christianity put the fear of hell in me and is punishing me for bad looks and small sins i can’t take back. i don’t want anyone to have that authority over me. Cyanide and gunshot is how hitler died. this is a very cruel world full of cruel people.
Tag:
Hatred
At all. I hate the person I become when I’m actually achieving something in life (schoolwise, at this point). And I hate the person I am when I sit at my computer all day playing games. I could totally be a fucking mooch if I wanted. Who am I kidding, I’m a fucking mooch right now. 24 years old this Sunday and I still live with my parents, who pay pretty much all of my expenses. Especially school, which I’ve been in since I was 18. Granted, I’m going to a state school and my parents are not poor, but I still feel like shit […]
It’s gradualy filling up.My heart is turning jet black,I just feel it.It always felt so empty but now the void is replaced with hatred and disgust.Hatred for my own kind.Hatred for myself most.I’m such a trash.A trash that live in this dump called earth.A dump filled with being I consider trash as well,all piled up together.
I just can’t feel contempt,I can’t be happy here.The only thing that kept me here so long are video games,pathetic as it may.I’m tired of wasting every days away on those stupid games so my poor little self don’t have to think about anything.I achieve nothing everyday.
I just hate humankind.
I […]
I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read this post.
My whole life, I have felt two things: loneliness and the hatred towards myself.
Why do I hate myself?
I am not smart. I am not good looking. I am not talented in anything at all.
I really am useless.
I have classmates telling me, I can’t do anything right; leaving me out of the social life. No matter how hard I tried to fit in, I end up seeing pitch black of nothing, my existence shouldn’t exist in the first place.
I have read a numerous amount of quotes motivating me to never give up, […]
Something that I once built
As a set of goals and fixed opportunities
Protected my whole life
Been destroyed
By the conflicted torments
All that I did
I still couldn’t do anything to fix it
Because every time I tried to touch those pieces
They would just tremble into dust
Every aspect of broken pieces crumbled
At the tip of a tiny touch
As I walked through the kingdom once again
Felt like a hatred soul had woken up
Followed the same route
Protected the key with just nothing but darkness
Dug up a hole in the very pit of the soul
Tried so hard to not get close again
Tried so hard not to act the same again
Forcefully doing so
Challenged everything
Changed […]
I am not one for showing my true feelings to the general public. I consider myself to have gone completely numb on the inside but nobody could ever tell thanks to my happy personality which I fake just so I do not have to answer questions regarding my true life. I thought once I got out of high school my life would be a bit different, it is in some ways but not everything is peachy. I have been physically and mentally abused by my mom since I was born and I am 21 now and it still continues. According to her I am worthless, […]
“The Suburbs”
In the suburbs I
I learned to drive
And you told me we’d never survive
Grab your mother’s keys we’re leavin’
You always seemed so sure
That one day we’d be fighting
In a suburban war
Your part of town against mine
I saw you standing on the opposite shore
But by the time the first bombs fell
We were already bored
We were already, already bored
Sometimes I can’t believe it
I’m movin’ past the feeling
Sometimes I can’t believe it
I’m movin’ past the feeling again
Kids wanna be so hard
But in my dreams we’re still screamin’ and runnin’ through the yard
And all of […]
i cant stand that he still gets to walk around. he still gets to drink his beer sit on his fat ass walk around like he owns everyone spend all day on the computer stalking people on facebook. i cant stand that he will never be held accountable for the hell he made me experience and for ruining my life. all i feel is a very deep hatred that goes beyond what my body can contain. i hate having to see him. i wish i would never see him again. the problem is that my mother is still married to him and i love and […]
I died. It was no accident. I rented a nice hotel room. Then I swallowed a lot of pills that would dissolve my liver and brain. I cut my arms open, and took enough aspirin that nothing but my failing heart could stop the bleeding. And so I died.
Then I met God. He was everything they show in the movies. A giant of a man, long in years, with a flowing white mane and long gray beard. As for his face, no matter how I tried to look at it, I could never quite see it. And he asked, “Why have you […]
Tear after the other, I failed to finish crying….
Keeping this mask on is draining my last bit of sanity..
Why is it when your sad you are always alone? Why is it that only I find pleasure in being there among those  who pretend to care?
Where is everyone now, when I am the one in need?
Been strong for so long, but loneliness has taken its toll on me, I dared to seek care… I dared to ask for tenderness.. I dared to imagine being loved.. But time after time, the nightmare kicked me in the guts, with phantoms of beings which never gave any of such …
Until..
