Worthless
Hopeless
Numb
Hollow
Empty
Disgusting
Freak
Disappointment
Mistake
Filthy
Dirty
Ugly
Stupid
Fuck up
Will not amount to anything..
The list goes on and on
Tag:
Fuck
Yup. Totally fucked up since the fucking day I was born. So this past 2 years have been so so messed up, wait that’s not the right word. HAVE BEEN SO FUCKED UP!! Last monday was my 3rd time I tried to commit suicide, didn’t work as you can see, so I’ve been at this shitty hospital all this week and a couple hours before doctors told me I have cancer (leukemia). Not the best news I wanted but ammm I can’t do anything about it, because I did this all bymyself so right now I;m lost, and please don’t. Don’t tell me everything is […]
The more I think about it the more I say Fuck this world! Sure there is much beauty on this planet but then it is vivaciously obscured by the undignified injustices that occur daily as they have been for centuries. The greed, governmental corruption, theft, intentional misleading by our elected officials just so that they can fulfill their own agendas and Fuck the next guy; have greatly distorted my perceptions of the beautiful life that is painted for us as children!!! I guess that’s called “reality.” The beauty of this planet is one thing (another existence that we as humans are slowly destroying as well) […]
Ok. So umm, I have this 2 years with depression and I just realize the fact that I saved my friend’s life and they didn’t care when I tried to kill myself. So I think this is all fucked up. All this system I mean wtf people! Why are they so hypocrites? Oh my god. I’m not saying that’s why I tried to kill myself because I do have my reasons, but they knew and they didn’t care, and I just realize that. and it makes me sad, because they knew how lonely I felt and I feel, and they know about everything and […]
The more I think about it the more I say Fuck this world! Sure there is much beauty on this planet but then it is vivaciously obscured by the undignified injustices that occur daily as they have been for centuries. The greed, governmental corruption, theft, intentional misleading by our elected officials just so that they can fulfill their own agendas and Fuck the next guy; have greatly distorted my perceptions of the beautiful life that is painted for us as children!!! I guess that’s called “reality.” The beauty of this planet is one thing (another existence that we as humans are slowly destroying as well) […]
My dad decided to yell and yell an yell and try to hit us all threaten to kill us then kicked us out now we’re back at the house I’m so tired of this if it weren’t for my boyfriend I don’t know what I’d do he is the only thing keeping me here he tries to help me but doesn’t know how I love him I love him so fucking much actual love not that stupid shit I thought was love. I want to get out of here but I can’t until I graduate. I’m moving in with him as soon as he gets […]
I don’t know when my father will ever look me in the eyes or even look at me. He’s always breaking, throwing, and verbally abusing me at the point where I decided to tie a noose and wrap it around my neck in my basement. I was scared of how it might feel and if it would’ve hurt, but you can already guess what I did… as I’m hanging and swinging around I couldn’t help and notice the pressure building up on my face. I felt as if my face was burning and ripping apart and my ears felt as if they were being pulled […]
Another beautiful evening in my family. As usual, my dad threatens to kill himself, and my mother says he can do it, because she can’t take it anymore. After that, he turns violent and starts smashing things… It’s a mystery to me how he managed to smash so many things in so little time… Tonight is different though… He’s serious about commiting suicide… And quite frankly, I don’t give a flying fuck anymore… Go and hang yourself, you pathetic drunk asshole… Old violent and manipulative ************… He wanted my mom to have an abortion when she was pregnant with me, then, he rejected me as […]
I can’t deal with being fucking bullied anymore. I’m still being called an idiot, a *****, a sociopath, and an attention seeker in person and online. I’ve gotten more threats, such as being pushed down stairs AGAIN and getting the shit kicked out of me. Meanwhile I don’t talk or interact with these people whatsoever. Seriously I cannot get away from this bullshit no matter what I do. The worst part is I can’t do shit about it because nobody fucking cares anymore. This is why I should just keep all of my emotions bottled up because whenever I share them I end up being […]
Imagination better than reality? Why Imagination is better than reality? Why is Imagination better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Imagination is better than reality?
