My name is Daniel aka Xeeno. I do have an past with “Suicide” and it’s painful to live through. I tried many times to jump off an bright, I tried many times to cut my self, I tried many times to shoot myself, but for some odd reason something in my life through me off. Something wouldn’t let me jump, something wouldn’t let me cut myself, something wouldn’t let me shoot myself. But for some reason now I feel that I shouldn’t live life anymore, I should let life pass by me like the wind, I should let life go, I mean I have no […]
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Girlfriend
I’m not sure if I don’t want to kill myself because I finally have a better life, for right now, or if I’m just to numb to feel sorry for myself.
For my art class I had to paint something with emotion… It took me about two days to think of something to paint since I’m almost completely emotionless.
In every painting I have it has a heart somewhere incorporated in it. I’m not sure why but I always paint hearts. I guess it’s because I’m always looking for love. I don’t know, I just always feel empty, like I’m missing something. I’ve never had this feeling before, not […]
This seems like a lot of effort to say something rather uninteresting but it would be cruel to say nothing.
written by whycantijustuseanormalname
I have no reason, downfalls or problems for why I want too do this to myself all I know is that I want too. Senseless right? I agree, though I have been battling with it since I was about 12 so everyone has a breaking point right? No one has any idea of what I’m about to do either. Some in the past have seen how I am but probably thought as I got older I grew out of it as if it were a phase. Well if you’re reading this any of you… it doesn’t really matter any more does it. I’m texting my […]
I guess I’ll open up my story, for whoever wants to read i guess. For the past years, i have been in such a long term depression. (on & off.) I’ve never ever been truly happy, for no less than 2 weeks or to where I didn’t even know what sad was anymore. It’s actually the other way around, i feel like i can’t even tell what happiness is. Ever since i was born, my dad was a big alcoholic. Always came home with a brown bag of liquor after work, and always stayed in his room. Telling my siblings and I, that he was […]
Let’s cut to the chase… no one really cares. Yesterday I asked my friend, the only one who knows how badly I want to die, how he’d feel if I told him that I was going away and never returning… never contacting him again. I’m not about to whine to you because my girlfriend stabbed me in the back or because I never got the pony my poor ass family could never buy me… actually, in most ways, I have it pretty ‘together’ and most people who “know” me wouldn’t get that I’ve wanted my life to end every day for the past 11+ years. […]
People have told me, “Don’t do it, Emma” and “You can talk to me about anything”. But I can’t. I know I’m not alone in this but it always feels like I am. I’ve had people call the Suicide Hotlines on me and I’ve helped other people get through their own depressions but I can never seem to shake the pain, loneliness, jealousy, or depression. I have problems I know I need to fix but I just can’t.
Im 14. My name is Emma and I live in Colorado. When I was three, my mom and dad divorced after my mom knowingly broke my younger brother’s […]
I just turned 20, I’m a freshman in college studying what I love, I’ve met the girl that I’m pretty sure I’m going to marry, and I want to kill myself. With another year of age comes another year of new responsibilities, and I feel like real life has finally shown itself to me. The last few weeks have been nothing but emotional torture for my girlfriend and I, with issues beyond our control. I’ve let my studies slack (just my general ed’s, I’m fine with my Major studies) and now I’m looking at an F in a mandatory freshman class. Normally this wouldn’t be […]
I recently moved to a new city. I left behind my friends, my family, my job of seven years….But I did so to go back to school, start a new career, and be closer to my girlfriend was an added bonus. When I got here everything was great. We talked like we always do shared and supported each other. Now….she barely wants to talk to me even though I have done nothing to merit this. I cook I clean I do laundry vacuum do dishes, so if you’re reading this and thinking oh he’s a guy he probably doesn’t do much to help, ya right […]
I had my first suicidal thoughts last December… Triggering factor? Have no idea. At first it was just ideas like «i think it would be much better if i was going far far away». After, reflections on life, death, suffering… images of death… images of my death in dreams… and… after… images of my death when im awake, when i watch a movie, when i laugh to a good joke with friends… i see myself everywhere dying… for over a month now…. I see myself hanging by a rope in the corner of my office… or injecting myself a high dose of morphin, which i […]
So my wife left me about one month ago. She was constantly lying to me. We would agree on something and she would do the total opposite. I would ask her question and know she was lying.
