as a child i remember life like damn Paradise.now im 18 and have dealing with strong depression since 15 because of bullyng.i got addicted to weed because it calm my anxiety.when you grow up you understand how though is life.i have been dreaming with suicide many times,how i was going to do it and what was going to be the place i go.when im sit in my sofá and put the tv on the fucking tv ads piss me off,everybody is so happy and so fake.the day is too long and also life.i always think of the dogs that liive 12 years.i wish i live […]
i can’t fucking believe you! i pour my heart out to you and all you take from it is some imaginary threat? are you paranoid or something? why is it all about you?wow i am stunned. i leave your office sobbing-again. aren’t you supposed to be keeping me from killing myself? instead of throwing fuel on the fire? how can you be so tone deaf? first it was ” am i on the list” ? like i even know you or something. then you are offended by my surprise that you called me at the hut. then you are offended again that i was surprised […]
I hate this house. I hate Ottawa, I hate the whole damn province. I hate what this place has always stood for. Since I moved to this fucking urban wasteland all I’ve felt was angry, depressed and suicidal.
I hate what this house stands for too. In this house all that’s happened was me getting yelled at, me yelling back, me crying, and me being ignored. I hate the kitchen, this is where all the fights happen, this is where all the knives that I can never use are. I hate the living room, I spent an hour there yesterday being explained exactly how I’m nothing […]
i wish i could just run off the edge. just fly like a butterfly. I want to die. I want to die. but for real this time, i’m serious…so I have a knife, a rope, and a tall building…I’m not kidding. I’m dying, tired of living. the one person i care for is leaving, and they’re leaving me greiving. i’m done. so I’ll tie the noose, I’ll slip my head in, I’ll step up on the ledge, I’ll take the knife, I’ll stab my heart for the thousandth time, and I’ll fall, if the noose breaks i’ll fall…whatever happens…I’m sure i’ll die. I’m going to […]
Garrett’s moving. I’m never going to see him again. It just makes me want to tell him how I feel… But I just can’t. I won’t be hurt again. I refuse. I deserve better. I fucking deserve better than what I’ve got. I deserve happiness. I deserve love. Â Or maybe I don’t. I mean, how much can be taken away before I have nothing? I feel like I’m completely gone already. I feel like my heart’s been cut out. Ripped out, more like. I just want Garrett… I really do. But he’s gone. Today was his last day. I should have told him. But I […]