hey guys, have you ever been made aware that you were going to lose someone and the person you were going to lose didnt want to talk about it or didnt want you to help them?almost like they wanted to die, just give up and die. and you cant really talk to anyone but that one person. and because they dont want to talk about it ect. you bottle it up inside, and its like a wounded dragon who cant lick its wounds. so eventually it lashes out to make people feel or aware of what your feeling, and of course you look like an […]
Seeing You, I cannot lie… it kills me
IÂ get even more depressed when I see You.
Your beautiful eyes.. dirty blonde hair that always flips to one side..
I think You’re beautiful.. absolutely beautiful..
But that’s what You think about.. Her..
Not me.
Seeing You smile, brightens up my day
yet still the room darkens, since Your smile isn’t towards me.
I hate seeing You, and not being able to talk to You
Hold You
Touch You
Kiss You
and mostly..
Love You.
I can love You from afar.. but it is not the same as when I was loving You upclose..
Seeing You is like a little knife being stabbed in my heart
and several blows to the stomache.
Seeing You […]
He was beautiful in every single way, the way he looked at me with his big brown eyes, and how I knew everything he was going to say before he said it. Everything was nonsense it was like life was no longer real and I was living a fairy tale. It wasn’t until I met him that I knew, your life changes in every way when you meet the right person. He was the right person because when I was with him nothing else in this world mattered, the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders and I couldn’t help but to fall […]
My dad is depressed and I’m a little worried about him. I don’t know why I feel the fear I do of losing him to this depression but I am scared. The last two nights he has come home late and been drinking,, not hard liquor just beer, but if you knew my father, you’d know, before the depression he might of drank one beer every 7 to 8 months ( not exaggerating)  his depression has struck a cord in me and In worrying about him I kind of worry about myself. I don’t mean to sound selfish, because I am not but if suicide were on his mind and he went through with it (though […]
There was a time years ago when I was so depressed, I cried myself to sleep every night but everyday, I smiled. I was a clown who couldn’t wash off her make-up. I didnt really know myself, a girl I was “in love” with broke my heart, lied to me and led me on. And yes, it sent me further into depression. I did some drugs, pills. I drank some, vodka. But really, what depressed me the most is everyone thought I was fine and looking back now, I know thats what really bothered me. My family thought I was fine, hell, everyone thought I was fine. […]
About 5 years ago my youngest sister was molested by my “mothers” husband. She was only 7 years old at the time and I was 11. As you could imagine I didn’t know what to think at the time. If the claim was true or not, I wasnt there. Of course she told her schools guidance counselor, she needed to tell someone. Next thing I knew, some lady from social services picked me up from school and not knowing what was going on I asked her if she knew. Til this day I really have no idea why she got all in my face about […]
This past month ive had a relapse of depression. I was depressed as a kid (age 7-10) and now I’m depressed again (age 15). The reason for my relapse is frustration and stress at school with grades and such. It has escalated so quickly. I think of suicide most of the time. Today at school when i was walking in the hall i saw a sign out of the corner of my eye and one of the words read “Suicide” and did a double take and the word was gone. I guess i hallucinated. Anyway, i was never diagnosed with depression and i want to […]
My story began many years ago when I was a naive kid who was bullied. Every time I tried to be perfect, friendly with people and never say any bad word. I trusted people and they trusted me because they knew I will never disappoint them. However, they disappointed me. It was one of the reasons why I became a potential liar. Honestly, I didn’t know that many years, even if some people asked me to stop doing that shit. I didn’t want to be antisocial, so I tried keep talking with people without opening my heart. Sometimes I lied, sometimes I didn’t tell the […]
If you wont listen to me, then how can i listen to you?
You expect me to understand?
Stand by and watch?
I tried to do that, i really did.
tried to see if you could find your way on your own.
But you couldnt.
Whether you really couldnt do it,
or if you just decided that you want to be miserable…
Ive tried to help you.
You blow off everything i saw, and hang up on me when i am being honest with you.
And honesty is what you said you wanted,,
not lies and bullshit..
the truth and straight shit.
Im sorry.
I love you dearly, with all my heart.
