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home

by deerdezz 9/23/2015

written by deerdezz

Im back home and instantly i regret not downing half a month’s of sereoquel for the drive back home. Hell even if it didnt kill me im sure it would help satiate the voices that keep bothering me about harmful ideation.

My psych doc wants to increase it but i told him it would hinder me driving, honestly if he was so quick to want to i shouldve just let him. I feel like im doomed for the med life to feel comfortably numb and not unexpectedly lash out due to the wierd messages my brain thinks its receiving. Which is safe for everyone but […]

9/23/2015 2 comments

3 minutes

by blackrose5 9/23/2015

written by blackrose5

It’s been 3 minutes since I walked through the front door and I’m in tears.

i knew I should’ve stayed outside, it took me a while to convince myself to come inside anyways.

First minute:

I walked through the door and the second I do my dad tell me to hurry up and put my backpack down and go see him.

second minute:

i went to go see my dad and he said he has stuff for me to do, I told him he has to hurry because i have a lot of homework tonight and he automatically got mad at me and started yelling at me saying I’m selfish […]

9/23/2015 1 comment

My Parents Hurt Me Mentally

by GerbzBaby 9/20/2015

written by GerbzBaby

I remember my recent birthday, it was horrible. My mom, and my dad kicked me to the dirt and left me to cry my eyes out in my bathroom because I went to a friends house that day (yes I did tell them). My dad smiled to me and said “happy fucking birthday”. How those words hurt me so much. And to this day I still don’t know what I did wrong. So much yelling and arguing, but for what? I don’t even know..

I also remember when I was supposed to go to a amusement park with some of my friends, but I got stressed […]

9/20/2015 1 comment

I told him

by What'swrongwithme 9/20/2015

written by What'swrongwithme

so I told the guy who likes me about my depression and that I cut and u want to kill myself so he told me he’s suicidal and cuts he also said that he’s psychopath because he’s though of running away from home and being a serial killer he said he has anger problems so his problems are worst then mine he’s been through a lot of things and I feel selfish for feeling like this I want to help him but how and can you guys give me some advice about all this

9/20/2015 11 comments

almost time

by whoaminow22 9/20/2015

written by whoaminow22

my life has no hope. I plan on commuting suicide very soon. I am going to take all of my 30 200 mg seriquil and then sit on my car while it is running in the garage. Of the drugs don’t kill me hopefully the carbon monoxide will. My only fears are hurting my son and my mom. My son will be 3 in October, so he wont really understand. I know that my dad and my step mom will adopt him. They have asked about it before and I am still living. I’m 23, I suffer from extreme depression and social phobia. I can’t […]

9/20/2015 8 comments

Feeling empty and dead inside…

by wndozh8er 9/17/2015

written by wndozh8er

you know, I spoke very prematurely when I came out of the psyche ward. In hindsight, all it did was trigger my desire to make friends. Once they all rejected me, it brought out my Borderline Personality Disorder (which was what I was diagnosed with in the ward). I have attachment and rejection issues. What a load of garbage. I wish they would have just sent me home the next day after my suicide attempt. I wasn’t suicidal a day after my attempt and I’m not suicidal now. If I would have just went home instead of going to the psyche ward, I’d be just […]

9/17/2015 4 comments

I wanted out

by BlondeWig 9/16/2015

written by BlondeWig

The day I attempted, I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn’t care who was hurt and who would be a complete mess if I actually did die. I wanted out. For weeks before I was under so much stress from my mother. Everything was always my fault. Everything. The night before I attempted, I stayed out til 4 am with my boyfriend having one of the best nights in my life. When I finally came home, with 1% on my phone battery, I was locked out. She locked me outside in the downpour thunderstorm, frozen cold.

I managed to get my phone one long enough to […]

9/16/2015 7 comments

Ranting

by lostwander 9/16/2015

written by lostwander

Its my day off. I woke up too early. I cried in bed for probably an hour. No shame in lying about that. I prayed, and I cried some more. I actually made myself breakfast today. But it happened to be in the after noon when I ate it. So I guess I can consider that brunch. I ate in bed… And have been there all day. It’s the place I feel most comfortable.

I feel very numb today. I feel as if I have given up the hope I was holding onto so dearly. Why? I don’t know. Nothing has changed. I tried to cheer […]

9/16/2015 10 comments

little faith

by onlyoption 9/15/2015

written by onlyoption

Last night I prayed; I prayed for forgiveness then I prayed for help, and by the end I was praying to go home, begging the Lord to just let me die. If I alone do not have the strength to end my life my only hope is Gods’ mercy. I’m sure faith shouldn’t be like this…

9/15/2015 8 comments

I just want to be free

by AA2I2 9/12/2015

written by AA2I2

I feel like I’m withering away.

Rotting from the inside out.

My body breaking down and I’m going into shock.

I can’t feel anything anymore.

There is no life left in me.

Not sure why my heart is still beating and my eyes still seeing, my fingers still touching, and my mind just wandering.

Around in circle until I can’t remember who I am.

I’ve forgotten.

Or had I ever really known?

It takes courage to take your own life.

To let yourself drift into nothingness.

Into the unknown.

To leave your family, your home, this life.

But this home is no longer a home.

