A few months ago I got a call from a girl named Victoria. She was cussing me out and crying and screaming and when she finally told me what was going on…one of my good friends Debbie Valoy had hung herself from the tree in her backyard. The girl told me it was all my fault because I didn’t talk to her for the past two weeks because I had some really serious things going on with my cousins. Their lives were in danger and I warned her that I may not be on facebook for a while. Next thing you know I’m getting that […]
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Help
My name is Denise.
I am 17 years old.
I am a junior.
This is my story and the events that led me here.
I was born and raised in Texas. Honestly, I’ve been depressed as far back as I can remember. Sure I laughed and played like anyone else as a child, but there was a darkness I could feel consuming me as I grew up. When I progressed into middle school that’s when I began to let the darkness in. I was bullied.  I met girls who cut. And so I started to cut too. It felt good. I cut […]
what do i do? do i give up? do i stay? why am i here? i need help. nobody listens. im so close. im completely ready. im going to end. but when/
your thoughts?
I met God On the edge of town
Where the wind meets the stillness
Where the darkness meets the light
Where the ocean meets the sky
Where the desert meets the rain
Where the earth meets the heavens
On the edge of town I met God
I asked God
Do one thing for me
Send me back in time
Send me to Seattle
Let me go
Find Kurt Cobain
Take away his gun
Take away his bullets
Talk to him
Make him wanna live
Tell him how we love him
Help him see his glory
God Said No
If I sent you back
If you […]
(I’d like to apologize for what I’m writing here is not coherent.)
It is about 01:09 am, and I’m alone in my dorm room.
At the moment, I’m crying. I must say that I’ve been fighting the tears for a long time, and right now, here they are, running down my face.
I’m the invisible one, and for some reason, I don’t mind it at all. The only thing I regret is not having any reliable friend with whom I can talk openly. I’m about to turn 18, I’ve never had any capital-f Friend, and I highly doubt I’ll have any.
I spend most of time surrounded by books […]
How do you actually know if you’re a living with depression or not?? Yeah you read up on it but how do you actually know. Only recently I’ve had thoughts about killing myself again. Had these thoughts in the past but never gone through with it. Like HOLY FK could my life get any worse now? no money, no savings, filed bankruptcy, a car that needs fixing and now it’s being reprocessed, a gf who wants to leave overseas (but really who would blame her for leaving) it’s in her best interest she leaves me cause I’m just nothing wasted space.. Can’t make the right […]
For a while now, I have seriously been considering suicide. I am not bullied or anything, I just feel like I don’t belong here. I don’t think anyone would miss me and I am better off dead. I don’t see a point in living anymore. No one loves me, how could they? I want so bad to be happy, but I just can’t. I still can’t think of a reason why I shouldn’t just end it all. I have considered many ways, from choking myself, starving myself, cutting myself, overdosing on pills, and even stabbing myself. I just can’t do it anymore. Everyday I can […]
I feel so goddamn helpless and hopeless. anxiety, paranoia, apprehension, guilt, fear and pain are my companionship, they seem to never leave my side.
As far as I can remember, the happiest time in my life was kindergarden, I was carefree and enjoyed life, when grade school started the world around me got colder, and gradually, things got worse and worse….. people, other human beings, are the root of my misery. Instead of being the popular kid in kinder garden, I started grade school and had no friends, other kids often treats me with as insignificant. I was socially isolated and had very few friends. other […]
I’m just completely lost. I don’t know if I should end it already. I’ve been put through so much bullshit that I’m completely fed up. I was molested by my dad’s friend which my dad doesn’t know about because I was young and scared that he’d do something to my family cause he claimed he will if I ever told. I still haven’t said anything and it’s been years. I’ve also be bullied by everyone. Even my own family. I’ve always been really into sports and I’m a girl so my parents, sisters, and brother would always call me a boy because of it. Also, […]
I’m supposed to be in the work where I am at practical training right now but I just couldn’t go there, I’m sitting here, crying and sobbing and I feel like I can’t breath. I think I can’t go there today but I don’t know what to say to my teacher and those people in the work, I feel ashemed of myself and I feel like Im good for nothing and I’m just i everyone’s way and causing troubles to them.
