Tag:

future

For a time there

by confused 12/28/2015

written by confused

For a time there, I was wondering what I should do.
For a time there, I’ve been thinking about my future.
For a time there, I’ve thought about moving forward
For a time there, I started looking towards a different tomorrow.

But, that wasn’t it.

I let myself believe that it could be better.
I let myself believe that I would change.

Maybe because I’m weak.
and I’m wracked with crippling fear.
But I finally figured it out.

Right now, I’m only holding on to one thing.

When it finally breaks,
I already figured out what to do.
What I want to do.

It’s not today
Or tomorrow.

But.

I finally figured out […]

12/28/2015 0 comment

The Nobody; Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

by Hance_Soelow 12/18/2015

written by Hance_Soelow

There is something liberating about accepting being a nobody.

I have been bullied, belittled, and abused as a child in both my school and in my family. For the longest of times, I have done my best to improve my reputation and status in society in response to these actions. However, I have failed time and time again. After numerous short lived careers, huge heart aches, and personal failures, I have come to the realization that, indeed maybe they were all correct before. Maybe indeed I am a nobody.

If it is truth, then all my past failures, misfortunes, and regrets can be rationally, logically, and justifiably explained […]

12/18/2015 7 comments

I can’t do this anymore

by justanothergirl09 11/26/2015

written by justanothergirl09

I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go far away. Can I just die? There’s nothing to live for. I have people all around me but they’re not a good enough reason to make me want to stay alive. It doesn’t matter if I die right now. It would just save me the trouble since I don’t have plans for my future. The person I love the most is gone and there’s no reason to live without her. I’m thankful for the people around me since others have had it worse, but this is not what I want.

I guess I could say […]

11/26/2015 1 comment

Once More (without feeling)

by thehusk 11/17/2015

written by thehusk

I’m sure I’ve written many variations of this here before, but what the hell.

I’m a failure, as a human being. By pretty much any standard you can think of. That’s not going to change. There’s no future version of me that doesn’t feel alone, anxious and exhausted all the time. That can be happy and relaxed around others.

I can’t change the past. I can’t control the way I feel. I can’t really change the world we live in. These things are not mine to decide.

And yet here I am, still alive. For the foreseeable future. So, what do I want to do with this undeserved […]

11/17/2015 2 comments

I am convinced suicide is the only way out.

by pichu 11/14/2015

written by pichu

Its 3 am here. I can’t sleep. I want to die. I want my wrist to be cut open, my head to burst. Everything feels so heavy.

I am 21. Everyone around me have an idea of how their future will be. I don’t. I don’t see much farther. I see my suicide. And then its all black. People Plan for their future, I plan for my suicide.

There are no solutions to my problems. Suicide is actually the best way out. All I need to do now is plan my suicide.
I want my suicide note to be perfect. No loose ends. I want everyone to […]

11/14/2015 6 comments

my dream

by sadsadist 11/12/2015

written by sadsadist

Death in glorious combat nothing in my mind can surpass the greatness of that so I’m one step closer everyday my future is a box or urn having a family and living paycheck to paycheck is overrated from what I’ve seen anyways

11/12/2015 14 comments

Why am I still here?

by bigsis211898 10/16/2015

written by bigsis211898

I don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe my friend Rachel is right. Maybe I’ve lost touch with what is real and what is not. All I know is that I am losing the battle. And I feel like I’m hurting my friends. They can’t deal with my shit. I can’t deal with my shit. I want to die. I want to disappear. But I don’t want to commit suicide. I don’t want to do that to my friends and family. I don’t want to put that pain on them. But I don’t want to continue in this pain. I don’t want to keep fighting. […]

10/16/2015 2 comments

Death

by Shattered Night 9/11/2015

written by Shattered Night

i feel very depressed today the only thing that im thinking about is death. i crave for the peace that you guys talk about yet at the same time i want to hve a future i dont know what to do anymore. peace or future which one.

9/11/2015 6 comments

boom

by neptune 9/3/2015

written by neptune

honestly i’m just so fucking tired of everything.

i’ve gone past the stage of feeling depressed, to the feeling empty and numb inside. everyday, i’m walking around like a zombie, my mind blank and not really listening to anything, yet on the outer side, i seem to be laughing and socialising. and it wows me just how much a smile can hide. haha.

what future do i have in life? everyday, it’s just the same thing over and over again, if you’re a student, going to school, coming back home, occasional trips out with your friends, if you’re a working adult, going to work, coming back home, […]

9/3/2015 3 comments

The Last Letter

by hogpotter 9/2/2015

written by hogpotter

To Angela

Angela, this may be the last letter I write to you. I guess my time here is up. I’m sorry for everything… I didn’t mean to lie to you. This life is no fairy tale. This life is not a garden of sweet roses… rather, it is an fearful enigma of pain and sorrow. I thought that I could save you… give you happiness once and for all… but I am merely just a fantasy. I am fake. And though I have reached the crevice where I couldn’t reach out to you and pull you close to my chest again, but I need you […]

9/2/2015 1 comment

by Delisnak 8/28/2015

written by Delisnak

Hey you, yes you, with the razor in your hand
and the tears in your eyes, I hope this has
reached you in time.

