I feel desolate. My mind has lost all of the positive light it had gained within the past 2 weeks. Well, I’m here again, at the same place I was a few years ago. I’m supposedly back on the right path, doing everything right or so they say. I’m constantly busy, tired, and thoroughly occupied each day. Between work, school, and training for my next racing season, you’d think there wouldn’t be any time for my depression to suffocate me, right? Wrong. I’ve been suffering so badly lately and I’m sure it’s only going to get worse as the holidays are circling around me. I […]
My best friend has already decided she wants to die. she already has a plan, and she plans to do it very soon. probably over thanksgiving break (but i really really really hope not!!) i have told her so many times, and in so many ways that i want her to stay, and that she can get better, and things WILL get better if she lets them. but she has decided that she doesnt want to get better, she doesnt want things to get better, she just wants her easy way out of it. which i do understand.. i suffer with these problems myself, i […]
My whole life I’ve been told that I was smart. Smart enough to do anything I wanted. I would be the one in the family to go the furthest and make everyone proud. Well, here I am, about to fail my first class in grad school. There’s no way out of it now, save death. The final is Monday, and I know nothing. Every time I try to study I look blankly at the slides for about a half hour, then cry for an hour, then I’m so exhausted all I want to do is take a shower and go to sleep. Everywhere I turn […]
I’m so angry! Everyday I go to school and I only get humiliated by my classmates. At PE(and other classes) no one wants me as a partner. When I stand close to them they go further away from me and when they have no choice left but to choose me because there is no one left anymore they say ‘Not that one’ or ‘Tsk’ and sometimes they even yell at me if I do something wrong by mistake. I don’t get it. WHY ME? I don’t smell bad and I shower everyday. I’ve done nothing wrong with them to be treated this way.
Everytime they do […]
Maybe I need to live in hell on earth before I can ascend into heaven? I feel as though my life on earth is just a plain hell. I walk, aimlessly, seeking some type of purpose. It never seems to be attainable.
I think out of my whole life, i was only happy for a year. After that, I never found that kind of joy again or magic so to speak. I know compared to others, I should be grateful for what I do have. I just cannot seem to be uplifted.
I look at myself and just feel disgust. Maybe my life is an evil joke […]
Hey all,
I know this forum isn’t the best place for this post, but I just wanted to talk to someone and tell someone how I feel.
It was a pretty busy day for me. I talked a lot to other people ( 2 persons). But when I came home today I felt so down and depressed. I don’t know why, but somehow I lost interest in life. Every second day I feel so depressed for no particular reason. I don’t think I am depressed or suffer from an other brain illness, its just that I put my life in a state where I disconnected absolutely from […]
I was home schooled till i was 12, and my father left my mom when i was 8 (i used to see him weekends, then holidays, now i rarely see or talk to him). which is what i can only assume caused me to be so fucked up. once i got to highschool, my first semester i got expelled for threatening a kid with a knife for picking on me. which caused me to lose my only close friend.. after switching schools i was a loner for the most part, i had a group of friends i hung out with, but i was that one […]
Hi,
I dont really know why I am on here, writing this? I guess, I would just like some advice. I am 18 and still living at home, although I have been accepted to a uni course which will start in September. I have just got to complete my last alevel exams. The results dont matter as my offer is unconditional. On the outside my life is perfect. I am 18, I am going to uni to study equine science, a course that I want to do. I have recently brought myself a horse, my parents have enough money to have sent me to private school.
Reality? […]
again, I am in this deep hole. I am feeling very lonely here 🙁 All those people who are around me over the day, no one to talk to and if I try to start a talk with someone they just leave me alone 🙁 I have holidays next week and they will be like hell again. A whole week where no one in my age talks to me. I am just so tired of searching for friends, unfortunately I am also so tired of being alone. I hate everything at the moment. I hate how I fail at everything I do. I hate myself […]
I am starting to feel like I am being punished for being alive, I wasn’t truly meant to exist anyway since I was unplanned. I can’t have one good thing happen and if something does, I pay for it later on. I have been through so much in my life, was mentally and physically abused by my dad, had to watch it happen to my mom who is disabled, been into women’s shelters, was raised in a cult like religion which left me without friends, social activities was highly restricted, no help from them with what was going on at home since they said in […]
Things going better and worst at the same time… I solved some of my problems, but some of them seems won’t change for a long time… My brother lost all control and using psychological violence against me. Its so hard to handle. I do everything for the familly.. But he keeps saying i am nothing, stupid *****, dirty, dumb idiot and so on.. He even keep saying that when my friends hear.
So sad.. Once, he was an idol for me. Now, i want to delete him from my life totally. Good that mother is dead and […]
My name is Jessica. I am 13 years old and I’m a very sad person. I’ve hurt loved ones, been hurt, and been abandon by the only people I’ve trusted.
When I was 6, my parents split up. It was a very hard time for my brother and I. He was only 8. I don’t really remember much, just one day I came home from school and my father told me that if he and my mom got into one more fight, he was leaving us. The following day, he kept his word. They worked out custody and all that, and I lived with my mom […]
What kind of vows are out there aside from marriage vows?
I understand that there are common-law marriages wherein a couple lives together for a certain time and are then deemed married although they’d never taken any legal action to certify the marriage.
I understand that there can be a vow between any two people or any number of people(e.g. I vow to do…)
So, what makes one vow stronger or more acceptable than the others?
A friend of mine recently argued to me that a breakup that I’d gone through could not compare to the troubles(a temporary separation) in his marriage. He went on to list everything he’d […]
It’s he evening, and the day has finally started to catch up to me. A number of chance events have lead me to this.. Now I guess I finally have to suck it up.
Today, after being out of school since the holidays, and after a previous attempt at a meeting (which ended horribly with me ‘moving’ my principal out of my way), I was brought to another shitty, high school meeting. Yes, the police were invited this time.
So apparently a “warning sign” is writing “black poetry”. Their words. Not mine. There goes my expression..
They also mentioned about how I’ve added posts to here from school.. […]
after that last post, it hit me like a broad seeing red; my entire life is an act. No wonder I’m so tired. The minute I leave my apartment, I’m weighed down by the way I have to be to get ahead, to get by, to not be harassed etc etc. I guess in a sense we all do it, but everything I say is a farce. I don’t celebrate holidays anymore, I dropped all superstitions, minimized/simplified my diet; I’m trying to live the way an evolved human might. The world around me doesn’t make sense and I worry about who I’m to become, […]
I can’t begin to explain how tired I am of everything. Â Tired of being a failure, tired of the loneliness, tired of feeling like an alien that doesn’t belong anywhere, tired of not having any money, tired of putting on a brave face, tired of my shitty family, tired of having “trusted” friends stabbing me in the back, tired of hurting, tired of being hurt, tired of the sadness, tired of missing the only man I ever loved, tired of having everything go wrong, tired of the holidays … most of all, I’m tired of living.
I know people keep saying that tomorrow is the start […]
Ya know, I have had many, many, many, suicides this past month or so. Three. They all never showed any signs or anything and of course with the subject coming up everywhere i look now that this has happened it has reopened my deep feelings of wanting to do it however i stuck in there because it was the holidays.
Today i found out my parents are getting divorced. out of the whole year it had to be this month with all my friends’ suicides. like seriously. this is tearing me apart but i put on a brave face and listen to both of them […]
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