Tag:

hurt

You want at least some f’in meaningful Change, right?

by niki 2/17/2011

written by niki

So you really want a f’in meaningful Change?
Not to be another walking zombie, just merely ‘existing’ & ‘surviving’ in this pathetic, rotten world right?
trust me, I can feel and relate totally with you..

Well,..here’s a BIG idea that might make you think & ponder a bit tonight (An idea is always better than nothing right?) :

what if I tell that it’s not our world that sucks
(eg: our Planet Earth, nature, animals, beauty of Nature, etc),..heck, it’s not even ALL humanity that sucks (eg: ALL humans & people you’ve met & encountered. ALL of ’em).

No.

It’s the System, the FEW Powers-that-be that CONTROLS the System,

2/17/2011 0 comment

I don’t belong in this real-world

by niki 2/7/2011

written by niki

sometimes I just feel that I don’t belong in this “real world”,..I’m such a “head in the clouds” person and NOT a ‘practical’ person,..which is unfortunately everything this so-called “real world” really needed

how many of you here can relate very much with what I’m saying here?
and how do you handle it daily?
by ‘grinding’ through it?..like a machine?..
or by ‘creating’ your own reality, or even an alternate reality of yours?
by escaping frequently?..

*sigh*..this real world can be way too dull, uninspiring, bland, and ‘dry’ for my vivid imaginations…

2/7/2011 8 comments

Zeitgeist: Moving Forward. might be the CORE solution to ALL humanity/society’s shitty problems!

by niki 2/3/2011

written by niki

Watch it.
Join it, and spread it, if you think it’s really damn *worth* it.
It really opened my eyes for me personally, and I’ve joined the local movement here in my home country.
Surprisingly, this is a global movement! and I’m very sure it’s going to grow & grow even more.
Because it’s hell much BETTER than our current sick, corrupt, and obnoxious ‘System’ and ‘society’ we’re currently having all around the world!

â€œ(Never underestimate the importance of an idea). An idea is like a virus. Resilient, highly contagious. The smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define, or […]

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2/3/2011 1 comment

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my big blog.

by 3_bringitback 1/24/2011

written by 3_bringitback

what am I supposed to do… do I continue on, through the rain? or do I fall and slowly drown.

I purposly ‘lost’ my polio/ TB jab form. which was supposed to be in for today, in hopes that I won’t have to get it. why? you ask. well, I don’t really know how to answer that. I am, but I amn’t. but ever so slowly, the plate carrying ‘I am’ is creeping down, the weight over throwing ‘I amn’t’.

Today, something so, incredibly horrible happened. I wore a long sleeved shirt for the first time in years. And during geography, someone in my class asked me […]

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1/24/2011 3 comments

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Dakota.

by deeperthanflesh 1/18/2011

written by deeperthanflesh

So. Its my 20th birthday, yet life isn’t anymore exciting. I tried everything; moving away, moving back, sex, drugs, its all not working. I took the nursing program so my mom would just get off my back. Drew, my boyfriend and I moved into the basment at dads. Its been great for the first few months, but everything is getting so boring and life is becoming so repetetive. Yesturday is clashing with today, and no doubt tomorrow. Well I guess its time to go out, I’m almost 20.

I meet up with Sam and Sie, and I try my most authetic smile, because though they’re […]

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1/18/2011 1 comment

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Still Wolf Watching

by 3_bringitback 1/9/2011

written by 3_bringitback

I tried, I tried to socialise.

You see, it’s my moms birthday party, and she has around ten close friends over. All laughing and joking. But obviously being me, the akward angella. I’ve got to sit in the corner and panic at every look.

How did I get this way? I used to be the glue to every occasion, I would dive right into the deep end, and frollic like a little child. Now, I’m afraid to even dip my toe in the water.

