I can’t do this anymore, I can’t go on with the pain of being without her. I’ve tried everything, I’ve tried to be patient and all I’ve done is delayed the inevitable. I just want to give up, I want the pain to stop. No matter what I do I just can’t help myself. Nothing is going to change that she is gone, and no matter how far I run the ending will still be the same.im supposed to be young and happy, living in the best part of my life, yet it feels like hell and time just seems to crawl, I just want […]
Tag:
Hell
I’ve been clean for so long, I haven’t cut in over a year and it feels good. But the feelings won’t go away, they’ll never go away. At times I feel better, at times I feel so happy, and then it comes crashing down again. Thoughts, thinking, I know it’s a gift for us to be able to think unlike other beings, but I don’t want to be left alone with mine. They take me to dangerous places. Once they start, they never stop. It gets so out of hand, and I have thoughts of cutting again. Only sheer willpower stops me. This desire of […]
just want to tell the hole world to fuck off
idk how yet but im lookin for a way thats surefire
and plan to make sure i can rot there for a lil while
just in case i need to bleed out
shit cud be hell but if things dont change, they are already
fuck all scum sucking leeches
i will fucking haunt you
That familiar pain in my chest of something trying to burst out…. Does anyone else like feel that?
written by silver_teardrops
Today was a relatively normal day as far as my life is concerned. I went to school, got on my friends bus and went shopping for halloween treats for the little kids that I teach during my work experience. Well the first turning even in the day was mum flipping out at  me coz I didn’t make it to the checkout in time with a jar of curry. this didn’t bother me much it’s typical, however it did cast a shadow over the great day it had been so far. Then I get home to my father watching countless traveller shows on telly.Stupid pathetic **** […]
Sometimes I just do things and don’t realize how fucked up those things are until it’s too late. It’s like something just takes over my mind or body. I have sex with boys that I don’t really like then I get mad at them for calling. I am not a good person. Or I don’t know how to be one. I don’t really know. I always say that I’m not just one of those bitchy girls who plays mind games and fucks around. But I am, that’s exactly what I do. In fact, I’m probably a lot worse than all those girls because the entire […]
I’ve been browsing here for some time now and I have to say each one of your personal stories have always helped me in some way so much obliged I strongly believe that expressing how you feel can assist you in finding a way to continue if it may only be for a few extra moments. Let me first say you can just call me Chance is a name I’ve aquired over the years for all the triumphs I’ve overcome over the past 10 years or so. I’m like everyone else I’ve loved I’ve lost overcome miscarriages with past relationships, […]
Don’t know what the hell I be on about, But from here and there, I belong nowhere….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I don’t want to come back. Chat room is mentally destroying me.. And I don’t even come here much anymore. The Suicide Project is dying out.. And me? Well, I was just one of the many members. If you have taken the time to read this, Thank you. You are probably one of the very few left trying to keep the Suicide Project torch burning. Good luck… People need this place.
But me? Well, People always say.. There is no such thing as a happy ending. I guess this is the end of my story.. :'( It’s been Interesting though, I guess. Met some amazing people..
Orangish, For one. […]
I confuse myself constantly.
Other people confuse me constantly.
The world must therefore be nothing but constant confusion, with only infrequent periods where people manage to convince themselves that they are able to grasp exactly what the hell is actually going on. Some can do it for longer than others. I seem to lack any capacity for that, myself.
So I’ve decided to give up bothering with trying to understand myself, other people, or any other bizarrely convoluted topic such as that, and instead I’ll just stick to simple topics like quantum physics or botany.
I love human beings, but I also hate them, myself included. Fucking vortexes of […]
do you enjoy starting drama? i cant love my family because all they want to do is start drama because its what you thrive on. my father hid me and my sister from the world just so we wouldn’t end up like them and now we have terrible social skills, shes doing better than me though, i cant make friends because when i try to reach out to people they think im creepy or weird. all the people that supposedly love me keep treating me like dirt. i cant find my way and i just dont know what to do anymore but look back on […]
So two weeks ago I almost decided to go through with ending it all. I was in the tub, hot water and all. Instruments neatly set up on the side. Box cutter, scalpel, syringe, needles plenty of options to choose from. At that point I had used all of them to inflict harm upon my body knowing it would not result in my death but instead give me some relief from the hell of my life. Upon deciding which one to choose that would do the job right I remembered I never had the opportunity to use the syringe. It was sterilized considering I stole […]
i dont fucking know anymore. and idont know why. idk why i get up in the morning. idk how i continue with this charade. i dont know how to continue pretending this life is worth living. idk if i will go throu with it but i shure as hell cannot continue. And i dont know if there is reason good for my suffering. Idk if there even needs to be. Idk if that even matters. Idk if any of it even matters. But if theres one thing i do know its that no one else knows either
So catch me if you can motherfuckers, […]
Sometimes, I just can’t believe what  has happened to me. I just can’t. Why? My life is absolute shit and embarrassing. I mean, when you’re depressed, you can talk to someone about it. Well, I can’t with my problem. It is absolutely embarrassing. Here is the one and only time I will talk about my problem.
