They bring up memories. They bring up pain. They bring up the past. There is no gain. Only loss. I want to cry so badly right now. And I feel– Know– nobody cares. You may say you do, but I know the truth. I look at my screensaver, I read them. Obesity. I’ll always be it. Ugly. I’ll always feel it. Depression. I’ll never outgrow it. Stupid person saying he can make everything better. But guess what happened last time someone said that?? “I… Kinda met…. Someone.” Then he left. He never talks to me anymore. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. That’s […]
“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me: I quit!’â€
― Bill Maher
“When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.â€
― Marilyn Monroe, My Story
“We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.â€
― George Sand, Mauprat
“What’s the big fucking deal? Lots of amazing people have committed suicide, and they turned out alright.â€
― Emilie Autumn
“I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.â€
― James Baldwin
“She […]
Haha it’s one of those nights again
Haha I can’t be the only one who feels this shit, right?
Posting drunk when I’m honestly sober
But I feel like last years tequila finally went to my head
I’m running through the parking lot screaming
My boss is parked right here
Slashing those tires, and I cut my hand
Suddenly my wrists are bleeding out
Haha I actually love my job, you know?
Haha my blood turns his white truck brown
Eyes wide enough to open the door
My smile returns and no one will know
Twitching on the bus as I wanna die on the […]
Sometimes, I do wonder. How could hell be a place much worse than here? At least there, I’d know why I’m there. I dont know why I’m here. I’ve always wanted to be the person..the one who helps out that kid..the kid that no one knows is going through something, or feeling llonely, or contemplating suicide…I realized tonight that no one feels this way but me. I AM that kid. Â The kid that silently feels like a screw up..the one who relies on men because they have no one else. The one who feels lonely and hides well enough that everyone thinks im fine. I […]
To Mum and Dad,
Both of you are fucking horrible people to hang around. Dad, I disowned you early last year, and Mum, I disowned you at the end of last year. You and dad are alcoholic ugly people who gave me life with no regards to what your actions would do to me and my two brothers. We made choices, but you also helped us make the wrong choices. I hope you both fall off a cliff tomorrow. Kill yourselves so I and many others do not have to think about you anymore. You are not my parents, even though you are biologically. You are […]
Well, I’m the girl everyone thinks is happy. They all come to me with their problems. No one would suspect that I’ve dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts as long as I can remember…
I know the first time I remember wanting to die was when I was 7 years old. When I voiced this thought to my mother, she said she would hit me if I ever said that again.
I remember I was about 12 or 13 when I first started cutting and starving myself. No one thought anything of my rapid weight loss; kids go through stages where they suddenly lose […]
I know I’m going to get expelled again. But this time I’m not going to wait to see it happen. I’m having my first exam (in this new university) on Monday. I’ll take it. And then I’ll end it. Even just now, instead of getting myself ready for the upcoming exam, I’m just sitting here and staring straight before me. Every moment sucks. Every damn moment. I can’t get over the thought that I’ve chosen the cheapest way to die, and the most ridiculous. Drowning myself in a laundry basin, bullshit, huh? I’ve even been working hard on it, made a few trial runs, to […]
I have found that I worked all my life for Woman who did not love me. I am the youngest of my family and not very good with the other sex. I fear being alone all my life It is a very painful life I have no one and wish too die without shaming my family with my suicide I know God is good but I think some people are going too hell no matter what just like some people are born beautiful are rich.I just wish too leave this painful life.If you could help me I would be in you’re debt.
She is cutting again
she cant hide here pain
blood flowing from her veins
and they call her insance
She is insecure again
but the marks she made
in her room last night
with the only way she finds
She is pulling her sleeves down
she is crying all along
the way to her school
is not so far
She is afraid
to face the crowd
she better know
they will make her drown
she don’t want
to go back to the place
full of insults
and an unwanted pain
they call it school
she calls it hell
because that’s the only place
where she lost herself
And now
she is down again
but it’s not her fault
why every time she should pay
She is going back
to her home
but she cant bear
this […]
Again, it’s me.
I figure I should do a re-cap just so no one gets lost.
My father abandoned my mother and I when I was five months old.
My mother met a new guy when I was four and I caught them having sex. Since that night, she made me watch and take part in sexual activities.