It […]

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9/12/2015 0 comment

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Where Do I Even Go?

by chelle428 9/11/2015

written by chelle428

Recently, I had to move back home to my parents. Three years ago it was just my parents, my little sister and me. My sister and I both had our own room. Then my older sister and her two children moved in, we only live in a three bedroom townhouse. My older sister got her own room because she had to share it with her two kids. My younger sister got her own room because she refused to share a room and my parents wouldn’t make her. So I was forced out of my room and I had to sleep on the living couch/ floor […]

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9/11/2015 14 comments

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I’m that different

by justanothergirl09 9/10/2015

written by justanothergirl09

It’s hard to stay alive when you have nothing to live for. When the person you loved the most left and now you have no one by your side. You want to have a chance but you’re scared it won’t work. You’re scared to let go and that’s when you start to build walls around you; to protect yourself from others. You can never be the same again and it’s hard. Hard knowing that the person you were back then won’t come back.

Am I okay? I don’t know. I feel lost and alone. I have people who love me but they could never understand what […]

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9/10/2015 1 comment

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boom

by neptune 9/3/2015

written by neptune

honestly i’m just so fucking tired of everything.

i’ve gone past the stage of feeling depressed, to the feeling empty and numb inside. everyday, i’m walking around like a zombie, my mind blank and not really listening to anything, yet on the outer side, i seem to be laughing and socialising. and it wows me just how much a smile can hide. haha.

what future do i have in life? everyday, it’s just the same thing over and over again, if you’re a student, going to school, coming back home, occasional trips out with your friends, if you’re a working adult, going to work, coming back home, […]

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9/3/2015 3 comments

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What is wrong with me?

by Heiwana 9/2/2015

written by Heiwana

In the last couple days I am always crying, and most of the time for no reason and I can’t stop. I cry in bed, I laid down in floor and cry, I cry in front of the pc, at the window, while walking like a zombie in bedroom. And then I stop crying and I am without feelings, just there, quiet and empty. And sometimes when I cry I go from “I am going to kill myself right now” to “What? I want to live” to “I hate this universe!!” in a matter of seconds and several times in a row. Even the smallest […]

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9/2/2015 1 comment

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Sending love to you all

by geekinthepink 9/1/2015

written by geekinthepink

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
And know in your belly
You’re never alone

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You’re never alone

Never alone
Never alone
I’ll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn’t goodbye
My love will follow you, stay with you
Baby, you’re never […]

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9/1/2015 6 comments

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It never lasts.

by Bri 8/30/2015

written by Bri

I just returned home from a friend’s house. I had an amazing weekend, it was the first one in a while…

So, I’ll get to the point of why I’m here, because honestly if I had just only had a great weekend no offense but I wouldn’t be here- not on this site.

I walk through the door, after just having locked my car and everything and coming inside, and my sister in law is already talking about me to my brother. She seen me come inside, she knew I was there.

“She snapped at Brook” my brother asked how she knew if I did because I just […]

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8/30/2015 7 comments

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Dear Devon,

by Delisnak 8/30/2015

written by Delisnak

I miss you but I must let you go. I loved you but i’ve found someone who is fixing my heart. When I see you in the hallways it takes all my strenth to not break down and cry. You seem okay, smiling and laughing. actually, You seem happier now that im gone but thats all I wanted for you. to be happy. I could never give you happiness all i cause is sadness and sorrow. You plead and beg for me not to leave you but I hear none of it as I turn around and walk away. I hear your crys […]

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8/30/2015 1 comment

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If You Knew- Joel Faviere

by Delisnak 8/29/2015

written by Delisnak

They think you’re crazy,
they think you’re mad.

They call you stupid,worthless,
tell you you’re not worth it.

Now you’re walking back,
to a place you call home,
but you feel so alone.

The same hurtful hits,
it’s your darker place.
In your virgin ears,
the remarks they make.

And if they knew, if they really knew
all of those things.
That you do in your room,
to hide the pain.

I bet their minds would change.
I’ll bet their minds would change.

They’d change,if they knew the pain.

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8/29/2015 1 comment

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happiness is against me

by theex-hopefullpessimist 8/29/2015

written by theex-hopefullpessimist

This year has probably been the worst year of my life.
I have suffered from anxiety since i was little, and i dont remember a time without it.
however, disregarding that, i feel like no matter how much i try to be happy, happiness turns against me, or life or the universe.
the beginning of this year was great, i had great friends, a loving boy friend, a loving family.
then after coming back from a (what i though was a) perfect holiday with my then boyfriend in june everything just turnt to crap, it has been a downward spiral.
My grandad fell ill and […]

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8/29/2015 1 comment

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First Week On Sertraline

by Lovebug4142 8/27/2015

written by Lovebug4142

So my Nurse Practitioner prescribed me Sertraline for anxiety and depression. It has been making me feel worse! In the morning I am at school, and I am really jumpy and as one of the teachers says “wiggly” and then after lunch I’m really down, all I can think about is going home and hurting myself . Mostly I just think about getting a knife and cutting my face.

Today I feel sick, my stomach hurts and I feel like I gotta throw up. Ugh I hate these meds. First week of my Senior year of high school and my emotions are all over the place.

Has […]

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8/27/2015 1 comment

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