Dont drag the blade across your wrist,leg,hip or tummy.

Hey you, yes you, with the pills in your hands
and death on your mind. I hope this has
reached you in time.

Dont swallow those pills. I actually care.

Hey you, yes you, with the rope around your
neck and vodka on your breath. I hope this has
reached you in time.

Dont jump dont hop just stop. Remove the
rope step off the chair, I care.

Hey you, yes you, with the horrid past and […]

8/28/2015 5 comments

Which way?

by YuTasogare 8/24/2015

written by YuTasogare

It’s the second time I write here today. I really thought things would take a turn for the better but It wasn’t the case. It makes some pretty good time since I got this bad. I just wanna cry but I simply can’t, maybe it’s because I don’the have the option to fail this time. Like my life would crumble if I did that, there was also one other thing that bothers me. My family have seen the pages I’ve been accessing and then they found out about suicideproject.org. No need to say they are very worried about me but even so they […]

8/24/2015 5 comments

Im Here

by A Monster Named Chimera 8/21/2015

written by A Monster Named Chimera

Yeah guys, im still here
not happy, but im here
well…
im not saying that im all ok, im really tired
reaaaaaally tired, afraid of future, afraid of darkness

but i still here!
someone is here too?
im a little… lonely..
maybe i will post some drawings….
when someone dont have how make it emotions flow, its better make something about it
i aways draw when im depressed…
logic, all the drawings are… sad
but it comforts me

8/21/2015 11 comments

It’s A Complicated Poem

by well_kept_secret 8/21/2015

written by well_kept_secret

I fell the pain vibrating in my skull.

I just clench my jaw and force the smile to stay on my face.

The voices ask why I even continue.

Well the singing wills me to stay strong just a little longer.

It takes an army to build me up.

But it only takes a few to knock me down.

What’s encouraging me to stay?

My mom once told me the most selfish thing you can do is take your own life.

I once said I took eight Advils.

She said she would give me the Heimlich right there at that moment.

Maybe life’s hard right now. But it’s not forever.

Some day I’ll leave this life.

And […]

8/21/2015 0 comment

nothing to describe how im feeling.

by Delisnak 8/18/2015

written by Delisnak

so lost.tired.broken. nothing to describe how im feeling really. i want to sleep forever it seems like my whole future has gone out the window. so tired and restless but i have to figure ths shit out i might be over dramatic but oh well. ig i cant say that or id be a hypocrite haha..

8/18/2015 1 comment

How does one fix it?

by Mark_1981 8/11/2015

written by Mark_1981

How does one *fix* the affects of abuse? You can’t fix that what is. You just learn to cope. No matter how hard one tries, the memories are still remain; forever haunting, forever there.

I have been told to dwell not on that what was but rather focus on what can be. I have always maintained that focusing (and influencing) one’s future is largely based on one’s past, as it is one’s past that makes up one’s present. It is one’s present that gives one strength and abilities to influence one’s future. We are after all the sum of all of our experiences.

One’s past = […]

8/11/2015 1 comment

Is it the inevitable.

by martin1996 8/2/2015

written by martin1996

I’ve been getting better. But I just have this feeling that I won’t be here for much longer. I acknowledge the gifts I have but I could never imagine a future where I’d be able to share them with anyone.I can’t shake this feeling,its like I’m dying bit by bit. I can’t even imagine the pain that my family woulf be in if I killed myself,its as if it doesn’t matter to me anymore.I don’t think anyone will be surprised when it happens. I’m scared because I’m not even sad about it,this unsettling acceptance of death. I wish I could see what […]

8/2/2015 2 comments

Fruere Parvas

by marine105 7/8/2015

written by marine105

There are two basic aspects to life, that I can see; the general concepts, and the intricacies that make them up. “Fruerer parvas;” enjoy the small things. A Latin phrase that shouldn’t be casually dismissed. Enjoying the little things has a lot of truth, as in that the little things are often the things that bring us the most pleasure.

I think about my future, I think about my past. I think about the world, life and death. These things are interesting, but they do not make me smile. What makes me smile are the small appreciations I carry for certain things; seeing a humming bird […]

7/8/2015 2 comments

when is life too bleak to go on

by stormfall 7/6/2015

written by stormfall

I have had success but it is all gone. I had love but it is gone. Ive traveled done and seen a lot but none of that is in my future. If the future is merely a shell a hollow existence of mere survival as opposed to living is there any reason to go on?

7/6/2015 1 comment

Not a ‘Call for Help’

by Mundane 6/22/2015

written by Mundane

I was too stupid to trust a friend with my suicidal thoughts.
I told her how I want to die.
She told me about people dying wanting to live.
I told her: ‘Life is unfair, people can’t really have what they really want. I want to die but still living, they want to live but they are dying. I don’t see your point. Should I feel blessed for having something others want when I, myself, does not want it?’
Her answer? Ask another mutual friend.

They talked to me about solutions, alternatives, reasons and logic, of all things.

This is not a call for help. This is […]

6/22/2015 1 comment

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