This one time I saw a little girl eating ice cream and playing with her little brother. Her hair was puffy and cute. Full of volume. she had glasses and she looked happy. She was smiling. She looked about 7-8 years of age. When i saw her my heart filled with joy of how cute she looked. i wanted to hug her because she looked really cute, but all I did was yell “oh my god look at that child’s hair!” and i pointed at her. Like a *****. LIKE AN IDIOT. I went home and didn’t say a word to anyone. I locked myself […]
i am so hurt. i am so alone. i am crying every day because i miss her so much.
i am not afraid of being gone. i am afraid of being here, without her.
she told me more than once, “you are the only man i could ever imagine forever with, and that makes me so happy.”
now, she doesn’t speak to me at all… and very likely says those same words to another. this pain is too much. it may be “normal” for everyone else in the world to love and then leave. it may be perfectly acceptable for everyone else to abandon someone who truly cares. […]
Everything seems like a good idea when you’re drunk…
I spared little emotion for my friends. none for my family. none for all those I had seen just the night before, there’s nothing that can have you writhing on the floor like angry pain blown up by a bottle of whiskey. but that’s who I was. This was any other night. just like the one a couple months ago where my friends rescued me from the police, just like the one the other week where I had rode a flight of stairs.
A text from the ex, oh yeah that woman who had left me for another […]
I made a post a couple months ago about a girl that I loved who cheated on me and left me. And how I thought that I had nothing left. Thanks to you guys I moved on and forgot about her. But she came back into my life and acted like snitching was wrong. I didn’t want to be mean, so I welcomed her presence. She led me on again and I fell so the same trick. She got me to care for her again and broke my heart again. I’m a moron for falling for it but the real problem is that I haven’t […]
Love. It’s such a simple thought, yet it’s so complicated. We spend our whole lives looking for that one person. That one person that loves you unconditionally. That one person that wants to be with you forever. That one person that understands.
I found this person 7 months ago. He’s perfect, absolutely perfect. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. He understands i’m manic depressive. He understands I sometimes need my space. He understands I’ll be suicidal. It’s a feeling of content in your heart, when you know you’ve found the one and only person you want to be with forever.
So I never really loved anyone in my life. I don’t really like my parents either. I was neglected by my mom, who is an alcoholic, and my dad that is always busy at work supporting the family. So i’ve been alone for about a good 15 years? I never had many friends. I couldn’t trust any of them. They’re just back stabbers. Not a single one of them was faithful. I was picked on throughout my childhood. So much that it just doesn’t bother me anymore. I really don’t care about many things now. People call me name but it’s whatever. I really don’t […]
Killed the children of our love
Filled our lives with pills
A journey of pain from the start
It’s gonna rain
and I don’t have a heart
I am ashamed of what I’ve done
Will you cry when I am gone?
What if God doesn’t exist
Will you let me be dead meat?
I’ll be here for you
When your life stops making sense
Cause death is so intense…
We’ll meet in hell again
When you feel well again
So we can start again
I’ve never done this before but I need someone who understands me to talk to. Let me start by describing myself a little bit. So I’m a 25yo woman (kid at heart). I’m told by most I look like I should be a model (I don’t see it). I have an awsome personality very down to earth open minded and supportive to others and have a lot of knowledge about life do to my own exploring. I have no kids but the best dog in the world that I would take a bullet for and a man of 6 years. But ever since I can […]
I ask if some of you can take a minute to read something of mine. Its not special. I used to love writing. Poetry and the art of literature was my passion. Unfortunately like most of me.. it has died. I wrote something for the first time in many years tonight.. As I keep myself from wishing I could end my life.
Ugh.. fuck! I’ve always hated my birthday.
You used to be there. Holding me tight; you made me whole.
You were my love, my heart, and everything in between. Until you peered into my soul.
I asked you to stay. You told me no.
Why did I have […]
why does life have to be so hard?some people think its so easy,or they say(it cant be that bad)them are the people who have family,and friends,people that care about them,and have never been hit in there entire lifes,lets see them close minded fucks try to walk in these shoes,them people that tell me that,wouldnt last a day,iv lasted 21 years,i cant say i survived,i thrived more then anything,i still thrive,i aint that lucky little 16 year old who has a mom and a dad to buy her a car and get her ,her drivers licence,i dont have the support for shit,i do everything on my […]
My world is sinking in
Ankle-deep
And skin, too thin.
Trapped in solitude,
Surrounded by multitudes,
Misunderstood
Left unprotected,
Left too corrected.