I met […]
Goddamn, but it hurts. And there are too many similarities between all my experiences, too many for comfort. It makes me feel ugly and uncertain. It feels so UNJUST, you know?
What is “fair”, anyways?
It’s my lack of trust, which hurts me so much. So much. and I think they misunderstand me. But how much am I to blame?
I’m trying so hard to stand up for myself, to respect MYSELF. And I realize I can be so destructive, which is why I keep everything bottled up inside in an attempt to be “fair” and not hurt anyone. But all that bottled stuff is constantly poisoning me […]
Nothing, that’s what I am, and that’s what I feel. I may be breathing but, I am not living. Nothing that I ever do is ever good enough for anyone, and it never will be. For years I used to blame those that were around me for the way that I am, but maybe all along it has only truly been me. Maybe the beatings, the abuse, the hatred that others always directed at me was never really their fault, perhaps the blame should have been pointed at me all along. There is no reason for me to live, everything that I have ever held dear to […]
Hi guys.. did that Mormon prick disappear yet? I couldn’t stomach how that sad little demon took over the forums, and I have a hard time not reacting to trolls, so kept clear. Thanks to Dawg and many others, the troll was battled and showed his true colors of virulent racism, hatred and homophobia. It was SAD because evil people like that are one of the things that has made me hate society, the world, and assured me I am right o withdraw and watch the whole of the country walk cheerfully into the shitter shouting God Bless USA!! God Bless US!.
Anyway – this is […]
I, am a suicide survivor. I know not everyone will believe my story, like I know, but I do ask you to listen to me. I was there.
On a late winter night (seven years ago) I found myself homeless. After SEVERAL suicide “attempts’ (not too too serious ones) I made up my mind, that this was it. I was Agnostic/Atheist. I wasn’t sure what I believed, yet. I later that night found myself living with a group of drug addicts, not very pleasant. So, I took my razor from my wallet and sliced into my arm, repeatedly. I ate only handfuls of aspirin, and one […]
this is the angriest poem I’ve ever written. It cones from the deepest footings of my hatred. Enjoy
I split my arms open every night to endure
The pain I am put through each day
All the fakeness all the lies I see through
Has done nothing to save my faith
I want to watch you burn. I want to see you die.
I want to see the light leave your eyes as I kiss you goodbye
And laugh the way you did when I tried to kill myself
You said that you’d be there for me
That’s one cut
You said that you’d stay true
That’s two
truthbetold is a jaded individual
urban dictionary says:
a) the end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences,disappointment, and unfulfillment fed into a person
where they get to the point where their anger circuits just sort of burn out and they accept disillusionment.
b) emotionally numb. having been through so much pain that you simply give up and decide unconciously not to feel anymore. mental suicide.
I also have dormant hatred for humanity, which is awaken when people do or say things that remind me how compassionate us humans can be ..
my friend depression tends to find its way inside my mind during the fall and usually leaves […]
This is the final test of…. well I don’t really know.I am going back to the place where it all began.where it began and ended. I don’t know if I can take it without breaking down. to somepeople on here we sound happy in comments when we really are dying inside. for me music kinda helps sad or not. I personally like arms of an angel by Sarah mchlaughlan and emotionless by good Charlotte. but I am still partly dead inside.I said before I hated my dad. but honestly id rather feel.sadness/depression rather than hatred.
Why is that people ask you not to compare your life with others at times and then take a complete U-Turn and ask to look at others life at other times? World always tries to find a way to influence your life, your decisions, they always want you to live your life as it best suits them. The reason for my decision is not my hatred of this world, or hatred for life – on the contrary its quite opposite – I love this world, I love life. But unfortunately, I don’t enjoy it anymore, I live everyday as its a burden – with a […]
no more depression starting today. At least, no more acknowledging it. I know why it’s there now, I know it. I’ve got the spotlight on my darkness. I’m no more better off but at least I’ve come to terms with this putrid existence. I’ve drowned in misanthropy, hatred for my fellow man. I’ve closed myself off to the world for the most part, spend every day miserable and unsatisfied.
I know now, nothing will please me, and that’s just fine. I feel that much more at peace with death and will fear it that much less when it comes, whenever it comes.
I’ve been doing the […]
Hahaha nothing really matters anymore and no one acts like they care so why should I. My hatred for everyone who talks/looks at me continues to grow. I care for almost no one and like i said they don’t seem to care about me. I wake up feeling numb and emotionless my nightmares wake me up in the night giving me the only sense of emotion I have.  I hate life tonight i think i am going to try suicide for the 4th time and it most likely won’t work ( let’s just say I would make a really sucky murderer) and when it doesn’t work it […]