Those eyes are the most beautiful hue of blue I have ever seen. Eyes associated with a complexion that forces even the moon to dull in shine. Surrounding this perfect entity is bliss. A crude seduction is overwhelming as I feel a confidence rise up within me. We are perfect for each other and everyone knows it. My knees go weak knowing he senses my pull towards him. As he walks over to present his hand, all the eyes in the room are fixed on us. I accept. Gorgeous does no justice to the angelic footsteps gliding me around the room. My cheeks turn red as […]
Hi usually I visit here when I am preparing myself to get of this roller coaster joke called life.
I have had a few good rants and read others rants and sad stories.
I have succeeded in alienating my self from all my friends and most of my family . As was planned so I could just slip away.
I have problems with who I am. As I am gay oriented (maybe bi ) male brought up in a gay hateful environment I have grown up to be very homophobic myself. How this relates to me Is I hate myself for being gay. While I […]
So far, society has made an attempt to “fix me” with non-applicable laws, jesus, Zoloft and a host of other inventions to keep the masses from free-thinking. I guess society was hoping that one of these things would “take hold”, but I’ve had too long to think for myself. I’ve had an epiphany. I’m not the one who’s FU(K!NG BROKEN! Now I’m a problem. I feel justified in my thoughts and actions. I cannot be easily controlled. I question everything. I insist on relying on my own research and take nothing at face value. This is […]
numbness of the mind
rots inside its self
begging you to be kind
only to yourself
i want what i cant have
numbness makes me aware of this
another threatening stab
killing whats left
god why?god why? god why?!?!
What the hell is wrong with me? Am I an unlikable person? *sigh* I try you know I try to be friendly but why is it that in whatever I do Im just ignored. Im currently in art school and I try. try hard and I am decent at what I do yet I get no attention in any thing its like Im invisible and it just makes me hate everyone at school.school I HATE that too I enjoy the learning yes BUT I HATE THE PEOPLE THERE …I just hate people in general ? I didnt use to be like this I wasnt so […]
im 17.. i feel like such a little kid around every one.. they all treat me that way.. little things mess with me really bad. i have borderline personality disorder.. i haven’t had a very good life and i understand that.. i understand that there are people out there who have had it worse than me.. i just don’t no why all this has happened too me. if there really is a god out there then why are all of these good people having bad things happen to them..i was raped by my brother and my little sisters brother from the time i was 5 […]
I don’t know about any of this any more. I try not to get into this feelings, into this temptation to end everything but lately it has just become to much. Never have I experienced it this bad, to the point where I actually wake up in the morning extremely disappointed and wishing that God would have finally answered my prayers and just taken me.
I try hard for others going through this and I tell them to keep strong, just to hold on but look at me! I can’t even listen to myself! I can’t even hold on, It’s like everything I once had just […]
Yes I fuckin know. I’m useless. I screw up everything. I fuckin try with all I have in me to help people online every day. Just because I refuse to hold something for someone who treats me lik sh*t I’m useless. I probly haven’t helped anyone on here… Anyone? is there anyone on here who would not be here anymore if it weren’t for me? Probly not.. I’ve been wondering that for a while. Have I actually helped anyone? God I’m a loser -.-
I’d like to discuss self-harm with you guys and gals. I don’t cut, I wanted to get that straight! But i do self-harm. I burn. It reminds me that I’m still alive on this dumbass planet. I love how the flame flickers on a match or candle. I realise we have much in common with a match (/candle). That our human form flickers while we work our very short lives and then goes out.I used to think that I would make MY flame shine he brightest and that my flame would survive longer than most. There is NO afterlife, no god to greet us, I […]
and its raining like a god damn *****. And I have to go to my shrink. On a bike. I hate her even more now.