Caught in a dream world,
Not here, not there.
Nowhere.
Bullet in my head,
Swinging from a tree,
Buried six feet under,
Why won’t she die?
Â
Ripped and broken,
Torn a sunder,
With a heart like hers,
It’s a wonder.
Let her wander,
In the desert,
Through the mud,
There is no water,
Only sun..
Breaking chains,
Breaking free,
Still feel bound,
To every day.
Breaking hearts,
Broken mind,
Breaking promises,
Need to unwind.
Breaking faces with fists of iron,
And suffering the consequences
From whence they burn.
Time to sleep,
Time to die,
It’s better than this,
Unable to cry.
Foundering in my thoughts,
Left to think,
It’s a crime,
To plot to murder yourself
For less than the dime
You found in your wallet,
Hidden in […]
I love my friends with all my heart, but it really seems like they just don’t care about me. Saying they do is one thing, but doing is another. Whenever they need help, I’m there. Whenever they need anything, I’m there. It could be just a small problem and I’ll listen to them no matter what. I have picked them up in the middle of nights many times. I do things without expecting a thank you in return. But whenever I’m feel sad or hurt they just give some one-liner bullshit like “Oh, I’m sorry.” Then they move on with their day. I’ll be honest […]
Things were supposed to get better. I’ve made great friends here on SP and even have a ‘special someone’ in my life.
But of course, last night it all came crashing down. There are no words to describe how broken I am now. My heart aches more than it ever has. I’m tired of hurting people. My life will never let me be ok. I’m back to the mirror and I hate standing here. I hate looking at this person. I’m crying so hard I can barely breathe. I’m dirty again and now I have the blood of the only people I had left on my […]
Okay so my kind of suicidal is more like hours of disgusting contemplation over the most gruesome way to kill myself. But I’m not always suicidal, I am usually a very happy person. This feeling is only ensued when….I even get angry typing it out…..when my parents mention marrying me off. And I’m only ******* seventeen and I’m still a junior in high school (I started school late). I get extremely angry and my head starts throbbing (I can even hear it beating), and my body starts shaking like crazy. I go to an empty room and cry my heart and eyes out. I think […]
I’ve been thinking recently, I could just die right now, it’s the most truthful thing I’ve said in a while. I’ve stopped eating, I’m throwing it all away… there’s starving people out there, why should I eat, when they have to wait… Everyday, I’m breaking apart it’s tearing out every trace of my heart. Do you feel this too? When doubt hits you hard… anyway, where should I start?
The last five years of my life, atleast since i can remember back till i was about ten, my bother has been abusive to me in forms that over brother/sister fighting…. I have lived with my mother and him my whole life. My mother who is 52 years old has none of him doing this and has not done anything about it. She is very sick and is disabled so she doesn’t make much money. My brother used most of her money on weed and stupid shit. Im still in high school. He’s 19 living with us and has not tried to even look for […]
everything i do is for her. everything she does is also for her. i wish i could stop my heart from beating for her… but the only way to do that is to stop my heart from beating period.
it isn’t supposed to be like this. i miss her so much.
I made a few posts on here a while ago. I was in a really bad place.
Since then, I have made significant changes in the way I think and approach every situation. It hasn’t been easy, but I honestly feel like things will be okay. The posts that I read through really break my heart. I hope that you will all find a way to be okay with who you are because we all deserve to be happy.
So this is my last post. I will think of you all everyday whether I’ve spoken to you or not.
With love,
brighteyes. xx
Hello guys, (edit: why is my post all written in green? its hard to read :S highlighting the text with your mouse helps)
I’ve been thinking about suicide pretty much my entire life. This is going to be quite straight up but bear with me. First, let’s talk a bit about myself so you now a little bit more about who’s writing this.
I am now 23 years old, on my last year of university here in Quebec, Canada. I’ve been studying marketing since I’ve always been really good at selling and customer service. My real passions, however, are sports, videogames and marijuana. Yes, marijuana. I won’t […]
What do you want?
Life can be very difficult, I know how bad it can get, The pain of losing someone is second to none. If you know that pain then i am truly sorry for you. How about that I’m starting to tear up in a public internet cafe in Delhi, and i already kind of stick out!!
Things that have helped me, I mediated three times a day, it is an amazing stress release and it helps me loads, I try to surround myself in friends and new people. Do not hide away, sometimes you need to be alone, but do not linger, loneliness breads depression […]