Been feeling sorry for my self all day after taking more then I should have of my anti depressants to make me sleep on impulse hoping to knock me out all day but woke up mid day which sucked no it wasn’t an attempt how’s everyone else coping today
Tag:
hoping
All my life i have spent years hoping that things would turn out alright for once but it seems no matter what i do i always can’t get things right. I just don’t know where i belong in this world I’m not sure if i ave ever really belonged anywhere. sometimes i really just wish i wasn’t such a fuck up, that things went right for once.
Why dose life suck so much I swear I’m ready to die just need the courage to call it a day it feels like iv lived a whole life time at 26 my mind feels so old I guess like an old person just counting down the days to die iv had enough I’m tired of fighting im physically mentally and emotionally drained The life has literally been sucked out of me I’m just a walking shel just going though the day hoping a tragic accident will happen to me it’s a shame the pills ain’t how they used to be
Promises they’re broke before they’re made or I’ve made a lot of mistakes (in my mind)
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
It may just be the caffine crash talking but i feel like shit. There is a hefty amount of optimism in my mind about he future. But i have doubts and i dont have the energy to do all I’d like to do. Also that pesky anxiety though the aforementioned(in another post) ashwaghanda is helping. I pray. I didn’t always but i pray a lot nowadays. Even if it just in my mind it helps. Depression is just a *****. I think of death and life evenly now. It’s not a battle more of a friendly debate between respected rivals. I’m just hoping that my […]
I don’t know why I keep fighting through this shithole called life. Every force, being, and power is pushing against me, hoping to drive my head further into the darkness. The worst part is I am losing. I have to reason to push through to the invisible light at the end of hell; I have lost the traction that helped move my feet forward. I cannot do this anymore. It really is easier to let go of everything, even including yourself.
Yes, it’s true.
I’m Jealous. Very jealous.
I’ve never been more jealous in my life.
And it hurts. And it’s dark.
It’s darker than black hole. Darker than satan’s soul.
I am jealous of the ones who get to die.
The ones who get to leave this place. This awful pace.
The ones who get to sleep soundly forever, unbothered by this evil called life.
I want to die. But I can’t die.
I wish I had no one to disappoint.
No one to hurt.
But there’s too many.
I want to end my pain not pass it on.
So I sit here waiting.
Hoping to […]
I never understood how meaningful those words actually are. I never understood how much they meant to me until someone showed me they cared. In my mind they were just something that was said to someone to expand on their relationship with someone.
I learned it’s hard for me to love others. My two main friends, when they’re sad will text in a group text, and say I love you. The one who didn’t say it will always respond back the same, but I never answer. They’ve never brought up anything about me answering it. So I don’t know if they think something’s wrong with […]
I had a very stressed week this week. With everything going on its made me feel more depressed than ever. I was hoping today would be different. My friend and I kind of planned on meeting up after work a few hours ago, but after I got a message saying he couldn’t stay. He had left for his other friends. My heart literally shattered when I read the message (and what made it worse is my feelings I have for him..). I could not believe it. I thought hanging out with him would raise my spirits, make me feel so much better. But no. He […]
Six months ago I had everything…a great paying job and a girlfriend of six years that I think adored me and I adored her. Depression then reared its head. I took absences from work to try and deal with it and then in July got fired. I haven’t been able to find a job since. This week my girlfriend and I broke up. It had been strained for a bit but kept hoping we could work through it. Now I’m about to end up on the street due to not having money. I’m still working on my plan but really liking this website. I felt […]
So many of my “friends” (i.e. people that I know) have told me that I need to find something that makes me want to live. So I thought and I thought and I thought, and I came up with the fact that books….I can live for books. There are so many books that I can spend my time reading. I’ll never run out of books to read.
So once I figured this out, I started going to the library and checking out 20 and 30 books to read at a time. I’ve begun to read all of the time, spending whole days laid up in bed […]
There are so many people suffering, So many people on the verge of death. They wake up every morning hoping their fate will change, praying for a miracle. Every night they dream of being free from their condition and living a full happy life.
And then here I am, a person with a healthy life, with my whole life ahead of me. Healthy and young I have so much to live for, but every day I wake up and hope my fate will change, I pray for tragedy. Every night I dream of being free from this condition called life.
Why cant we switch. Why I can I […]
i’ve been feeling worthless. been going through a break down every night for the past week. been googling a “peaceful way” to leave this planet with no avail. been eating bags and bags of candy because im a fat p.o.s. and i cant throw up anymore because my gag reflex is shot. wheres my self control?
i dont know all i can say is that i really am close to killing myself. im really waiting it out because I am transgendered and i have my first appt to hopefully start my hormonal therapy. im HOPING i will feel less depressed, less suicidal now that im going […]
I have been planning to kill myself for a few weeks now.. The only reason I haven’t yet is because I am trying to figure out a way to ensure my mom won’t blame herself.
I don’t know what I am hoping to achieve by posting this. I have tried to tell people, I guess kind of hoping they will talk me out of it.. But nobody seems to understand. I just get the generic ‘things will get better’, ‘this will pass, you’ll grow out of it’. Well I’ve been waiting to grow out of it for years now. When do you decide to stop waiting?
Why?
I am tired of asking the same fucking question
I am tired of smiling when inside i feel like i am dying
I am tired of the fucking bullshit
I am tired of lies
Don’t i deserve the truth??
Why does everybody seem to love screaming at me?
Fuck
Why did i have to be born??
Urrgh
Bone crushing pain i feel everyday
Tired of this cycle repeating
Tired of begging for help
Tired of feeling alone
Tired of myself
Tired of not being enough
Tired of making eveyone else happy
Tired of being left out
Tired of hoping for nothing
Tired of dreamless […]
Alrighty loves, here is today’s positive post challenge. Post something that inspires you, whether it be a piece of art or a name of a loved one or a book, movie, piece of music, etc. I am hoping that with this post, those who lack inspiration and beauty in their lives will find something here. Good luck loves 🙂
I have been struggling with anxiety for around five years now, and I thought I was getting better. And then Thursday rolled around. I took the ACT this weekend, and I was studying for it. It really didn’t seem that bad, until my heart started racing. My head started to hurt, my knees buckled, I started to cry. The normal panic symptoms. The worst part: I was home alone. You think a panic attack is bad. Going through it without anyone there makes you feel so alone and desperate. I hadn’t thought about suicide in two months, and all the sudden, all the thoughts came […]
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