I want you to stay around forever and […]
This is me and my x boyfriend. I met him at a party he was the first guy i was truely happy with. I love him so much i was willing to give up everything.. even my virginity. but we never made it that far. When he got a job he started to like another girl. Weeks past and i noticed he was distancing himself from me, one day i asked him ” what time do you get off tonight” and he snapped saying “why do […]
I put my heart and my soul
Into everything I write
You came here and you stole
And betrayed the copyright
From another site
(2 actually)
If you’re gonna cite word for word
At least have the nerve
To tell us you didn’t write it
But you keep on lying, you deny it
Makes me wonder if your life is
Half as bad as you claim
Im not here to ruin your highness
I’m not about any fame
I’m just being honest
And honestly I’m mad
How could you could lie this much
Who do you think you are, my dad?
Just be real with us and yourself
Hell, maybe you do need […]
I have always seen life as a quest. It works like a game plan. Every level gets tougher and the monsters and hurdles get more and more dangerous and difficult to cross. I don’t regret having my life but all I wish is to have someone who I can share it with. I did fall in love and then ended up with a crushed heart when the relationship ended. Occupying yourself definitely helps but the loneliness remains. I have plenty of friends but I miss the existence of the special one. Work can substitute thoughts but not feelings. I don’t know what I feel about […]
And by the light by which she had been reading the book of life,
blazed up suddenly,
illuminating those pages that had been dark,
then flickered grew dim
and went out forever
  Why am I here? There is no point to my heart beating except to just waste away time.  Nothing I ever do is right. No matter what I’m doing or who I’m trying to do it for, I never seem to do anything right.  Things would be so much easier for everyone if I was able to just […]
The pain i feel is real. Sometimes the hurt takes over and the scar in my heart is like a tunnel without the light at the end of it.
That would be, if i would make the puzzle. But thank God, i’m only a piece, made to fit perfectly.
Maybe the dark minutes are part of the plan.
”We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For […]
it hurts it burns deep in my core my heart beats for her my life depends on her. She destroys me but she also makes me im in love with the stress,the pain the lust but most imporantly im use to her that i cant leave because there might not be nobody else like her. Almost 3 years and i still love you but i also grew hate but for some reason i smile when i say that and iknow you will always smile when you hear that. I cant change it even though i wish i.could but sometimes i like it because this […]
Im seeing them again.. the three black circals that cloud my vision…. I wanna cut so badly.. i was using my coping skills again tonight its 2am here. My most useful coping skill at the moment is drawing. My mom (step mom)Â came over to check on me i asked to have more paper. She said no that i need to stop distracting myself and get to sleep.. i just wanted to scream.
She’s the person who doesnt get it most of all. She’s super religious. She doesnt get that im bisexual. I’m just “in a phase” . […]
I am truly in love with the man i let go. I let him go because i felt like i knew i just didnt love him anymore. Two years of bliss and i let it all go. We fought a lot. He was a marine, 6 states away from me. We had an apt together where he never really was able to enjoy. He was supposed to come home to me and we were to have a future together but i let it all go. He told me i would regret it and at the time i was sure to let him go.
Ive been battling […]
ive been doing some thinking lately, which isnt really normal for me. im usually impulsive, which isnt good since its got me where im at today.
but i dont really think im suicidal, more like i just want to stop existing in this world. and the only way to escape it is to die. but i think i would still be the same way i am now, even if life had dealt me a different hand. i would always feel lonely, even if i was surrounded by people. i just feel like im different, everything im into or not into doesnt fit the fold. everything i […]
hi everyone, for the past month ive been in hospital. you may of read the other posts but if you didnt then ill explain, when i tried to commit suicide my mum found me and i was only just concious, i told her to write on here and say sorry to all of you wonderful people. the things i did to try make this work was, poison, overdose and cutting my wrists and it would of worked if mym mother didnt come in my room. i left her and my family a letter explaining further details of this website and told her it was important. […]
While I am reminiscing on the memories that slowly but sweetly tortures my heart.
With all the thoughts running through my head.
Was there something that could be changed?
And somehow make all the pain that was created to go away
I don’t want you back
I want the happiness you brought to my heart
And knew someone cared
But I guess im not well enough or someone you would love to always be there
Now the days are surely getting harder
And im longing for your thoughts
The way you used to hold me
Did you think that I forgot?
I may not be what you want
But im someone that is begging on my knees
Somehow I […]