I think what I need to do is just get away from my family for a while. We are truly messed up and dysfunctional. It’s like my adoptive parents go out of their way to get kids with disorders and mental problems. Maybe they really are kind hearted people and try to help kids like that…. but what do I know? All I can say for sure is that on our house alone we have a kleptomaniac with anxiety, an addict with depression and a shitload of other shit, a girl who has a sailors mouth(who I personally think is a sociopath…seriously), and two other normal […]
Tag:
Good Reason
Sooo.. Recently I have been having suicidal thoughts for several reasons. Most of them I’m sure no-one will ever understand, because we all view the world differently, what may mean the world to someone may mean absolutely nothing to another person, so with that in mind my suicide thoughts have done nothing for me but make me feel even worse about myself, but I am now realizing that life is hard on everyone, some just handle it better than others. now, my family means the world to me and 90percent of the time when I am soooo close to killing myself.. I think about how selfish […]
Pretty sure I’ll be doing it within a month. I’ve decided on a hanging, I’ve looked into the subject a lot and the best options are expensive, and the other options can leave you pretty messed up. Hanging can too of course but has a higher success rate and is cheap to do. I knew a guy who tried shooting himself in the hospital during a previous attempt so even guns aren’t a guarantee but nothing is really. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, I notice most posts on here don’t have comments, so either no one reads or no one cares. That’s […]
A question. What’s your favorite quote about the meaning of life, suicide or death..?
Here is mine.
“No reason to stay. Is a good reason to go”.
Imagine this if you will. You’re transgender. You grew up in a poor, abusive household where you lived in constant terror and stress. Your parent-captors told you if you didn’t tell CPS they would pay for you to go to school, but they meant the terrible community college in the neighborhood. You are disabled mentally and physically. You have chronic pain from fibromyalgia and a back injury, and migraines constantly. You’re completely broke because no one wants to hire a young transsexual much less one that’s disabled and doesn’t even have a degree yet because you were homeschooled by incompetent idiots and completely fail at […]
1. It’ss ok to die whenever you want to.
2. It’s ok to try to find other ways of living if you think you’re not at the end of your tether yet.
3. Nobody ha the right to tell anybody what to do.
4. It’s not shameful to talk about suicide.
5. As much as it’s ok to die whenever, just don’t die over trivial little matters please!
6. People who don’t want their significant others/family/friends to die, need to consider why they’re suicidal in the first place, and help them.
7. You’re allowed to vent and rant! Express yourself however you want, just don’t […]
If I have my flexril, ultram and Ativan counted out, does that mean I’m ready? I can’t stop thinking bout taking them. I can stop thinking bout makin the pain go away. Does that mean I’m ready?
I’ve stopped caring bout gettin up and showering, I’ve stopped wanting or needed other human contact, are these signs that its time? My phone is off more than its on, even if its on I no longer answer it. Can’t remember the last time I actually spoke to a person.
AM I READY?
I think I am, I can’t think of a good reason to stay.
I would come up with a better title if that one didn’t fit so well.
I cut myself.
but cutting, to me, isn’t serious. It gets a larger reaction than it deserves and I just do it for sympathy. I never feel anything when I cut. I only feel when I’m laying on my bed weeping my eyes out until my tear ducts are completely dried.
I blame it on hormones, being a teenager, ect. I can’t take myself seriously. I don’t have a good reason to cry. Why do I take everything for granted? Why can’t I appreciate what I have. Why don’t I feel […]
One good reason to live?.. i don’t see one, i just don’t desire life anymore much like anyone who knows the feeling of constant loneliness, it is never ending no matter how hard you try. I’ve been trying to “be happy” for the past few months only because this girl who i could’ve called my best friend was telling me there are reasons to be happy.. Note i am also inlove with her… Or was atleast, i have no idea where that stands but that was the last thing i cared about. Now that its gone? I really couldn’t tell you what i plan do to […]
Im trying hard to be the best person i can be but my thoughts are elsewere.Elsewere as in on suicide.I dont even have a good reason for wanting die.But i cant stop thinking about dying.i want my thoughts to quiet down.So i dont have to keep doing this.But right now i have this urge that just keeps saying do it.do it..Its not voices rather a feeling.Its night here so im especially tempted to drink the bottle of pine sol.I dont think im going too.But its very hard not to at the same time.My therapist is threatening to lock me away somewere permenately if i […]
I haven’t been here in a while, but that doesn’t mean anything.
