I just got out of the mental ward two days ago for downing thirty pills.but no one took that seriously so i was only there four days and one day in the er.today i find out that a guy i liked in high school is in the icu on breathing tubes cause he tried to kill himself and odd as it sounds i wish it could have been me.i wish i could be on breathing tubes dying.no one cared about my flawed attempt cause im a regular at the er if i was dying maybe someone would seriously help me but because i make flimsy […]
if i cant find a job, i will end up homeless eventually. i dont want that. i went to college. i want to work, and have a life. i dont want to end up homeless. i want a job, so i can afford to see doctors about my little health issue (that is easily fixable if one has just a little money). there isno reason why i should end up homeless, but it seems that is what is going to happen eventually. i have no siblings, and my cousins all have thier own families. im scared to die, im scared of death. im also terrified […]
I love those two so much. they are why im here. i dont have many people and its a cold world out there. i cant find a job, and im tired of this. i miss my friends on this site. i dont want to die. but, hey, at least i wont grow old. i love u all.
Im over it over everything im always either angry, crying or numb i cant go a day without drinking i dnt want too being sober makes it harder to face the fact that im worthless and have every reason to kill myself i try to talk myself out of it but each time i feel like im closer im just so tired of crying and hurting all the time things dnt get any better. 21 years and they only get worseim not sure how much longer i can take this or if i want to try anymore. Its time i accepted that soon […]
Im tired of medication and psychiatry sessions I’m slowly watching everything die around me or walk out of my life and i just want to get better but i cant save myself . How did it get better for any of you
Im a recent graduate and its hard not having structure. In order to feel any emotion or fill my boredom i have given in to impulse decisions,unsafe decisions and have alienated everyone important to me. I have watched my life fall to pieces in weeks. I just lost my bf of 5 years and im struggling to see the point. Im know people will […]
Obviously my name isn’t hunter s, but he is a man i admire and whose writing has helped me immensely through the years. i should start by saying that i’m not here to write my suicide note. not yet at least. i’m here because i’m broken. i have almost nothing left to lose (i say almost because i’m still alive, sort of..) and no reason to live but no reason to die. I’m here because my heart is broken the venom from all the shit people i call friends and family has been building up and burning my insides for so long that its finally […]
As the description says. A friend of mine just did it this monday. And all i can think of is that im jelaus of him. He had the guts to do it. To finally get the eternal rest.
He had been hospitalized for a time now, and he was just on his way out this week. But he came to his senses and did it just before he was to get out. I really hope that i will have the curage to do it soon. If he, that was so sucsessfull in every way (great body, best job, articles writed about him..) could do it, then […]
Why do people have to be so heart less this is the second post i have put on hers and i really dont know why im telling everyone my problens because i hate taliking to people my x left me back in September because i wasnt the person i used to be after i got hurt and i found she had been cheating on me for awhile and im in constant pain i live on pain killers and other meds for my heart rate and blood pressure they say its because of the pain and i admit im not the same person im tirectired all […]
I don’t know how to handle life and all the feeling that come with it anymore. Every morning I wake up with anxiety and deal with it all day and I lay in bed for hours wishing I could just stay asleep forever. I don’t know what ive become, ive pushed all of my friends and family away. I don’t know how to talk to people, but most of all im so lonely and heartbroken, and I have been for so long. every girl I meet once she gets to really know me she runs away from me. the first girl I ever had a relationship […]
i typed this up a couple weeks ago but removed within a couple hours removed some content that id rather not be indexed and re-posting
being depressed all the time is not easy lack of sleep completly drained any little glimmer of hope i used to have i cant do it anymore feel like giving up and crawling in a dark hole and waiting for endless sleep to creep up i know ill probaly never accually take my own life but the thought of it does make me feel a little better sometimes i wander how much better everyone who knows me life would be if […]
Hello Fellas,
I have a very painful story.. My uncles & grandparents betrayed my parents when they were newly married.. They were out of house and money.. My mom has a psychological disorder.. My dad has so many confusing decisions.. My uncles killed my 3 elder Siblings.. I am the younger one and the one and only son of my parents.. By the situations and time.. I saw everything Bad.. Some goodness.. I am in love.. But i cant get her.. Bcz she’s in another country.. I was going kill myself last night by jumping off balcony.. But i saw a news in TV infront of […]
It totally sucks balls i have entities and voices trying to guide me through suicide. They suck arse.. The only way im going to do it is when i save up for a car and **s myself. Voices suck just stay away from drugs. Cant wait to end myself i wouldnt wish schizophrenia on my worst enemy i so fukin wouldnt. Almost ade os amigos. Cant reason with them side effects of mental illness and drugs is sleep lots and cant focus. Its almost over rover and expect no one to post because i cant contain this shit cant wait until my time comes
I cant sleep. I feel more alive in my dreams then i do in real life. When i wake up i sit and cry before putting on a fake smile and going to school. Im a pretty shy kid, i guess you could call me a nerd. got good grades but there not the best and i spend most of my time reading blocking out the real world. Anyways, back to the sleeping problem. I fall asleep around 12 at night and the problem is i cant stay asleep. i dream, wake up and cry, and go back to sleep. most of my nights are […]
Been depressed for years and i have a bad drink problem thats started affecting my health i have severe liver damage ive got a lot worse feeling low the last few months not because of my health problems im just not even interested in anything anymore in the past ive always talked my self out ended it all for what it would do to my parents but lately ive just thought if i do it and get it over and done with then its done. i cant imagine what im going to put my parents through if i carry on drinking and been honest i […]
Im an angry person at 22 i don’t need a boyfriend or a kid anytime ever till my rage is under control.yet everyday i long for those things or just something I can have and feel this sense of belonging or accomplishment.right now my sisters and brothers are in college but i cant stay a week before dropping out so ive given up.my love life is non existent and i dont know if ill ever have one cause ill eventually pass on if not from suicide then from the damage of failed suicide so thats out.my sister kindly told me over the phone that my […]
1. i definitely need more clothes but i fucking hate shopping. its such a pain in the ass not gonna lie
2. life is really exhausting right now and im not really sure why
3. i have this model due tuesday and i have no clue what to do
4. i have the chance to get into a thing but ill have to miss a review session
5. i have a project due in a month but ill probably drop out because whatever i cant do it
6. i have to write this thing for my friend and i havent even started
7. people fucking […]
It’s 12:57am and depression just hit me again. I just wanted to write here cause i have no one to talk to. I just want to feel okay. Im glad I found this site, this is my second post. This is where i let it all out, write what i feel, but there is still something i cant express. So im trying to write more. I dont know if someone cares, but i do this to help myself.
I was at the mall with my boyfriend this afternoon. I was happy that time. I couldnt ask for more. But i’ve just found out that his ex […]
When i was 16 my life was simple, i had many friends, i was the funny bestfriend, and i dont know anything but happiness. Though my mom works abroad its okay cause im used to it, she’s been in another country for five years. I live with my dad, we are not close so i dont really talk to him that much. I had a boyfriend and we both loved each other so much. But when i started to feel uncontented i started cheating on him over and over again. I would also say hurtful words to him, i made him feel useless. and i […]
“should i kill myself? or should i wait and maybe life will get better?” this is the question i have been asking myself for more than 2 years. I still cant make a decision. life isnt getting better its only getting worse. so there is no point in living. i cant kill myself either because i only have one shot at life and if i die there is no guarantee that there is an afterlife. why does everything has to be hard? I used to musterbate my sadness away but now i dont even like porn and musterbation. what am i going to do? cant […]