I don’t know I’m feeling that everyone thinks I’m just lazy but I really just can’t do those things that normal people can, and it […]
How do you tell your mom you’re depression is coming back? Or that you’re feeling really down again and don’t know what to do? Because I kmow my mom will freak. Help?
This isn’t really something I usually do, I’m more of the “bottle it up” kind of guy, but I really need to get this out and Google led me here as an appropriate place to do so. It’s up to you if you want to read all this, but at least if you do, I have some validation of my efforts. Which I imagine would be nice.
Well… here goes.
I should be happy or satisfied enough really, shouldn’t I?
I mean, I did life right. I left school, got a steady dead end job and got myself a place to live independently. In this […]
I am generally a pretty happy person. But when I am sad, I realize that my whole life feels like it is just full of sadness and pain. I wonder to myself…is that really the way my life is going to be forever? I look back and all I can think is that I am always unhappy. I go around and I generally do a pretty good job of putting a smile on my face and creating an idea in my head that I am happy. But I feel that there is always pain surrounding me. Its terrible, some days I think most days I […]
I don’t know, I’m bored. I slept all day. I have nothing to do. So I guess I’ll tell you my story. I’ve been cutting for 4 years now, it started out as something small. Just one cut, then two cuts, and then before I knew it I was cutting all the way up my arm and on my legs and thighs and my stomach. It’s now an addiction. Wether I’m feeling shitty or not. I need to cut. I want to cut. But I’ve tried suicide multiple times, I’ve chickened out a couple times, I’ve failed a couple times. But I woke up one […]
Lets start here… I have been with my boyfriend for more than 7 months. I know he loves me, he will cry in front of me when i’m mean to him (I’m bipolar) and he does sweet things for me. But here’s the problem… I’m overly jealous and insecure and it gives me really bad anxiety. I’m this way because All my life i’ve been around a mother who goes from boyfriend to boyfriend and would tell me how shitty men are and that they are all the same. Growing up around her made me believe everything she told me. So soon enough i started […]
Full-alert here, if you are going to try to bash me, insult me, or talk me out of this, please leave this thread. I am not asking for your judgement or opinions. You are not me, you have not lived my life, and so you have no right to decide what I should do with it Second warning, this is a very long post. Please bear with me.
Okay, after getting that point across, I was wondering the certain fatality doses for prescription medications. I am trying to garner as much information from people as possible, so if you know any other websites/forums where I won’t […]
Hey everyone. Reading post after post of suicide wishes and sad, dark thoughts takes me back to a place I used to be very familiar with. I can empathize with you and I understand what it’s like to be alone and have no one. It’s a terrible feeling and it usually can’t be expressed with words.. But I would like each and every one of you to just take 2 minutes to try something for me. For you. Close your eyes and let your mind quiet down, it may take a minute but it will if you let it. After it’s quiet think of something, […]
I don’t know what’s triggering my depression, but I want to know. It’s driving me fucking nuts and I want an answer. I’m suffering from bipolar disorder and that can cause it, but WHAT THE HELL GAVE ME THE BIPOLAR DISORDER?! At this point, I don’t know. I’m about two seconds away from having a major anxiety attack mainly because I had a dream about me being happy. I woke up and I wanted to cry. I need help. Like, really. My depression is getting out of control and I want to end my life, but deep down in a dark and secretive side of me, […]
I’ve been through a lot within the past two days. I lost my best friend because of her thinking I was sleeping with her boyfriend and I wasn’t. He was wanting to and she saw his messages on my phone and doesn’t believe me. I recently dyed my hair black and pink and I look scene. Yes, I guess you could call me that, but I don’t want you calling me a “scene emo faggott going through stupid phases. I didn’t realize how bad rumors would spread or start from my friend. Now I’m the new freshmen scene emo ****** who’s an attention whore and […]
i feel like im drowning in my own thoughts. they suck me down further and further and i cant avoid it. i lost a close friend today and dont know if i can get him back. even though i pushed him away. he told the guy i was talking to the stuff i told him about the guy i like. he came to one of my classes today and i told him to leave. he tweeted that he was crying and i physically feel like my heart is breaking. i drown in more thoughts and i dont know what to do. i ruin everything i […]