So I am a senior male in high school. I’m 17 going on 18 at the end of June. There’s this one kid Zack who is a freshman at my school and I fucking hate him. I haven’t really talked to him but knowing what he does makes me sick. He dates a girl and makes out with her and everything, he is all sweet and charming and everything (little does anybody know he’s really a ***** and extremely aggressive and violent with guys) but the catch about the girls he dates is that they all self-harm (usually cutting). Sounds like a sweet boy right? […]
Tag:
Fucking
Its frustrating. I have no one.
Here I am typing furiously at a “friend,” saying how badly I wanna kil myself.
And all I get is sarcasm.
All I get is,
“Thats a tad bit too dramatic.”
Really? Really? But you know I want to kill myself. But you’ve heard me. You’ve heard me already you know this.
You know I was sent to that stupid damn hospital. You know its serious.
You know I’m not OK and I’m sad and I’m trying to fucking fight and I’m just SO. FUCKING. SAD. AND. ANGRY. AND. …
I CAN’T.
TAKE.
IT.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh.
OH FUCKING.
SORRY.
PARDON ME GUYS,
IF THIS SEEMS A TAD BIT TOO DRAMATIC.
HA HA HA 😀 😉
You know sometimes I really frigging think to myself, (LIKE RIGHT NOW):
“FUCKING. SNAP. OUT. OF. IT.”
No yah. Its true. Just snap out if it. There IS no sadness.There is no stress. There is no problem. Get up and move on and live life “normally” because that exists for a damn reason.
But you know what? I can’t,”snap out of it”. I can’t wake up one day and be OK. I can’t pretend I am fine. I can’t because I am NOT.
But still,
once more,
“snap out of it. Everything is fine.”
Sure.
But maybe I’m not.
Well, I just landed down in old Mexico. I’ve gotten my hands on 3 bottles of “N” (no reason to leave it to chance) and I’m preparing my farewell.
Life, it’s been real, so glad to see you go. Tonight, I eat, drink, party, do what I do best according to some ppl wake up the next day lay beachside for the day then make my way back to the resort and “drink” myself to “sleep”.
This is it, I’m finally here. Thank the Universe for some small fucking favors.
And thank the net for this site, you guys FUCKING rock!!!!!!! I’ve been lurking on here for a […]
I’m so fucking sick of this shit…every fucking day is filled with bullshit…my once saintly patience and ‘don’t sweat the small stuff attitude are long gone…ground down to nothing with having to deal with shitheads…spineless pieces of shit…petty fucking assholes and fucking idiots all day long everyday for what seems like an eternity. I would blow my head off now if it wasn’t for my daughter…2.5 years old…the thought of her being raised by her fucking stubborn-ass mother and her fucking retarded white trash family makes my skin crawl…everything I do is criticized and every imperfection magnified 100x…I am at the end of my rope…I […]
“..lying awake in bed feeling the spot on my chest
where you used to
where you used to rest your head…”
– Being as an Ocean
The Hardest Part is Forgetting Those You Swore You Would Never Forget
This song kills me every time. It was ours. It was one of our many. This was our band. right up there with Trophy Scars. Why did i give you so much of […]
I’m part of a ****** chat room called Crisis-Chat, and most if not all of the users from there, are from here. I was one of the few… okay maybe the only one, to have joined SP AFTER I joined ******. Anyway.
Lots of people post here, lots of people threaten suicide. I seem to do it enough that I might as well post it here for attention, right? I don’t even fucking know what I want to do anymore. I’m tired but I’m not. I’m hungry, but when I eat, I feel sick. My head hurts but its magically fine if I go to take […]
I hate everyone and everyone hate me… I always upset my girlfriend because of the past, I never bring it up, I hear voices all the time, there shouting at me telling me I’m worthless and that I need to kill myself… I have stood at the top of a building I have held a blade to my wrist 3 times in the last fucking week… I have pushed down once but didn’t draw blood, My Family hate me, I get dirty looks, I get bullied… I can’t talk to anyone about this because I can’t share my opinions and when I do PEOPLE TELL […]
So, if you’ve been following me at all…I’m out of the hospital and living alone in my apartment. People are still in denial that anything ever happened. Tonight is the first night that i’m not under watchful eye. So guess what I decided to do? I decided to go out and about and enjoy the cool night air. I drove to my campus and parked as normal. As I was backing out of my parking space after I had enough night air and a people dart out behind me. I hit my brakes and another car comes flying past me, so I shove it in […]
I’ve decided to live so what do I do next? I got the closest to succeeding that I ever have. And maybe if he hadn’t knocked on the door I would have fixed my initial error and went. It scared me though and I feel ashamed of myself as I always do. I can’t leave my kids like that.