I am currently in highschool, and I’ve been having halitosis for 4 years. Halitosis is a symptom where you’re paranoid about smelling bad. Worst is, I DO smell bad. AGH, that just hurt.. even saying it. Imagine, everyday, dreading to go to school, dreading to stand next to your crush, […]
I don’t know why I let myself fail to the point that I do. I know I can put more effort into bettering my life but every time I try putting forth any effort I am only met by failure and worthlessness. I am unable to even comply with basic day to day situations sometimes and I need to trudge through it knowing that it is only me myself who is keeping me back. I’m being pushed through a hole of the wrong shape to fit in with everything so extremely fake around me, yet had this been a different world my inferiority would have […]
My Night
I put the cold barrel in my mouth,
To quiet the screams that may come out.
My hands shake when the time nears,
As my eyes cry silent tears.
I can’t help, but think to say,
Will this really be my last day?
I wanted to test fate with a little game…
Russian roulette, now that is a shame.
I sought out a sign to tell me to stay,
To keep on trying until my golden days.
Three out of five loaded, and ready to go
Two left out, now time for the show.
I pulled the trigger, and let out a small yell.
I was sure, right then, I had been sent straight to hell.
As the minutes passed, I opened my eyes,
Life […]
Tired of everything, already on anti-depresants but I’m not depressed I’m tired of it all, just plain tired of living.
I swear if I hear one more person say “God has a plan for you” I will scream!!! I was raised in church and these are the plans he’s had for me I’m screwed. No one on earth listens and I’m more than absolutely sure He doesn’t care either so if that’s where you are coming from, don’t bother.
A woman said to me the other day that I just need to make a choice and stick to it (she meant chosing God) well I’m making my […]
Ok, Let me first tell you, what prompted me to look up this website today, and vent out my frustration . I’ve been having suicidal thoughts for the past 3 years.
Having been a remarkable student all my life, something happened 3 years ago, that all of a sudden, you can even say, overnight, turned me into a loser! Its not a specific incident or anything, but I’d even move over to the occult and say I’ve been struck by bad luck. My performance academically started dripping, my concentration levels started dwindling, nothing that I wanted, even with all my sincerity and hard work, I got. […]
So many nice people here. Sympathetic and caring. Everyone here has obviously gone through their own hell. But does me posting something here affect anything? Honestly… everyone here posts about their problems, then instantly there are comments of encouragement… I honestly don’t need some empty words from someone who doesn’t even know me. All you will do is say “aww thats too bad blah blah blah” then move on to the next life story and say simliar shit. Like my suicide will be your sick source of entertainment for a few minutes. Am I expected to not think about how your attention is divided between […]
once again ive broken to pieces. how pathetic is that? im not suppose to break down. what the hell am i suppose to do? i just want to crawl into a dark hole away from everybody and just stay there. can i do that? no i cant. everytime i hide away i get dragged out and forced to face the fact that my life sucks. yea, sure there are plenty of things i can do to make it better, but it just seems pointless. everytime i try to do something that i want to do or that i think would be fun i get wierd […]
Hi, i’m 15, I’m a girl, and I’ve been through hell. I’m a sophomore, and I know what its like to lose everyone you’ve ever had. My mom had me at 16, and starting at three years old, my mom was dating around a lot, got hip on drugs and alcohol. Both of my parents were VERY bad alcoholics. My mom was dating this guy that beat her, and made me watch, then my sister was born, I was three, taking care of a baby my mom couldn’t take care of.. We got evicted and lived in a car for a week when i was […]
I hd sm1, who tuk care of me. Fr that little time, I ws happy.
But she’s gone, leaving me all alone.
Nd all I am right nw, is scared.
Scared to hell. I miss her. I love her, more than anything in the world, cz only she evr cared to undrstand me. And she knws, she knws hw much i love her, crave fr her touch. Bt its nt gonna happen. M scared, all i want is for her to hold me, cz i m all too broken without her.
I dnt hv ny frnds in real sense to evn talk to about my […]