I failed, I had one job to houner my parents.
I was harassed and molested growing up, Its a good thing Im bi so the scar isn’t as bad as it could be.
Mental health buracacy and CPS left me for dead, I think it was because of my family’s income bracket and long military background.
I could use a hug.
she knew
maybe not
where she
was going
her bottomless pit
where all the guilt comes
faster
harder
faster
hard for her
does she like it
she doesnt know
nod your head if its a yes
shake it if its a no
a hug
a cuddle
they are affection of showing how couples love
she ain’t related to them
she was high for a while
then she got down
You are the most perfect you there is.
I’m not saying you are “perfect,” hence what society considers “perfect.”
I’m saying that the reason why you are perfect, is because you are you.
You are perfect at being you, because you are you.
There is no one who can be better at being you, than you.
Nobody can be you except you.
No one has the same laugh.
No one has the same smile.
No one sheds the same tears as you do.
You are a very cute specimen and you deserve a hug.
Stay strong, my friend.
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I’ve lost 2 relatives that I was close to, both times I was woken up in the middle of the night and told they died. I get so afraid to sleep, in fact one of my worst fears is that I will loose my very closest and dearest loved ones while I sleep. I’ve had nightmares that it has happened and I wake up sobbing. My aunt died and they woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me. I have been battling some depression and Monday felt like a good day for me. Then I find out this morning that not […]
For the first time someone envied me. It was my sister nonetheless. She envied my temporarily contentment and mistook it for happiness. Her tear stained cheeks, and hurt smile stirred the inner demons inside of me. The ones that thrived on the lost, the broken. It took a fairly decent amount of my mental health to hug and talk to her about what was bothering her and then sharing some of my *gag* feelings. I had to explain to her that in that moment I am content, not happy but i am okay with just being alive for now. That within an hour or so […]
A few days ago I got an awful call… My best friend called me to tell me one of our good friends committed suicide. I literally broke down. I know what its like to be at the brink and feel so damn lonely but i just couldnt believe he was gone. He talked a few years ago about him planning to hang himself one night at school and one of his roommates walked in before he had the chance to actually go through with it, and they talked and he decided he wasnt ready…. i wish someone walked him on him this time. if i […]
I’m not gonna reveal my name, but you can call me Justin. I’m 13 and I’ve been secretly depressed since I was 12. My life is good as a whole, I have loving parents, and a loving brother (and family), but I still don’t feel loved. They don’t know I’m suicidal, but they might suspect it. I’m not asking for sympathy, but I have been thinking about suicide ever since I entered this new Catholic school. I am 95% convinced that I’m bisexual, and I’ve told some of my friends. They support my sexuality, but I need someone. Someone to love. Someone to hug. My […]
…and it made me want to commit suicide. yes, it was that bad that i have lost all faith in art, theatre, and humanity.
i applied two of my plays to this playwriting competition this year and last year, and got rejected both times. it sucked. last year, i was not able to see the final plays, but tonight i watched this year’s plays.
what. dreck.
the first play was kind of witty, making fun of crappy community college theatre that is up its own butt, poorly written and poorly acted.
the next 2 hours was basically…all the plays the first play was making fun of.
it was awful. i […]
4th Jan 2016
I’m currently having some severe symptoms of anxiety (or which I think severe, but may not be so).
Feeling low again, extremely low..
I need someone to talk to.. someone to hug. I’m not even strong enough to cry right now.
I know I should go to a doctor for the satisfaction of my mind’s queries. I cannot answer them all by myself.
What should I do? What should I do??
Panic…. Panic….
I think my life is over. My life is literally over.
I’m telling honestly, from my heart.
