Tag:

hold

I hate coming here…

by RealTalk30 6/10/2015

written by RealTalk30

But it’s the only place I can say what’s really on my mind.

I’ve lost so much.. more like thrown my life away.
Giving myself fake reasons to keep going. Faking every step forward, but what I’ve really been doing is setting myself up to end my life. Subconsciously tying loose ends so that I may relieve myself from this pain. So that there’s nothing left to hold on to.
I use to come here at a time when I should have been happy..but the fact is that I came here cause I’m most certainly not happy. Things have only gotten worse, and now I try […]

6/10/2015 7 comments

I’m afraid I’ll disappear.

by Unremembered 6/8/2015

written by Unremembered

I’m starting to have memory issues.

Sometimes, I forget I did simple things like brush my teeth or take a shower. After exams, I sometimes don’t remember anything about what the exam was about, and…

I’m scared. I’m afraid I’ll disappear. Fade out. Because if I forget everything about myself, am I still myself? Or am I just some empty shell, waiting to drop dead? A shadow? Because you know what happens to a shadow when it’s put in bright light, right? It disappears.

I don’t personally believe in God. Simply because if He was really all-loving and all-powerful, would He really leave us with things like misery, […]

6/8/2015 2 comments

A common question

by Rotted_Flesh 6/4/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

I think we all ask ourselves is what if we just hold on one more day, one more week, etc. It’s that natural survival question we all ask ourselves, and it’s probably while we are all still here today. I know it’s why I am. Those lonely nights I had dozens of bottles of stockpiled medications sitting right near my bedside, those nights I had access to firearms, those nights where I could’ve jumped off a tall building. I’m still here because I still have that survival instinct asking me what if? What if things get better one day? I know it’s not going to […]

6/4/2015 0 comment

Expiration Date

by Serenity652015 6/2/2015

written by Serenity652015

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Godsmack-Serenity-4428060HvDy.mp3

I have picked a date…a song to play on repeat…a saying to hold in my hand…I have detailed instructions for after my expiration date…no need for I love yous…as all I feel is hate…I cut myself daily to see if I still feel…I want this pain to end…I don’t want your medicine…I don’t want your pills…they only work for a little while…while these thoughts continue to infiltrate my head. I just want Serenity.

6/2/2015 0 comment

sorry

by silversurfer 6/2/2015

written by silversurfer

I like to think i do more good than harm.

When you feel like your trying so hard to hold it together, sometimes you just give up.

I haven’t self harmed in a long while.

Maybe I turned that aggression outwards instead.

We all have bad days. They get better.

not much better.

but better every day.

6/2/2015 1 comment

by Incorporeal_soul 6/2/2015

written by Incorporeal_soul

Im never writing to myself, its always been a letter to the universe, if They could hear my thoughts. to you? which you may never receive ,if only by cause. or my final notice,which I never really know what I would say. But I know now understanding is never really quite enough, sure they understand,does this mean I’m not alone then why is it so cold in this heart, I call home. if it’s worth trying. ?I know it’s not enough which I why I should stop writing to you. It’s hopeless, Im hopeless. I don’t wanna be the reason, I don’t wanna cry. cause […]

6/2/2015 1 comment

Let me die

by disgusting 5/28/2015

written by disgusting

If only I had a gun, I could have pulled the trigger already. That’s how much it hurts to know I can never be loved and will never get to hold or kiss someone who has ahold of my heart. I want to die now.

5/28/2015 4 comments

by Freeman 5/27/2015

written by Freeman

I never thought I’d consider suicide. I always thought that no matter how hard things got I would hold strong. I used to laugh and think, “Suicide is only for the weak.” However, I was wrong. I’ve kept all my past bottled up for years that I’ve begun breaking down as I recall memories I thought I had buried away. Maybe I’ve been depressed my whole life but never realized it…Now I can’t help but think that if I’m gone no one will have to worry about a useless waste of space like me. I can only laugh bitterly at the sad state I’ve ended […]

5/27/2015 11 comments

I hope you’re happier now L.

by alonelybird 5/14/2015

written by alonelybird

I wanna make you
Feel less blue
Because maybe then I wouldn’t feel that way too
I wanna hold you tight
Tell you it’ll be alright
Coz we’re together
Now and forever

That’s a poem I writ for my girlfriend when we were still going out(we’re broken up now though). I was too negative for her so she left.

5/14/2015 3 comments

Why do I even bother

by Fiddles 5/12/2015

written by Fiddles

The girl of my dreams doesn’t want anything to do with me, All I want is to hold her hand and see her smile when I tell her i love her, just want to spend my life with someone as perfect as her but no. Lots of other shit going on in my life.

Ive got two days off of school to go to counselling to stop me from killing myself.. Oh how ironic it would be.