Since I have decided that suicide is not an option I feel even more trapped than I did. These cycles are killing me. It’s like being rolled downhill in a tractor tire.
If […]
I hate my life right now and the fact that my mother is always on my back isn’t helping me. ”get a job” ”pick your ass up and go outside” ”you lazy ass” ”what are you afraid of, people??” ”why’d you quit college in the first place for ?? ” ”it isn’t that hard” ”quit the drama”
Well you know what ?? FUCK. YOU. you selfish, ignorant, mean *****. she has been depressed, she should know better than to treat me like that. I am so anxious about turning 18 next month, and her comments aren’t making things easier for me. I KNOW i need a […]
I fought when you couldn’t,
I stood tall when you wouldn’t,
I worked my fucking ass off just to get nowhere and I shouldn’t.
You had me rapped around your fucking finger,
The days I’d see you id just fucking linger.
The walls around me yeah they start to quiver,
Now I’m stuck here thinking did I deliver?
Well I ‘m not being made a Fucking fool,
Quit trying hard and acting like a major tool.
What you think you can just walk in and make up all the rules?
Fuck your shit off cause you’re not that cool.
My mother was here a week or so ago for my kid’s bat mitzvah, as were my friends. She called today just to say, “hi,” something she never does. Hmm…must be that since she was a narcissistic **** all weekend which was noticed by all, she now has to do some damage control. Sorry, not going down THAT rabbit hole. Not this time. Fucking ****.
I hate living life and I just want to die. But I don`t know how to effectively kill myself without fucking it up. I cannot mentally survive. This game of life is not for me. It`s torture! I don`t understand why we are not allowed to legally kill ourselves with help when we don`t want to live anymore. Fuck!. What`s the point of keeping people who are clearly unfit to live, who cannot function, alive? Fucking cruel. This life. This earth. Is hell. It`s a prison. It really is. I don`t understand any of it. Don`t want to participate in it. Why can`t we get […]
It’s like I’m ready to leave, and go away, and the you come back and drag me once again. I’m getting tired, Fucking hurts but I fucking Love it.
One hour. You said it was going to be ONE. FUCKING. HOUR. I waited and waited and waited some more, tried to call your cell & never got an answer. “I’m still here,” I said, “in case you forgot to come and pick me up.” I waited more, God knows I lost count how long.
I said to myself, Fine, if you don’t come and pick me up when you say you will, you can come and pick me up at the fucking morgue! I was tempted, just a bit, to walk out into oncoming traffic, or climb over the balcony railing and jumping off. But […]
Why did I have to bring her down with me??She had everything.I made her life worse.Because of me she’s not at her house anymore:(I finally know what Ima do.I start on the third so Ima work for a month In a half.Give some money to my mom and give the rest to her.As for me.I feel sorry for the maid that walks In my room.Until then I have stay to make things right.
Fuck fuck FUCK! I didn’t nearly gather the courage. There was this really sweet and kind NCO, who had been there since the beginning, and I trusted well enough to tell. But fuck me, I didn’t have the courage to talk about it. She often seemed understanding, and I usually tell people I trust everything. The squadron is my family, and I am undoubtedly going to tell someone. I know they could easily help me. If I’m FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK alive by then, then I will. I’ve always secretly liked her, so that doesn’t help for FUCKING SHIT.
my frend billey do you think if i ran fast dead qwick dead strate i could out run my problems and have a famaly on the run no said billey this life is to tough you will never run fast enugh your to fat to tall to skiney to smallto dertey to cleen to nice to meen TO ANGREY TO SAD TO HELPFULL TO NICE NOT NEEDEY CANT YOU SEE IM FUCKING BLEEDING IM LOSEING ALL FATH AND CONTROLE WHY DO I BOTHER
why i dont know
Fuck it.
Fuck myself, fuck everything.
I’m in a perpetual emotional tilt. Dazed and confused. Head spinning.
Legs shaking. Feel like smashing stuff.
I would be a calm guy, I would. I am that guy. But have no choice anymore. I’m losing it.
There’s no choice. It all bullshit. Its in me and from the past. Its fatum.
Hey, I believed in peace and justice and all that. But seriously, if I had power, before abolishing this type of financial system, etc, I would FUCKING WHIP everybody first!
Just fucking burn, Just fucking burn.
All nonsense. I have nothing, nothing. Worthy men have died younger than me, so what the fuck? Why do I fucking […]
Newer Posts