This as been eating at me all day! How the hell is she about to let you finger her in school? No. Nasty. Ewh. Tf? Stay classy hunn. You last had sex in a school room? Sendin naked pictures.. don’t get me wrong i’ve had sex. but not in school!
Tag:
Hell
Why is it so hard for me to let people in? Why do I put on a mask and hide my emotions? I can almost feel a curtain come down, blocking my soul from whoever may be there.
I just don’t know what to do. I feel stuck,trapped oddly enough by my family. My husband has too much at work, and I don’t know how my kids would handle me having a second stay in the hospital in one year. That’s why the permanent solution keeps rolling around in my brain. Just be done with all of this. There’s a […]
i feel like i need to vent, talk to someone or just get away.
i don’t know why or whats causing me too since i took a weekend off last weekend.
i’m just sick of school, sick of feeling depressed and like crap all the time, i’m sick of not being able to talk to my girlfriend, just fuck it all
my thoughts of suicide have been on and off the past few weeks, the lesser of what they have been over the past month and a half or so.
thought about ways to go, like a simple bullet to the head, starvation, other things. I feel numb all […]
“We’re all lying to the mirror, lying to ourselves.”
Why can’t she see that I’m not alright?
Why can’t she see that I need her?
Why can’t she see that I hate myself?
Why can’t she see how I feel about her?
More importantly, why do I have to feel this way about her?
Why do I have to love her?
Do you know how often I hear people talk bad about gays, lesbian, and bisexuals? I listen to people go on about how it’s “Immoral” or “wrong” and I just have to sit there, clenching my fists, wanting to punch them all in the face. Because if they knew. If they really knew, then I would never be accepted. […]
As we are to the world, but I guess you would know that.
Favorite line from my favorite song. But moving forward.
I’ve been plagued with the world’s worse bout of depression I’ve ever felt. Its not that I havn’t felt this way before, but the difference here is that I can’t cry; and something about that seems to be hindering my healing process. Quite frankly though, I’m getting tired. Very tired.
I feel like I’m going insane, and the stillness I’m experiencing is like an inner ring of hell. I’m depressed to a point where there’s NOTHING I want to do, which makes no sense seeing as […]
By any means, I am not a ray of sunshine. I can’t help it. I’m only a teenager and I’ve basicly given up on life. I have no hopes for the future.
I used to want to be a journalist. I wanted to move back to Ireland and write about everything and anything. I wanted to get married and have a kid or two. I just wanted something out of life, but now I feel nothing. I feel numb. I just don’t know what I actually want. I had plans to do marvelous things with my best friends. But now, since one’s dead and the other […]
I walk upon this lonely road in a garden of the damned,
Where everyone will sleep one day and the ones who want to rot.
Their flowers wilt and spoil and brown from famine;
It isn’t true when people say they haven’t fought.
There’s blood among roses and posies and wildflowers,
And you don’t need thorns to make it so.
They slowly bleed up to the final hour;
Then nothing can save them and they feel alone.
There’s blood in the leaves and blood in the trees, everything decked in crimson,
No one seems to notice – except us, we do;
I wonder if they’re […]
Why is it that every time I start to care, something happens? Garrett freaking moved. Trevor has a girlfriend. Tennyson has a girlfriend. Emily likes Jacob. Bailey likes Brendan. I’m about to give up. I mean, don’t you think that something’s wrong when a sweet guy, named Paul, who’s.. special, if you get what I mean, goes to sit by you, then looks at you and says “I don’t wanna sit by that,” laughs, and walks away. Shouldn’t something be wrong if a guy that has barely had a girlfriend thinks that you’re nasty? I mean, what could be wrong with me? I haven’t… I’ve never […]
The spoiler of Life.      HOPE
Hope ,that last  line that keeps you hear grounded.
Hope also brings  along for the run, Faith.
The belief that it will get better. Faith
Witch also stands along side with religion .
IF anyone can stop you He can. By witch name do i call you.
ARE YOU Â the ALL FOGIVING GOD , will you forgive me for what
ive done. Or will you judge me a coward and plugs my soul to hell.
wait is their even a heaven ? In my sleep i fine freedom from my
mind consent war . The peace i seek is their , No more pain, Nothing
simple sleep  is this what death is like? […]
I’m really sorry I made this so long but if anyone can read and respond I’d be very grateful.