Puts my mind at ease when there is a easy way out.

5/12/2015 2 comments

help me my love

by sadsadist 5/4/2015

written by sadsadist

I wish she could tell me that I can die id die a million deaths for her that statement would be met quickly with my death then she could go on with her horrible boyfriend and have a family I’d stop hurting and annoying people my thoughts and actions are unforgivable even if she left him my future with her wouldn’t be good enough I’d hold her back all I ever wanted in my life was the marines to die in battle she changed that but I’m not certified for shit I have no intention going to college I’ll just hold her back she deserves […]

5/4/2015 3 comments

I’m happy because I had a nightmare

by comomequieranllamar 5/4/2015

written by comomequieranllamar

Hard to understand? Well it was the first one in a year that didn’t involve suicide in any form.
I dreamt that I was pregnant and the baby was very ill and could not survive. It’s because of something I saw yesterday on Facebook… and I woke up with a horrible feeling… but… the fact that is the first dream without suicides since my stepfather killed himself is kind of good. And also… by writing this I’m realizing that I do want to have a child. Not now, of course, but… it is a true desire. Maybe that’s something to hold on for…

PS: I’m sorry […]

5/4/2015 2 comments

F-this

by disgusting 5/3/2015

written by disgusting

I’m pushing 40 and have never gotten to just hold someone, or had a real romantic relationship. I’m too ugly and disfigured for anyone to get close to. I’ve f–cking had it.

5/3/2015 4 comments

Hopefully Goodbye

by Anon313131 4/26/2015

written by Anon313131

I’ve fought so hard and I just can’t fight anymore. The pain has too strong a hold of me and tonight I hope to blow my brains out and be released from its grasp. I will post an update should I be unsuccessful. Good night and hopefully goodbye everyone.

4/26/2015 2 comments

It was suppose to be me

by lost_soul 4/15/2015

written by lost_soul

My classmate killed himself last week and this morning was his funeral. Many of our professors and classmates attended, specifically from our year. Some were saying he shot himself, others were saying he hanged, but it doesn’t matter since he succeeded. The thing about him is that he was the life of the party and was the popular one in school; he was not the one expected to pass away. Whereas here I am, the loner, and I was planning on being the one to die in our year. I would not be as much of a loss to anyone. If I knew he was […]

4/15/2015 0 comment

Sweet Moments Of Madness

by dwink 4/8/2015

written by dwink

Feeling alone again, far beyond the feelings of yesterday

Insanity creeping in gently like a swift blowing wind

Looking for ways to lessen the pain without needles in veins

“Stay sane,” Is what I tell the voices in my head.

Little whispers, “Embrace the pain.”

I think, “Cutting again?” no I’ll refrain

There should be a better way, there always is

Maybe a stare back from the mirror, a slight admiration of self

Maybe the girl across the street a little kiss

Maybe an inspiration from the deceased

As the thoughts rang, it came.

Like an answered prayer

A thought, a pen and paper

I wrote it as I felt it I described it like a painter

I felt […]

4/8/2015 0 comment

In the end the heart gives out

by dwink 3/25/2015

written by dwink

Mama said to hold on to the most basic emotion, love

Love, failed me over and over as I bled from all the cuts,

Cuts, done by unseen sharps as she again let me down,

Down, further in hole than the last one,

I can not be undone, but I am broken,

And none see those hopeless moments

They see the iron-will in me and its all false

In the end it shows, they see as I rot

Can’t hold on for long, I tried

Play the song “When I’m gone” when I’m gone

3/25/2015 5 comments

Rejection

by dwink 3/9/2015

written by dwink

I’m not much of a sharer and I’ll probably never share with someone one on one but I feel death haunts me now daily and no one sees how depressed and suicidal I’m getting because I have a way of putting on a mask at the time and look the happiest and I held on to chancr of relationships and love but the girls I’ve loved, liked or simply pursued have the same conclusion harsh rejection. Jay just made me feel like shit and now the voices say I should jump the bridge or let my veins bleed out or buy a nine and go […]

3/9/2015 0 comment

I’m alright

by helenabeat 2/6/2015

written by helenabeat

I just, today I took a sip of something poisoned but I’ll hold on tight. I’m coming down hard and my joints are all stuck.

2/6/2015 3 comments

Days go by.

by Kitsune5567 1/20/2015

written by Kitsune5567

The railing looked so easy to smash my car is heaver then it can hold. These were the thoughts traveling through my head today as I skipped college classes to “run away fro my feelings” . This morning I found out my ex boyfriend already has a new boyfriend. he is thin pretty and motivated. I am none of these. I loved him for the two years we had so deeply only to be tossed asside when out of comfort with him i gained weight and just relaxed. He wanted to break up so badly but he wouldnt be “the bad guy” he would sit […]

1/20/2015 1 comment

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