I don’t know what’s wrong now.
I feel…
anxious (for no good reason)
afraid (but not sure of what)
alone (but I have the same number of people to talk to as before)
I keep trying to…
not give up
curl up and disappear (physically)
not self-harm
self-harm as much as I can
understand myself
give up
tell off the offensive
submit to avoid attack
live
die
I don’t know what is going on. Help… Anyone?
I feel like everyone has a sob story or what some might call a good reason. “I’m insecure” or “I’m depressed” or “I’m abused”. That’s all sad and really painful and I get why you might just want to give up.
The thing with me is: I don’t even have any of that. It was a slow process, but at the same time it happened in the blink of an eye; a rush of clarity for me.
There’s nothing for me here. There never will be. Nothing had to happen to convince me of it, because I think I’ve always known.
Nothing ever feels right. […]
The real world isn’t rainbows and sparkles.
It’s not always fun and rarely easy.
Honestly its far from easy or fun.
It’s cruel and brutal,
Cold and heartless,
Unforgiving and dark,
Depressing and awful,
Bitchy and duechey,
Pointless and crazy,
And so are the people in the fucked up world.
Its full of the terrible people,
people that feed off your pain,
they will do anything to make you suffer.
People are vile and cruel.
They will do anything to make you miserable.
Some days they are going to win,
but some day they will lose and you will realize how strong you are.
Now I know every one who has ever killed himself or herself never had a good reason to do so (according to others). Still they do….. and will go on taking their own life, rejecting this wonderful gift given by God. Maybe to some this gift is not at all a gift. I don’t see it as a gift. For me life had always been a burden. Humanity is not like a Jane Austin book. It is at most times stark ugly and cruel. There are no happy endings in life just some good stuff followed by a lot of  bad stuff, then a good […]
As the title states, this is my first post. I don’t even know what  to say except that life feels meaningless.
If I wasn’t such a chicken shit I’d probably have offed myself back in college, but I’ve always been too scared to do it.
My depression started like a spiderweb crack– at first, it was isolated, but now it has spread and I feel like I bring misery to everyone who loves me. I lose everyone who gets close to me because they meet me and I seem so great and bubbly and fun to be with, and then they slowly have to watch me sink […]
Well, after contemplating for a couple hours, I finally decided to post something. The main reason is because I mean who the hell wants to listen to some teenager going on about how depressed he is when there is no reason as to why he would be? I have a roof to sleep under and food to eat every night. I don’t get bullied. I don’t hate myself or think I’m ugly or stupid. I have no good reason to want to die. Â But yet there’s something inside me that is tearing me apart. I have no emotions any more. I just want to die. […]
Ive lost/about to lose everything that is important to me. I let some outside factors take over and rule my life. Making my relationship suffer and eventually costing me the only person who really matters. It all started when my dad was tricked into accepting stolen property. My dad is an old sick gentle man who has survived cancer. He still needs a lot of medical attention but now he has two felony accounts on him. During the same time my band i have been with for 5+years breaks up and one of best friends goes to jail for something he didnt even do. So […]
I don’t know what to live for anymore. My life goes the same pattern every single day and I think it’ll go the same way every single day ’til I die. I wake up, go to school, do some homework, do some household choirs, watch some tv, go to bed. In the future school will switch to work.
I mean… No day has meaning and every day is a struggle. So why continue? I know I’ll never get completely through my traumas and I’ll never be truly happy. (And yes I know that happiness isn’t a destination, more like a way of life but still I […]
This past summer my three sisters have repeatedly tricked me into seeing/being near my mother. Not wanting to make a scene I was as cordial as humanly possible. I decided to wait until summer was over to explain to my mother how I really felt.
Before this summer I had gone ten years without seeing her – for good reason.
She abused me. Not just a slap on the face, but literally beat me bloody. She would lock me outside for days with no food, give my siblings and I scoring hot baths, beat us until our skin was raw and tender to the touch, call us […]
I actually know why I’m still here… it’s because I’m really too scared to kill myself. Â But even though I have a daughter and husband and family and friends who all love me, I’m suffering. Â I’m suffering a lot and I don’t want to continue to suffer the rest of my life. Â How is it considered selfish of ME to want to end my suffering, but not of THEM to want to keep me around for no good reason other than they want me here. Â And I don’t even know why they want me. Â I’m not a great parent (she’s 3 and I can’t even […]
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