When I was in 3rd grade, I transferred out of my elementary school and went to a different one. However, when I got to the new school, I was always bullied. I don’t know why, but people just never seemed to like me. I would sometimes get beat up and kicked around at recess. I remember one particular day when they lured me behind a tree in 4th grade and 3 guys beat the hell out of me. Sure, my parents went and talked to the teachers […]
I’m new here, but I’ve been following this site for a few months now. I tried committing suicide almost a year ago. I was hospitalized for about 3 days before going into a psychiatric hospital for a week. It scared the hell out of me. I promised myself I never wanted to end up there again. The only people that know about this are my parents and my sister I was too ashamed to tell my best friend or any other family members. I did actually tell one friend from online but she completely laughed at me. Told me I was such a wuss  trying to commit […]
I can’t  cry. I can’t read. I can’t write. I can only think. What am I? A mute? A social deficit defiling the medium? I don’t want to talk about it, because then it doesn’t mean as much. I can only keep myself moving.. barely. Going through the motions. Why must the motions take so much away from everyone around me? Why must I have problems with eatting? Why can’t I be beautiful and healthy? Why is there no normal to be attained? I even put on our song to evoke the rolling storm, but the tears never came. They did the exact opposite actually. […]
The girl that’s been my bestfriend for 4 years is now talking to my rapist. She’s the one that told me he could burn in hell…and now they’re talking. I don’t even think I can begin to explain how I feel. I feel betrayed…I feel like I can’t have any friends. Her and another girl were pretty much the only people I trusted..now she’s talking to him and the other one is talking to the guy that calls me awful names.
Where’s my justice…where’s my hope.
Where the fuck is karma?
Hello everyone. If your reading this, Â then I assure you that right now I had forgotten this post. I wish not to remember my past, they had been changing me, transforming me, shapeshifting me, into such evil ways. I’m not evil myself, or at least I don’t want to be, but it’s come to a point now that I’ve become a whole different person from the experience I’ve been facing.
Although suicide is an option for me, I’m not planning to do such a thing so far. However, I do admire its benefits if I do take its path. But that brings a question, what does […]
I know I haven’t posted in a while… But it’s because I’ve been doing better. The reason I’m back is because I can’t just leave. I was put through this site for a reason, and I believe that as much as it was to help me, I have to try to help the others on here.
So. Suicide tape.
I have been taping my wrists, ankles, and waist for the past few weeks. Like actually taping off the areas I like to cut. I use hockey stick tape, or sports tape because its more comfortable and I can write on it like paper. It also doesn’t attract […]
It’s fine
I’m fine.
everything is fucking perfect.
no.
wait.
that’s a lie.
it isn’t.
and it won’t be.
“comon you idiot, smile. fake it! fake it!”
shut up coscience.
Look, pick your damn head up.
look in his eyes.
comon!
look!
jackie!
“I can’t…”
“he’s crying.”
“i’m dead…finally.”
he’s crying.
no, he’s laughing.
they all are.
they all are happy.
she’s dead, she’s dead, out her ankle she bled yay yay she’s dead.
they chant.
fucking cunts.
how am I seeing this.
my death.
holy fuck am I dead.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
shut up.
no.
I’m fine…
It’s okay…
i need to get that thru my head..i thought my bf who promised me everything just turned around in a flash and said cuz of his depression were over for good and we will never talk again..like wtf? who the hell does that..im depressed too but i would never do that. ever. i thought he was perfect…..that hed always love me…i was wrong..he was my last chance to wanting to live…now that hes gone..so am i.
YAY!! Again I was fooled by the empty promise which is…. actually scrap that, I won’t be dramatic about this, I will be plain and simple. And tell things just the way they happened. Just after that vicous attack on my mom, FINALLY! SAFETY! I thought, we were moving into the our new house on friday, without dad! WOOO! well that was until the other family started to get involved, moms parents didn’t give to hoots about what the hell she did, never did never will, UNTIL! she says shes moving to get SAFETY! SAFETY are you following? Then and only then do they decide […]
For years I’ve been afraid of fear. My main phobia is hands. How does an artist come to be so terrified of what she needs to use to create? And im not talking like an “ew, they’re creepy” fear, I mean full blown body shakes, nightmares, parinoia, the works.
and that’s only one of the endless list that i dont want to live.
There’s also heartache after constant heartbreak, the last one also the worst one, i just cant seem to recover from. Mainly because of the loss of my very first child.
There’s also having to choose between my parents, who divorced when […]