I feel like I cannot cope with all the problems I have. My […]
For all of those who don’t have someone to say goodnight/good morning to them,
For all of those who hate themselves but wear the biggest smile out every single day,
For all of those struggling with addiction,
For all of those who don’t have someone to tuck them in at night and and hug them,
For all of those who think that they deserve nothing because they haven’t found their talents yet,
For all of those who think that they need to end their lives,
this is for you.
goodnight/good morning, you deserve it. I’m here for you.
don’t hate yourself, I like you. It’s ok to not smile once in a while. […]
This time of the year is literally so hard. It is hard for me to concentrate. I hate making excuses for myself but I just try to close up this time of year. Daddy has been gone for three years now and it doesn’t get any easier. I miss him so much. There are so many anniversaries this time of year. Nov. 29th, 2012, the day I had to call the cops on my own mother because she tried to fight me in the street. Nov. 30th, 2012, the day my daddy died in my arms. Dec. 8th, 2012, the day I planned, all by […]
Son of a *****. I’m at it again, having a breakdown where no one will find me. I’m so tired, so tired (SO GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TIRED), of not being happy. I want to be able to be content with myself. I never tell anyone I know of these breakdowns and how severe they can get because I don’t want them to think less of me. But I’m exhausted from keeping it in. I just want a hug, a soul crushing, tear gushing hug. I want to feel loved wholly, for my depression and everything else. I don’t want to hide, bu t I shall continue to […]
i just need someone to hug me and tell me it gets better.. please.. this hell is killing me
In Spanish we have the word “apapachar” it can’t be translated properly to English but it’s something like “to caress the soul” it could be done thru a hug, or any other display of affection. That’s one of my favorite words and that’s why I need. Autumn and winter make me feel sadder than usual, but the sunsets make me feel so calmed. I just wanted to share this with you all. I don’t know why haha.
I’m sorry I can’t do anything right.
I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment to you.
I’m sorry I’m such a burden.
I’m sorry I’m not what you wanted.
I’m sorry I’m not good enough.
I’m sorry I can’t live up to your expextations.
I’m sorry I’m so lazy.
I’m sorry I don’t help you enough.
I’m sorry I don’t say I love you anymore.
I’m sorry I don’t kiss you anymore.
I’m sorry I don’t hug you anymore.
I’m sorry I’m not a good daughter.
I’m sorry I can’t keep a long term friendship.
I’m sorry I pushed you away.
I’m sorry I’m weird.
I’m sorry I don’t fit in.
I’m sorry I’m a huge fuck up.
I’m sorry I was born.
I’m […]
This week. 1 arrest under the mental health act. 2 trips in a police car. 2 trips to the ED. 1 trip to the mental hospital.
I don’t mean to wallow in my own self pity, but, any chance of a hug.
Currently in the ED again waiting to be collected by mental health crisis team.
so ive been on autopilot to deal with depression for the last 4 years, but now with counselling and therapy I’m starting to come back to life. I’m noticing my feelings and the feelings of people around me. I look at my friend and she is just like I was, apart from shes not on auto pilot, shes feeling every ounce of pain and hopelessness. everything in my body wants to go over there and hold her, and tell her something, make the pain go away, cry with her, so she doesn’t feel so alone. but what do you say? what do you do? we […]
I’m sick of people.. And no one likes me. I’m tired of always trying to fit in. People come and go, does anyone really actually stay? And if they do stay, it’s only little interaction, just little thoughts like “i haven’t talked to this person in a while, I guess I’ll see how they’re doing.” And so you talk for maybe 4 messages back and forth and then they leave again. And you sit there optimistically like “oh okay, talk later then”… That hardest part is accepting that, they’re much more apart of your life than you are to theirs.
Imma go pound on my keyboard now. Have […]
BEFORE
When i see you, i die it’s like i forget how to breath should i inhale should i exhale i never know what to do.
when you look at me, oh with those eyes, they’re brown just brown not so exiting but to me, those eyes are my little universe.
when you smile at me, i swear i loose it all, it’s like the world stop, everything else fades away and it’s just us against the world.
when you touche me, fire run trough my veins, i’m being electrocuted .
when you hug me, i feel at home, it’s my safe heaven i never want […]
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