My mother moved me twelve hours away from my last piece of sanity and put me through hell with that new guy.
When I was eight my mother and I were out of a house so she shipped me off to my fathers.
While living with my […]
So, in two days, I will be graduating highschool, on the surface I’m happy and just as excited as my friends, and I am, don’t get me wrong, this is a huge step in my life but.. at the same time. I don’t know, there’s this little part of me that wants me to feel miserable.
I can’t wait to leave highschool and all the dicks in my school, I’ve seen enough of them to last me a lifetime. but I’m going to miss my friends, I don’t know when I’m going to see them again, cause some of them are moving away, like far away, […]
am 19 year old, a second year student of Psychology from St. Xavier’s College.
I do not exactly remember how long it has exactly been but I have never had a good relationship with my parents since I was some 16 year old after I had my first relationship with a guy.
Though they let me go out to college, but my life is equivalent to hell. I do not say I am the only suffering person in the world, but for me, at this moment, only my pain matters.
Day before yesterday when city enjoyed one of the loveliest weather, I asked my mother […]
I think that’s the way to go. Â I’m talking 600+ feet from the ground onto pavement. Â It’d be scary as fuck but you’d probably die before you even hit the ground. Â Much better than hanging in your garage or becoming a vegetable from a bullet to the head. Â It’d be gory as hell but who gives a fuck. Â Thoughts?
It was only recently that I’d stumbled across a site like this, somewhere to put my thoughts, with complete strangers, unbiased views of a life.
As is everyone else for being here, I wish to end my life.
In my family, I am the oldest, naturally, the one with the highest of expectations.
I was also, in all technically, a bastard child, one with a father, if that should even be used, whom left, and said I was being created in the belly of a slut mother, who slept with everyone but him, hereby resulting in me not being blood to him.
As expected, he was simply […]
Those of us who can’t get N are left to hang or blow our brains out. Â Is this what the world is all about? Â Fuck everything. Â FUCKKKING FUCK!! Â Lol this life is so fucked up it’s comical.
what the hell is the point of life?
what the hell am i living for?
what the hell is my problem?
what the hell is the reason for all my issues?
what the hell is wrong with life??
I miss him so much. I want my best friend back. I want to hug him and tell him just how much he means to me. I just want to see him again. I want so badly to see his bright blue eyes and blonde hair.
But I can’t.
He’s dead.
He would be ashamed of me. Drugs, alcohol, cutting, and my bitter attitude. Not much to be proud of.
There’s a part of me, though that thinks that he would be proud of me. I’ve been to hell and back, with both physical and emotional damages, but I’m still breathing. I can walk into a room and act […]
to your post about how confused you feel all the time, the rage, anger, etc, I understand. I feel completely hopeless at times but try not to let my kids see it, but they know anyway. Just wanted you to know I understand the mixture of immense emotions we have all the time. Most people don’t, theyre the normal people I say but I do understand how complex this fucked up thing can be. You just want someone to understand how much pain youre feeling because most people cant understand. were angry, kind, loving, pissed, confused, desperate,sad, hopeless and trying to survive another day without […]
I have had a really hard life. And I bet a lot of you people reading this have had one too. But not all.. This is my story…
Hi, I am a fourteen year old girl who has been humililated, tortured, and bullied my whole life. I don’t have friends. I am very anti-social. I am home schooled because of everything that has happened. I am only in 8th grade. And My life is a complete hell. I have been bullied for about 9 years now, since the day I moved here. I used to here people in the hall ways, and I was just a […]
Litany of my faults
I’m vain, despotic, blasphemous;
proud, haughty, ungrateful, scornful;
but still retain rose complexion.
The fire of hell burns me.
Cut glass is my system.
I’m egotistical, cold, tumultuous.
I break like fragile butterfly.
I myself have built my curse.
I’m perverse, wicked, vindictive.
It provided my blood and fugitive.
My thoughts are very taciturn.
My dreams of sin are nocturnal.
I’m hysterical, crazy, insane;
but to eternity and sentenced.
(Pita Amor, 1987)
LetanÃa de mis defectos
Soy vanidosa, déspota, blasfema;
soberbia, altiva, ingrata, desdeñosa;
pero conservo aún la tez de rosa.
La lumbre del infierno a mà me quema.
Es de cristal cortado mi sistema.