Everything is better to me after some Crown Royal, Doobs and whatever else. I hope that anyone that visits this site can find an escape from the pain and get through this! Every second that goes by we are closer to death (like it or not)!!! 🙂
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goes
I don’t get why my body goes from shaking anxiety to staring off into the distance depression. Just the other day I was shaking and couldn’t put one thought with another. Now I’m sitting here staring thinking too much about everything.
I mean, like really, this is a joke.
I am 16. 16 damn it. I used to dream of how awesome my life would be at 16. This is just ridiculous .
I find no pleasure at anything. My friends are just people that I hanged out with at some point in my life and our friendship dragged out, people that I have come to absolutely despise. I despise pretty much anyone my age really. Everyone is so happy or relaxed or something, as if life is a fun little game.
I have some very firm beliefs : Suicide is stupid , but more importantly , it’s a […]
I guess you can say I know what I want now. Lately I have been trying to be the social guy that gets invited alot and talks to alot of people. I wanted to make myself think that that was the way I can change for “better.” But in reality thats not me. I am the guy that is really quiet in class and when I go home, I go straight to my only friend. My computer. Thats all I want now. All I want is to be the quiet guy that no one talks to, the one who goes home and find his only […]
Hello all! I feel a dire need to express feelings normally hidden by my outwardly cheerful facade; I’m your average 90s kid, born ’87, and I’ve had my share of depression, tried to kill myself twice, both times I’m happy to say were unsuccessful (poison both times). But over time I matured learned to find ways to enjoy life, and save my death for a worthy cause. I think my decision to savor life has made someone very unhappy, I’ve felt there’s been people out to get me for a long time, although that wasn’t the cause of my depression it certainly weighed on me. […]
ok so I am 14 years old and my whole life has been decided for me. What I mean is that my parents are controlling me and deciding my whole life and there is NO escape! It’s completely normal for all of this in the country I live in and 95% of the people from my country are the same but they just never complain and find it completely normal.. 🙁 some of my online friends told me “don’t worry you will be free once your 18” but no that’s not the case here. Here your parents will control you till you’re married (and they […]
i am fighting the hurt i feel inside. after 13 years of giving my time, love, and heart to this woman, within a few days, she betrayed me and left me all alone. i am 53 years old and lost my youth by giving it all to her. it’s been 5 years now but still the pain comes and goes but mainly comes and stays for a long while. i have tried courting other women but none of them are interested.my heart seems unable to heal. my daughter wouldn’t give me an ear, my family is not interested, no one really to talk to. i […]
They come at night, to pull me in… I try to scream, but for some reason I can’t.
The sun goes down, there is no sound, I fight but now there is no one around.
Help me please, I can’t do this alone.
But help won’t come, and if they do; by then it’ll be too late
Because, well… I guess I just couldn’t stand the wait.
Again. Another day. I hear my two youngest that share my home leave for work. My daughter’s little dog comes into my room after she’s gone to work and cries to at me to be picked up. I do, and she digs under my blankets and falls asleep.
Hour by hour goes by. I fight to stay asleep. Noon comes. Noon gives way to one o’clock. Then it’s two o’clock. I dread the searing pain of getting up. It’s the end of the third week of the month and pain meds are dwindling. Not enough. My bank account is dwindling. I should be up and looking for […]
I don’t think there can be many feelings as bad as living in an absolute hell. But I’m not sure what’s hell about it. Living with people I love but – think I got it.
Living a miserable life, so bad that all my effort and will power goes into making me look slightly gloomy at the best of times. My head pounds and my bones ache from the pressure.
I value the people around me more than anything – but sometimes I don’t think they even care about me – what’s behind the façade.
The only time I can have a decent conversation with one of my […]
No one will ever know the pain I feel inside..
There’s this girl in the mirror I wonder who she is at times I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did there is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbyes when she’s looking back at me I can tell she’s hurting inside she smiles with all that she has left yet tears are left un-dried and though she’s got so much to say she bottles it up inside if you look past her broken eyes to a shadow no one sees a disguise so you won’t recognize the girl is really me […]
I went to see my therapist a week ago. I told her I was starving myself, and that when I do eat something small, I purge. She looked at me and said I was fine. I don’t think I’m skinny enough anyways, but what bothered me was that she just glanced at me and in less than a minutes she decided I was fine. Is that normal for therapists to do? Or I am just exaggerating and I’m perfectly fine? My psychiatrist said the same. But everyday the first thing I do is weigh myself. I love seeing the number drop. I hate when it […]
keeps trying to take him from me. if he goes to work for his stupid uncle traveling he knows I can’t do that. now he’s gone for two days and I didn’t even know I just want out. how many energy drinks do I have to drink? alcohol will be included in this too
This past mont my anxiety and paranoia have gotten so fucking bad that at some points in my day I can barely breathe. I shake and my head goes crazy. I get so dizzy and my fiancé helps me he does but when he’s not here my anxiety gets worse.
It’s been awhile. Honestly I try to avoid this site whenever I start feeling better, because while this support group is really amazing and it’s the only place I can be honest and completely open up, it’s also depressing. But here I am again. I guess the thing about depression is that it gets better and it gets worse but it never really goes away.
Like most people here I have depression, but for about 4 years now I’ve been hiding it. I told my mom once and she said – ‘Do you even know what depression is?’ and then she dismissed it and never mentioned it again, now […]
nias
Why do I keep saying soon but never now.
My problems are never going away so why do I keep putting off my suicide, why do I keep saying I’ll just do this or that first. Do I really want to die? well, yes and no; yes, I’ve had enough of my depressing life and this world, but no, I still wish things could work out for me, how can that ever be though, I’m an ugly, paranoid, stupid waste of space. I’m stuck with depression and social anxiety, and the cause of said problems, a body that, due to toxin build-up, has created something horrible […]
With the new year fast approaching I thought it might be interesting to engage in a little fantasizing. A bit of a fantasy never hurts now and then and it can sometimes tell us where we are grounded and where we are not. So here goes. Just answer the question in a million words or less…
If you were approached by the devil and offered a price to sell your soul into eternal damnation, what would you want in return?
To offer some food for thought, I was contemplating something like this: Being returned to the year 1969, with a 20 year old body, one billion pounds […]
That is the question.
Do you guys ever dread going to bed, no matter how tired you might be, because you know once you get there you will be attacked by fear, sadness, loss, emptiness, and gut wrenching wailing, sobbing, the kind of crying where you don’t care if the neighbors can hear you, where the tears and snot soak your pillow, where you just can’t stop no matter how long it goes on, how hard it hurts, you’re locked in a fetal position, terrified, petrified, and lost..
… It goes on and on, with every new dawn bringing more sorrow than the dawn before it…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0DF41cOkII
For the past 10 years I’ve have picked the same day to kill myself and I don’t know if I can make to that day this year. I dropped out of school when I was 16 and never been able to get a job. I can’t ask for help no matter how much I want to. Last year I showed my older brother the notes of suicidal thoughts and posted on Facebook I was having thoughts of suicide hoping someone would help me but no one did and everyonwe just forgot , know I’m at a the point were I don’t want any. I can’t […]