I can here them, laughing their asses off downstairs. And, it breaks my heart. I wish that I could be like them, I really […]

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1/9/2011 1 comment

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Greedy little shit

by KlashingKamille 1/2/2011

written by KlashingKamille

Im tired of all of these no offense, but really, jesus-freaks attacking me with i was ‘Put here for a reason, God loves you, Jesus made you….etc.’ I honestly do not care.

Yeah, i have family. yeah i have friends.
But whats eating me inside hurts me more than anything else could.

Its like heartbreak, jealousy, apathy, pain, impatience…everything that hurts put together into one.

I want to die, and i dont care who i hurt, because my grief inside is so much worse.
‘Its just a phase, every teen goes through it’ they say.
Well if i ever get the courage, ill prove you wrong.

Im a greedy, […]

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1/2/2011 7 comments

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One

by StrawberryThyme 12/26/2010

written by StrawberryThyme

Tried to tell you, with all of my talk about death.
Tried to show you, but never in seriousness.
I hurt you and Iâ€™ll never let myself forget
How more people get hurt, the closer I get.

Itâ€™s so hard to find yourself in the shadows,
So I just settled for keepinâ€™ the door closed.
Keepinâ€™ secret the thoughts that rush through my head,
All the nights Iâ€™ve stayed up, thinkinâ€™ â€œI should be dead.â€

I love you but it seems like Iâ€™m always falling.
I turned into a person whoâ€™s always name-calling,
And bitching and whining and hurting you all.
Time to find somewhere high […]

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12/26/2010 4 comments

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Distraction

by KlashingKamille 11/27/2010

written by KlashingKamille

I hate life so fucking much. I hate everything. I want to die so much, I want to hurt, I want the shit beaten out of me, I want to have reasons for wanting to kill myself but I have none, and I have like, two friends left after The Betrayal.
But i cant do it.
I cant kill myself, Im afraid, not of death itself, but leaving oppurtunities.
I want first love, first kiss, first time, I want to see my little cousins grow up with me there.
But I hate life.
I have a house, food, clothes, family, all that you basically need.

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11/27/2010 2 comments

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Depressed for no great reasons…

by KlashingKamille 11/24/2010

written by KlashingKamille

Ive been depressed for a while, Im 14 years old and done with all the ‘all teenagers go through this phase’ bullshit. Ive gone psychologist to psychologist, from hospital to hospital, and happy pills. Im not depressed for any good reasons. I have a house. I have food. I have clothes. Im for the most part healthy. But i cry over the stupidest things, like how i look.

I was thinking about the fight with my ex-friends that caused me to drop out of school (im considering homeschool or just running away, even ‘therapeutic boarding school’ if we can afford it). I start crying everytime i […]

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11/24/2010 5 comments

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Run Away…

by KlashingKamille 11/20/2010

written by KlashingKamille

I hate my parents. No, Im dissapointed in their lack of support. They blame me for everything, my own twin sister blames me for everything. My dad calls me ugly, fat, and hits me. My mom calls me fat too, but goes to the extent of not feeding me. She doesnt just hit me like my dad, she beats me when she sees me cutting.
My sister is a selfish fat pig. If she doesnt get enough attention from ‘Daddy’, she cuts herself, throws a tantrum, or blames me, and accuses me. Did i mention she’s 14?
I just want to catch a Greyhound, or […]

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11/20/2010 7 comments

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Alone?

by KlashingKamille 11/20/2010

written by KlashingKamille

I feel utterly alone in this world of misery. I just want to say that it would be nice if someone here could support me and talk to me?
I know i sound pathetic,
but hey its worth trying!
I see hope for my future, but its really lonely with no one supporting my depression. not my parents, not my twin, and ill say it, i have no friends.
14 years old trapped in miserable california.
just a girl trying to be different, but in trying to be different i need support. and no, this is not an invite to creepers. just people who understand […]

