i’ve thought about suicide since high school. Having dark thoughts, being depressed easily. I’ve experienced being broke and worked my way up again. But still, suicidal thoughts linger on my mind. Maybe im just weak. I’ve attempted twice but failed. I just need to be strong. I know i can do this. No one can help me. Its the only way out.
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1. You should not have to rip yourself into pieces in order to keep others whole; don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm
2. Even the smallest violin plays a sweeter sound than the worlds loudest explosion
3. Everything happens for a reason/everything is happening just as it should
4. Friends can break your heart too
5. Believe in yourself. You can achieve anything you set your mind to
6. Only you can decide your worth, not others ***** Don’t compromise yourself in order to impress someone else
7. Never say no to adventure or you’ll lead a very dull life
8. Remember who’s been there for you from the […]
Hey guys, as the title indicates, this is a random post.
I just watched Sucker Punch (great movie btw) and I was just wondering if any of you have ever considered lobotomizing yourselves. Being free from your higher faculties, the cognitive abilities that people place in such high esteem…have you ever just wanted to be free of all that?
I’ll try to keep this short and to the point…
I just finished high school. I currently live with my father. I’m unemployed, and don’t know where or how to look into anything related to college. I ended HS barely passing with a 2.1 GPA, so universities and whatever are most likely out of the question (for anyone who does not understand GPAs, just assume that I barely graduated, the minimum par being 2.0).
Lately, I’ve been getting high or drunk every day since June, basically, after I moved out of my mom’s place just after finishig school. For all intents and purposes, moving back in with […]
I will tell you some of my personal story for those who care to know. So ever since I started elementary school, I wasn’t normal, I didn’t talk to anyone, I was shy, my family thought I was autistic because of mu extreme shyness. I didn’t make my first friend until the second grade. Most of my early school days are a blur and I don’t really remember, so. I started smoking weed in 6th grade, and that became the love of my life for the next 6 or seven years. When I was at school all I could think about was going home and […]
I am just sick of people and I feel that I am not able to make friends again and there is no friends in my life only one friend since high school and the rest doesn’t return my calls and we gather once a year I know that every body has a busy life but I am sick of being alone with my family
The title says it all. I graduated high school today, and I have never been this suicidal in my entire life. I’m not going to college or anything, so I feel like it’s just my time to go. I said goodbye to everyone, so it’s okay if I die now. Nobody there really liked me much, anyway. To be honest, I’m surprised I made it this far. I didn’t think I’d make it to graduation, but I did. Now I don’t really have anything left to live for. It’s almost sad, I used to have such big dreams and high hopes, but I don’t know […]
I wants to be somewhat like a psychopath. Like having superficial charm, no empathy or feelings towards others in general, lack of remorse and guilt, highly manipulative , Lack of ralistic, long term goals, denial of responsibility, carelessness, high confidence, no fear and anxiety, grandiose sense of worth.
Psychopaths are destructive and antisocial but they are happy. Maybe I could be happy or less depressed if I had some psychopath traits.
CPS came in because one of my teachers called them about me cutting and doing drugs. They are now forcing me to go see a Psychiatrist and go to group with other girls that are in high school. If I don’t go, they will remove me from my mom since I have been cutting for so long. But honestly I don’t need this. I am fine with cutting and doing drugs. That’s how I cope and that’s what I’m good at. I don’t want to change. That is what makes me. ME. Not saying I don’t have emotional problems cause I’m sure we all do, […]
I’m coming to my last days of high school and the past week has been hell. It’s had such an effect on me knowing that I won’t ever be there again. It’s so weird, and kinda unsettling.
I’ve also realised how lonely I am. Everyone has their groups and their best friends but I just float around. Gets on with most people but just keeps under the radar.
