i feel so depressed. especially because im at home. i dont have the one person i wish was with me. i saw her today(my best friend that is). my parents wanted me to go to the store with them, but this morning i told my mom i dont wanna go anywhere. and when they left i went right to her house. but i feel sooo bad for what did. i enable her. soo much. and i hate it. she is an addict. even though its hard for me to say that and it breaks my heart to know that. its true though. and i am […]
a combination of happiness and suffering
and smiling and crying
it is a journey God picked
for us to travel and see
who made it to heaven or hell.
I dont think thats fair though.
how do we know where we end up?
Does it even really matter??
We all die eventually.
We are eternally asleep when
we die.
So, no, it doesnt really matter.
Our souls will go across the universe.
Nothing will be destroyed when i
Die.
I dont even believe many people will remember me at all.
So why does all this matter so much?
There have been things on my mind that i just cannot
stop thinking of.
And i dont think those things have answers or
explanations.
My feelings about suicide after a beloved family member took their own life in 2012.
Happier Times
December 16, 2008 – Tuesday […]
Words of wisdom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Na9-jV_OJI
It is sad that now I don’t feel like I’m a “human” anymore, or want to be associated with a being called “human”. I mostly hate humanity nowadays, and have become a Misanthrope, and disillusioned as well with this so-called “real world”. it sucks, and Humanity, though I used to believe it has so much hidden potentials, yet now I unfortunately can’t help but feeling Humanity is largely hopeless: we’re destroying our own Planet, animals, and even killing our fellow species over some stupid, close-minded, most ignorant & selfish, senseless reasons..
Can anybody here relate?…what to do then?…
Here’s a complete and detailed ‘rant’ of mine, if […]
1. What is your job?
or what do you study?
2. Do you like it? or hate it? or fucking hate it, but have little to no choice?
3. And is you’re feeling suicidal also related with your job/working life?
perhaps feeling meaningless, and hate life?
4. Last but not least, why don’t you pursue your dreams, or your dream-job, or what makes you happy?
What makes you hesitate?
thanks.
Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..
sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”
think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
Okay so the thing is that my best friend is upset because the person she’s in a relationship with screwed her over and I see how badly upset she is. So the next day I text her and I get no response so I keep texting and calling because I was worried and I care a lot. So later in the day the person my friends dating texts me saying to stop flipping shit and that its not my job to care and blah blah blah. And that really hurt. They have no right to tell me who I can or can’t care about. Like […]
I found this web site a couple days ago while puttering around, looking for answers, or support, or both, or neither. I’ve written and spoken to a few people since then. I wondered out loud if writing things down would help or not, and my mom thought it might be a good idea.
I’ve been dogged by clinical depression since my college years. I’m now 43. My wife, who attempted suicide three times in college, has also been depressed throughout her entire adult life. In the ’90s living out west, it was scary frequently. She was out of work because of her depression, and many times […]
I just stumbled on this page accidently. But maybe this will be helpful. My older sister committed suicide over 20 yrs ago. I have mental illness in my family and several of us have it, including myself. I grew up with an alcoholic father and uncaring mother to give you a short and fast history of my family. Due to my mental history (suffering with bipolar disorder for 24 yrs, since I was 18) and dealing with the loss of my sister, I attempted suicide 6 yrs ago. I took my psychiatric medication plus some medical meds and as much tylenol as I could swallow. […]
I posted on here nearly a year ago, when I was fifteen. Well, I’m sixteen now, and things have not improved in the least.
My dad is still an angry, violent alcoholic. My mom still stands behind him. I still come home with outstanding grades, only to be put down by my parents, saying it still isn’t good enough. That I’m not even trying.
Here’s the thing; I actually haven’t been trying. I can’t anymore. The depression has turned. I used to cry a lot, and reach out to friends when I was at my worst. Now, I don’t feel much of anything. I have no motivation, […]
I couldn’t sleep so i took sleeping pills. They didn’t really sleep it was more like being paralyzed. I could feel hear but couldn’t stop him from having sex with me like that. I confronted him and he denied it. We fought and he said it would never happen again. I had no where to go. I was trapped. He went where I went. My first break  at help was a cop who said a husband can’t rape his wife. 5 yrs later some one stepped in. I had a child with him.
They lied said i was a druggie whore and other stuff and my lawyer […]
I don’t even know what to do. I know he loves me, deep down. When he’s drunk he tells me that he loves me and that he’d take a bullet for me. But thats the only time he does. When he’s drunk. He used to tell me all the time, we’ve been together for 9 months and I love him so much. I have caught him out sending dirty messages to other girls before and he’s always said sorry to me. But the other week I saw a message to a girl he met in a club telling her she was really pretty and he […]
Im tired of this it hurts to much i cnt stop crying all i do is cry and it feels like icnt breathe like im slowly drowning. Icut myself to calm dwn but it dsnt last long idk wat else to try and wat makes things worse is all my so called friends hav basically abandoned me ihave no one ican talk to im all alone and it hurts to think i always will be. its gotten to the point were ive cryed so much ive made myself sick. Ive thought about ending it once and for all but iwant ther to be no chance […]
I feel so lost. Idnt know wat to do anymore. Evryday iwakeup go go to to school and force myself to smile wen all ireally wana do is jst stay in bed and cry. Lately its gotten harder to pretend im ok. Ijust feel so sad and angry and useless. Icant get through a skool day without having to run into a stall to cry and cut myself and even that dsnt help much. Ijust dnt know how to deal wit my feelings of hurt anger and pain anymor i feel so alone. I hav people that call themselves my friends but they dnt notice […]
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.†– George Carlin
Hail George.
he’s right.
fucking humans who like to over-complicate everything with all their ‘systems’ and rules and BS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW4x4gswm-o
“Tsubasa wo Kudasai” (Please Give Me Wings)
Lyrics translation:
“If I could have my wish come true right now
I’d want to have wings
Please place wings on this back
like a bird
I want to spread my wings
and fly in these heavens
To the free sky with no sadness
I want to flutter my wings and fly
Even now, I don’t need money nor fame,
what I want are wings!
The things I dreamt as a child,
I still dream about them today!
I wan’t to spread my wings
and fly into this wide sky!
I want to flap my wings and fly to this
free sky filled […]
“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it.” – Agent Smith (The Matrix)
Perhaps to the contrary of what many of you would think here,
I am actually live from a quite healthy & “normal” situation/environment, eg:
– I am born from a quite loving, and healthy family. My childhood was a quite happy ones, with lots of traveling here & there.
– I am from a quite middle-to-upper class family, which can be said, I’m pretty much okay/well-off, albeit not super/very-rich.
– I even went to all those what “normal” society would call “great routes” in life like: great education & school overseas (in U.S, “The Land of the Dream” for immigrant people like me, which is […]