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11/20/2010 4 comments

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Emptiness

by KlashingKamille 11/18/2010

written by KlashingKamille

I feel ridiculous, having searched for a place to share my innermost feelings and thoughts of suicide…
I’m 14 years old, and have horrid self-esteem/confidence issues. I find myself repulsive, but yearn for love. I get no support from my family, not even my twin sister who hates me for getting attention i dont want. I go to a psychologist who tells me to go to school.
Did i mention i sort of dropped out, except i go every once in a while after my parents beat me.
I hurt so badly, over nothing. I have a house, food in my cupboards, clothes, im not […]

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11/18/2010 6 comments

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A day that changed my life

by markh12405 10/4/2010

written by markh12405

My name is mark, this is my story, i had to goto work early on a saturday monring, and my fiance of five years had the weekend off and wanted to drink. Since she wanted to drink i asked her to not invite alot of people, and dont spend much on beer, so she agreed. When i woke up in the moring our apartment was trashed, and she was passed out on the couch, so i just went to work. When i had returned from work i had questioned her about it and she got mad at me and got up and left, its like […]

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10/4/2010 0 comment

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My Story, My Life, My Pain

by ZAK18408 9/26/2010

written by ZAK18408

My lifee has been full of everything i used alcohol n drugs sincee i was 13 i havent stopped n dnt think i will, i had a friend who got me involved init she was my bestfriend she told me everything i tried to help her but it wasent helping, she was in a mental unit for 6 months just a week after her 16th birthday. i visited her weekly n each week she told me the same thing “it ends tonight” she trusted me so much she wanted me to have a suicide pact with her i said no n said your not going […]

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9/26/2010 1 comment

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HELP!?!?

by Kathy.Castillo 4/17/2010

written by Kathy.Castillo

Everyday they kill me more and more.
The kids, at school, its like they have nothing better to do than call me names. and push me around. ive done nothing wrong, i haven’t done anything to hurt them.
my friends they see my getting harassed (i guess we could call it), they do nothing about it.
do they care?
on friday i was walking in the hall with my friend Katy, just minding m own business and a group of boys pushed me.
they laughed and i turned around and asked who had done it,
they snickered and laughed. they do that- enjoy my anger.

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4/17/2010 13 comments

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Empty

by twisted_anna 4/8/2010

written by twisted_anna

I hate what I’ve done to him. what he’s done to me.
I choke on my own self pity.
I cry out in pain.
Â The tears fall down my cheeks.
Empty.
I feel empty.
Without him.
Without his warmth.
Care.
Want.
Desire.
Love.
I miss him.
He needs me.
I want him.
but nowÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
He’s gone.
like a magician and his puff of smoke.
Just… Gone.

time freezes.
and i sit here.
alone.
pitifulÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
can’t breathe.
can’t swallow.
drowning in the lost love.
of him.

of me.

Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â our connection blood deep.
i feel what he feels
he feels what i feel.

He […]

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4/8/2010 1 comment

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Help

by painterofmusic 5/25/2009

written by painterofmusic

Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Everything hurts. The secrets I can’t tell anyone, and no one cares at all. Who do I turn to? How do I say the words to someone, someone I trust, that is going to make them understand? Who would I tell? WhoÂ can I trust? How do I get even one minute with them only three days before school is out? I’m going to die this summer. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t stand my life anymore, my mind… I have secrets that are killing me, literally. I’m going to die because I can’t take knowing the things I know. And even […]

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5/25/2009 5 comments

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Untitled

by painterofmusic 5/10/2009

written by painterofmusic

No one is going to read this. I don’t know why I came back here to this website. I figuredÂ I never would after I found it the first time, but here I go again… This is exactly like when I found out I was pregnant, to a T; I was going to end my life, but then, an opportunity presented itself. I saw what might be a reason to live. Judging by before, assuming that the past paints a pretty good portrait of the future, Iâ€™ll be worse off than before. If I had gone through with everything before, I wouldnâ€™t be hurting this way […]

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5/10/2009 5 comments

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