That also brings up another point. Everyone on here seems to know someone and they know all their stuff and its so nice that people support each other here. I think I’m asking if someone would like to be my […]
When I was a freshman in high school. I thought graduating would be some type of exciting, overly overwhelming, and a burst of happiness moment. Well looks like I was wrong again, It’s the week of my graduation, my depression is back again, I’m not stable whatsoever financially or emotionally, my relationship w/ my boyfriend is most likely going to crumble within 2 months or so, I’m just very unhappy. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Now I’m here. Typing this bullshit. Fuck.
I’m 31 years old, no kids, been engaged twice which failed. I’ve been cheated on, lied to, and the last girl I dated decided she rather go back to being a lesbian. So usually I just hide behind Apathy and drugs. I only have a high school education, because I lack effort to do anything more. I’ve always been more of a workhorse.
Anyway…
It’s pretty awesome starting off your week after Memorial Day by losing your car. Apparently the car place felt as if they couldn’t wait till this Friday to let me make a payment, and didn’t tell me they would wait.. so they towed […]
I just realized that the only thing that took my sadness away are drugs or alkohol. I guess now for almost 3 years there was barely a day I was completely sober. Now that I am I don’t feel any difference to when I wasn’t taking anything. Well maybe I realized it earlier. I did try to do breaks to not be “high” every day but I couldn’t take it somehow. I guess I’m an addict… And this really shocks me I never expected to get addicted to anything. May sound stupid but that’s how you get addicted you close your eyes and just go […]
Like so many of the posts I read here, I simply don’t know what I hope to get out of wrighting this. Maybe it’s the knowing that unlike your faded and tear staind journal… Someone will see this. Some one might understand. Maybe it’s just satisfying the attention craving victim looking for emotional handouts… Who gives a shit
Unlike so many fellow souls spilling thier hearts out for the faceless masses to see I feel detached from the depression handbook. Aside from mild childhood depression and a exepionaly controling mother I’ve had it ok. Made the journey through highschool with honors and friends. Needed to shape […]
Today my childhood best friend graduated from high school. She is a year older than me and she moved away a few years ago so we lost touch. I’m really happy and proud of her accomplishment. I can’t help but feel like a complete failure though. I’m never going to graduate or accomplish anything. I have no future or dreams anymore.
So today I attended my sibling’s graduation ceremony and, for some reason, the thought of my future has never seemed to be… true. Whenever I imagine myself after high school, I literally cannot see myself being a college student, or living on my own, or having job, or even being homeless. It’s all blank. It makes me think that I will probably have gone through with my plans before high school even finishes. As I was thinking this during my sibling’s graduation, I looked up to the gloomy sky and thought, “Today is a beautiful day to die.”
I don’t want to get into who I am or why I’m doing what I’m doing. I am going to kill myself tonight. I have checked into a hotel room and it is on the 11th floor. I’m looking down and it is high, I’m sure high enough to kill myself, but I have no faith in my mortality so I don’t know if jumping from this height would be enough. I am however going to land on my back, with my head tilting down so the brain stem is completly shattered. I also have been trying to get a gun for the last couple […]
ever since high school ive always dreamt of having a girlfirend and doing all the romantic stuff why dint god make the SPECIAL one for me
It’s interesting how when you have severe depression, regret is your constant companion. I remember when my depression was just mild. Regret was there, but it was fleeting. There were moments when it was actually gone.
These days, hopefully my final days, regret is there with me every step of the way. If only I had done this. If only I had said that. If only things would have happened this way or that way.
One of my recurring regrets is that she never got to see me at my best. Oh how I wish that she could see me now. Touch me. Hold me. […]
after my first post i realised that as much as i hate talking about what bothers me, i have to… so here goes… this is the reason why i have lost my way, my happiness and my self..
All through high school my parents fought, as much or maybe more than every married couple does, but after a while my dads drinking had gotten worse by the day, my parents stopped sleeping in the same room, they stopped having conversations ( apart from the usual ‘whose gonna pay the bills’ argument), and we stopped being a family.
When i started university and they assumed i was now […]