She is 10 years younger than me….and I had more wealth when we got married. She now makes more money than me. She also sign pre-nup before we got married. I brought a house with the money i sold from my apartment and the house is under my name.
Well fast forward a year later…she tells me that she want the house under her name and she won’t help with […]
i cant take it anymore….
I dont know whats been going on lately….me and my mom have been fighting so much to the point i cut myself last night…last time i did that was in September when everything around me fell apart… and when i found out my boyfriend was calling anther girl babe i forgave him and im starting to trust him more and more…but today he asked me if that girl he was calling babe could go to our church to meet me… i dont know what kills me more the fact hes still talking to her after everything that happened or he would […]
I was thinkin in a way to start telling you the way I feel everyday.But now, right now, I don’t feel good. And I have to explain that because if I don’t say anything it will be worst.
Three years ago, I knew a girl. She is a writer, I love how she write. One year ago, I talk to her for first time. I told her that I liked her. She doesn’t knew me, and I don’t knew her, but it was the truth. Months passed, and we keep talking. I got along with her. Over time, we know each other. I fell in love […]
Okay, So I’m 15 years old and my depression all started near the end of summer. It all started a few days after my girlfriend decided to take a break. Just for a week. I lasted about 2 days, Then I gave her a choice. Get back together or never be together again….She told me her friend said that she shouldn’t have to choose if I really loved her. Well She couldn’t have been anymore wrong. I went on with my normal day after that, Got high, ate, then chilled with some friends. After the high wore off I started feeling lonely. I then turned […]
Check out my blog of journal entries threw my struggles with depression anxiety along with heroin addiction to try and stop the pain. I keep my journal raw and for all to see . No one in this forum is alone !!
Http://www.jlb462606.blogspot.com
Hey I am 22 (just turned) male from UK. Basically I am stuck in life. I never leave the house because I have nowhere to go, I have no friends and nobody to talk to every single day, including weekends. I am currently looking for work and have never had a job yet (been looking 2 & 1/2 years). I am done with education as its neve rgot me anywhere and I can not receive funding to do what I even want to do.
I am stuck in life, I have no future and no friends, no girlfriend, no place of my own, no transport, […]
Hey I am 22 (just turned) male from UK. Basically I am stuck in life. I never leave  the house because I have nowhere to go, I have no friends and nobody to talk to every single day, including weekends. I am currently looking for work and have never had a job yet (been looking 2 & 1/2 years). I am done with education as its neve rgot me anywhere and I can not receive funding to do what I even want to do.
I am stuck in life, I have no future and no friends, no girlfriend, no place of my own, no transport, no money. I have nothing, […]
You’re probably not interested in what I have to say but I’ve been reading these forums for about a week after stumbling across them. I just want somewhere to leave my thoughts so I figured this would do.
As the subject line says…. I failed. Pretty badly. I look back at what could have been and compare it to what I am now and think ‘oops, I kinda screwed that up’. I won’t bore you all with the details but if you are reading this then you are reading the writings of a once talented sportsman, who moved to America to pursue his dream, had a […]
I’m thinking of doing it tomorrow night. 1/21/12 is when I die. I wanted to do it on my birthday. That was three months ago. Should have then. Should’ve done it along time ago. I know some people work through worse pain then I have experienced. I feel hopeless. I used to feel sorry for myself. Realized that gets you nowhere. Thinking about just walking in front of a semi. If I jump just at the right moment I should die. I know that it’s selfish to do. Especially in that way. Can’t really find another way to do it. No car. Can’t find good […]
i can’t seem to put into words exactly how i feel. I’m 26 and alone. Grade A (or F) loser. No car, job, friends. I have no drivers license. I’ve never had one. Had a girlfriend once. Only person I opened up to, but still withheld a lot. Wasn’t very ambitious in life. Don’t blame her for leaving me. Spent most of my life in a haze it seems. Ready to die may do it this weekend. Tried killing myself seven months ago by charcoal burning. Room got to hot and I blacked out woke up outside of hotel room. Felt stupid and even worse […]
I am a 23 year old engineer. I became interested in this site a while back when I was feeling low. I am fascinated by all the stories. The things that make people depressed, stories of overcoming or triumph or despair.
This is my first entry. I guess I just need a vent. I don’t have any real reason to be depressed except perhaps only within the chemistry of my brain.
It has been a week and 3 days since I last tried to kill myself.
It was during the Christmas/New Year break that my mother discovered that I’d been dating an Asian for nearly a year. […]