Why is Imagination better than reality?
Why is fantasy better than reality? Why fantasy is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Interstellar, etc etc, they are much more interesting, full of POSSIBILITIES & varieties / variations, and better than reality / BORING reality […]
This time when I cut, I regressed to cutting my left shoulder, as I was wont to do years ago. I slit superficial lines between the iron cross, making the black ink of the tattoo glisten prettily. I wish I had taken that razor and slit my goddamn throat. But I am a gutless *****, too afraid of what could happen to me if I do it. So there are 14 lines, some longer than others, some deeper than others. All easily hidden by my shirt sleeve.
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU BLAME ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED??!! The fall wasn’t my fault. “You’ve got to hold on […]
Everyone else I’m with is checking Facebook and I’m checking suicide project to make sure that I’m not alone in feeling insane!
Fuck me. Sick of this shit.
*WARNING LONGEST STORY + RANT EVER ABOUT FIGHT WITH FAKE FRIENDS*
So once again I am taken advantage of and treated like shit for it. I try to be a good person and this is what I get. So I was friends with four girls, their initials are S,M,ME, and E, because i don’t want to use their real names. I was friends with them for almost a year and I noticed that even at lunch, M stopped talking to me. And a few days later, E told me M said “I need to talk to you about Tara, I am so done with her […]
am i the only person here under 18??
You ever get tired of listening to advice that leaves you stranded on your own, doing battle against the pain in the darkness? Advice like “you gotta do it for yourself and not anyone else”
“no pain, no gain”
Even phrases like “have faith” can be conflicting, lonely and long if you are truly left on your own. Depending who you are of course.
People have been shoving that shit down my throat my whole life. “Don’t do it for anyone but yourself”
“You gotta live for you”
I don’t need to explain to some of you out there, that sometimes doing it on […]
My life is a downtrodden groundhogs day.
I wake up every morning with a varying degree of hope and slowly pull myself out of bed. I turn on my computer, if it isn’t already on to charge my phone overnight, and my monitor then venture into the kitchen for a fresh cup of water. I like water. Fortunate I suppose, I know most people don’t. I could gladly skip juices and soft drinks for a steady supply of water. A fresh sip splashes my mind and cools my senses. Today isn’t so bad, I think to myself. If I’m hungry I’ll peer into the fridge and […]
The guy I thought I loved, well I didn’t love him. That guy I considered my best friend, he wasn’t ever truly my best friend. The relationship I thought I had the one that felt like magic, I didn’t have one it was all an illusion. I had hope, faith, I still fucken believed like some idiot. I still had feelings for him, now that part of me, that hope, those dreams and beliefs are all dead and gone. He cheated on me with her who knows for how long and they are dating. All I can do is laugh because he couldn’t let me […]
I’m just a fucked up girl living in a fucked up life in a fucked up world. Welcome to where being me is- *Never Enough*-
Just because her eyes don’t tear doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t cry. And just because she comes off strong doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong.
You don’t understand me and never will. So don’t start that shit ‘bout knowin’ how I feel.
My life is full of empty promises and broken dreams. I’m hoping things will look up, and right when they do, there’s always something to fuck it up, and we’re back at square one.
Do you know what its […]
Your smiling so hard, you can almost see the tears behind it. Fake a smile.. Everything will get better right? No, it fucking won’t. I’ve been dreaming of shit to get better for the past 2 years.. not a single thing has changed, it’s just all gotten worst. Fake people at school, knowing that to my family I’m just a disappointment to them.
I feel tired. And emotionless. If I can’t feel joy, fine, I’ll choose pain as a close second. Most times I have to smoke or drink in order to feel that pain. It’s almost cathartic.
I go about my days wondering why the fuck I’m still here. The way I think, the way I do things just never seem to match up with how the world works. My personality isn’t exactly the most pleasant which holds me back in almost everything, including job opportunities and relationships. It scares me. I’m not doing anything, not contributing anything… not enjoying any part of this fucked up sedentary lifestyle. Let’s […]