i was in the 4th grade (8 years old). and since then, every time i got a problem, i always thinking of suicide. i used to cut my wrist and taking sleeping pills when i was in junior high school. i have lots of problems with my family, school, and sometimes boyfriend. i just moved here 3 months ago and every night before i go to bed i always pray and ask to God what am i doing here, in this […]
I am a 20 year old female attending university within my home town. I honestly feel lost within my own life. I am a waste of space. I do not know how to cook, terrible at cleaning, and struggle to manage a workload in school that others would find easy. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. I was never social as a child; I can’t go up to someone and start a conversation. I had a happy childhood, up to a point. Our home has come under disrepair within the past decade or so. I love my parents, at least I […]
I think I’m meant just to survive for so much time, and I’m running of time already. People dislike me out of nowhere, I don’t do anything bad at anyone at all, but they just look down on me. I already tried to die from rat poison… no effects! So I gave up before trying again. Now I’m thinking of Helium Exit Bag, I’m just not sure if it will work, I don’t want to deal with another failure.
I don’t have any friends at all, I don’t have no one to talk to. People think I’m just okay, they don’t know how I feel deep […]
I can’t stand anything anymore. I’m so bitter about everything. i hate my job, my friends are awful, I am stuck in a town that I have lived in my whole life, i didn’t bother applying for any colleges because my grades always sucked and now I’m stuck going to a stupid community college and I don’t want to go to college right now. I am not mentally stable enough to pass any courses and I have to pay out of pocket because I don’t qualify for any financial aid. But I have to go or else I have to pay my parents rent because […]
Well, all of my friends are assholes. I can’t remember a time when we weren’t friends. But now they’ve realized that I’m a fuck-up and they stay away. I guess its my fault. They won’t even say it to my face. They just kind of “forget” me so they can all go hang out without me. As if I don’t have enough to deal with.
So i am in love. Â I must admit i never thought it will hit me so suddenly but i guess that it’s true when they say: ‘when you least expect it’
The sweetest person i have ever met. I am going to sound as a hopeless romantic but his kisses make me dizzy which is entirely true i can barely walk after he touches me. Â So when everything should fit in its place my awkward paranoia jumps out of nowhere. I have never been really close to somebody like this and i am constatly thinking about bad things. I have this idea that something bad […]
I started thinking about the fact that I’m different. By that, I mean that I don’t have any friends at all, and I’m always alone. I’m antisocial because I never had any social skills, not even when I a kid, my mom literally needed to push me out of the house so I could go out and make friends. Making friends was always the hardest thing to do because I was affraid of people and I was affraid they wouldn’t like me. I don’t like people at all – I always have that one tought that everyone is stupid and boring. I also have a […]
Hello everyone, I have been on this site for a while,never really spoke about myself,not sure if someone is going to read this,but here goes anyway.I grew up in Brooklyn NY,im male Hispanic 36 years old.I never felt like I was a part of this world, I always felt different,always had different feelings towards people,feelings of compassion of helping others out.I never really understood why people were so evil.Why everyone just mostly cared about themselves.As a boy this is how I saw the world (and still do as an adult).Growing up I had 2 parents.For the most part my mother was always sweet and loving,never […]
Every day I wake up and go through the same shit, nothing necessarily bad, nut nothing good, ever.
Every time I think something good is gonna happen and make stuff better, it doesn’t, and I just end up feeling worse.
I have a lot of friends, and I’m pretty popular, but every fucking day shit gets worse.
I used to be laidback and funny and outgoing and just a nice fucking person but everyday my patience runs shorter and I’m starting to become so paranoid and I get losses off so fucking easily anymore.
This has been ongoing for the past 6 months and it really hasn’t snapped into […]