I don’t know why I was given this life. Seriously I rather be dead than alive. I can’t stand the concept of a “god” because according to “him” he gave me this miserable life I never asked for. Now that I am alive, I have to live it because I’m too much of a wimp to try suicide… I’m too afraid of the pain. I hate my race as well, I can’t stand living in this culture with these uneducated idoits. It gets me angry just to see my race. I won’t say what race it is so I won’t anger people. I don’t like […]
i honestly don’t care whether or not i die. if a car drives towards me. sure, i’ll jump to safety. its natural. and wayyy to messy. i heard that girls end their cycle through pills n shit.. boys do it the messy way, shotguns or roadkill. i don’t care much though. its ok.
i just wished nobody cared. it would have been easier to be me. so. my gran found out im smoking. she started off like god was against me. i ended the conversation with saying: why would god care if i provoke cancer when children starve to death somewhere else.
my life might not seem […]
Theory:
As children, we have primal impulses, pleasures, thoughts, actions, etc. As we grow into our teen years, society does it’s best to strip us of these characteristics. This “stripping” us of what naturally pleases us by imposing infinite amounts of rules that have no benefit to us, cause us to instinctively resist. Society calls this resistance “teenage angst” or “hormones”. Sooner or later, we all seem to comply. We go about our mundane existence feeling empty and purposeless inside. Why would our society condone and administer such a hostile act?
The answer is simple:Â The ones who control our society are the same ones who profit […]
My fair maiden lies shackled and woe. Her dress torn and soiled, tells of blasphemy and misfortune. Her soul tormented by God and government. Does this course not beckon me to proceed encased in armor of Mendez? Should my thoughts not intertwine with war? If my cries fall on deaf ears, will I cry no more? It is the Harbinger they seek. His lowered brow swells to the rigid horns of reason. His direction echoes of thunder as stride distends. He is shielded by maxim and plague of knowledge. The sharp steel of angst-ridden compassion, urges to plunge deep […]
I’ve always wanted to die, ever since I was a child, I have no idea why. When I was a child and I believed in god, I prayed not to wake up the next day. And yet, I had a normal childhood. It seems that I have a tendency towards depression. Well, the years have passed and I imagined killing myself in so many ways that I can’t even remember them all. Now I’m all alone but I’m fine with loneliness, in fact, I think I want to be alone. I’m sick and tired of this crazy world and all the people, I want a […]
well, ive never been somewhere where people kid of feel the same and i think it’ll do me good to like wriite this openly
im 17 and ive grown up with mysisters dad till ten who menaly and physicaly abused me.. he left. i also lived with a abusive alcoholic mum who constantly hiit,put me down and basically fucked me up (god iwish i knew this website earlier)
4 months ago my mum went to prison and im glad, my nan rescued me and im now living in a stable enviroment
ive felt alone most my life and never shared any of it to be honest except with […]
underage high schooler living with  a clinically depress/paranoid mom.
everynight around 11pm-8am my mom would have these urges to freak out/cry/yell. the things I hear is that everyone treated her like crap. she would look in the mirror and yell at herself how she gotten so ugly as a person. the “freak outs” have been going on for a year. it’s getting financially and emotionalbad worst. let’s say, if tmrw I loose everything I own I won’t be surprise. I’ve been clinically depress since the 7th/8th grade. so far I’ve attempted suicide twice. ended up in the hospital and depression center both times. seriously I think […]
Last night i cried myself to sleep.I’ve been hurt so much.Being in middle school has not been the funnest of times because “my friends” bullied me so bad to the point i wanted to kill myself.I still remember that day and how i ran to a ditch and sat hoping somebody would kill me.But when that failed i did a pill overdose. That did nothing too. I prayed and prayed and prayed and asked god why he was doing this to me?! no reply. That same day i walked to my mom’s job as i do everyday.I walked onto her school campus,knowing in my heart […]
DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them […]
Where words are used to make others feel like shit and break people’s spirits. Where actions are used to break people’s bones. Where people use others to make themselves feel better and get better things.Â
Where people have a materialistic view on everything. When someone acts different, then they are looked down upon. Society is fucked up. Why do we keep on trying to thrive? We cause others to feel more pain than pleasure. So much so that they can’t ever recover.Â
Why do we think that having someone living is much better than freedom through death? The basis of a democracy is to let people do […]