Im 21 years old yet i still feel like such a useless child, that same little girl whose father wanted her aborted, whose mother sdespite this got back together with said father and stood by while he both physically and emotionally abused me. He eventually kicked me out after finding out i had been raped saying that i deserved it and was better of dead. I struggeled to find a new place to stay the night most nights, if i couldnt find a place id sleep in a stall at hyvee or a walmart. While homeless i became addicted to meth. Id spend everyday high […]
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i cant
Im not crazy , just alone, need employment, cant get out of house, lost my last job 2 months ago hitting on a girl, which i would never do ever but wasnt thinking clearly from the kratom. Im about 400 pounds and i feel lazy and lethargic alot. I worked at 711 for about a year, hard to keep up but i tried reallh hard. Then i got a job as a security officer. im a nice guy, why did i have to hit on that woman, i should of not did it, noe i have 14 dollars living with my brother, ive messed up […]
I have been cutting for 13 years.
I want to die i have a date
I feel like he woyld be better off if i wasnt in his life. I raise him on my own. I have no help. I cant pick myself up anymore. I dont want him around me because i hate that im always fucking misreable and dont want him picking up on it. Nothing makes me happy im always putting on that fake fucking smile for everything abd everyone. I love my little one so much he is my world that is why i put on that fake smile everyday but i feel […]
I think all i need in life is comfort and motivation, instead of criticism of every mistake i do. My mom isn’t here for that anymore because she basically doesn’t wanna hear from my ass because her fucking husbands ***** ass made her choose him over her own fucking son so now I’m here with my dad and hes in debt and you know how that puts people right? So fucking annoying, angry all the time, bad attitudes, and basically turned him into a worse alcoholic. My life is not bad… but it should be better, i try to make it better but I’m discouraged […]
i sit in my room talking to myself, why? Because no one cares to listen. You could sit and talk about their problems but youre a burden if you talk about yours. What has the world come to where society is like that? Hopefully all of you will listen
Being average. Never will i be the strongest. Or the fastest. The smartest. I tell people i read books but little do they know i’ve never finished a book in my life. I own books but i get bored. I wont finish top of my class, i typically sit on the bottom. Algebra and chemistry just doesnt […]
Im at full health if you ask my doctor and my depression is allmost gone but i feel like there is something hidden i cant get away with im getting more and more mature but i did not have my childhood because of bullys. can some one explain what is going on ?
It been a long time since I been to this site and posted anything. I feel a lot better now that i left home and have an amazing long distance boy friend . However like the rest of life i still find the problems to keep me up at night.Like the feeling of still being unable to help any one, as i leave home and travel 4 hours up north with no way to get back till the summer i find my brother falling deeper into the darkness, he never had any friends nor a stable life , however he never been a street rat […]
So basically i dont know what to do.
Ive had depression for a few years now. When i was about 8 my dad started to get drunk a lot and he would hit me randomly. At first i didnt care but as time went on he started to hit me more and harder. But when i was ten i told my dad i wanted to try boxing and then he stood up barely because he was drunk as fuck and he was like “so you want to do boxing?” Then he punched me as hard as he could and i cried a little and he […]
pettiness is starting to upset me more. like i know suffering isn’t a fucking competition or whatever, but it’s one of those things where its like oh your sister didn’t get you the bag you wanted for your birthday? yeah, well my sister fucking kicked me in the stomach so god damn hard i had to lay on the floor for 30 minutes and keep in my fucking pain and all i got from my god damn mother was a ‘im sorry. you’re doing a great job’ as if im doing a great job being my sister’s fucking punching bag. or like when girls complain […]
im 17 i live in the state of iowa and my parents dont want me to be with my boyfriend so right now they dont know im dating him they think im going and hanging out with his sister which i am but im also spending time with him and they dont know im with him and any ways i kinda want to run away but im scared because i dont want to get found and i want to take my pets with me but i know i cant and im so confused i really want to cry why i want out of the house […]
what’s the point anymore? it’s not like anything will get better, might as well just leave the world. Being in care is starting to hurt me physically and mentally, maybe i should either take the leap to end my life or maybe i should just end up going to different care homes every year or month, i cant even handle my emotions in this home, i dont fit in i’m not appart of their family and never will be, should i just end it? Please someone help me i’m asking for your help please i’m begging
looking at post i wanted to get in touch with writer but the dates were old, so ill post, the writer said he just bot the tank, cracked it a bit and wallaaaaah… im having trouble with the 400 dollar price of the exit site regulator and the welder supply said they have nothing at all that allows a constant flow….(oops this was for a helium idea, now im thinking ********) Someone said they know all about ******** here, could you tell me why i cant just crack it open and walllaaaahh, actually, this would be as close as i can get so it would […]
First post..the thought/idea of killing myself has become more and more reoccurring. I’m so confused. I don’t understand communication, the useless topics and small conversation that just passes time. Everyone seems so comfortable in their lives, and know what to say or what their doing, I care alot about what I sound like-If i sound stupid, or “cool?” I dont want to be like this, I want to be truthful to myself, and I try too, but how do you stop caring what other people think? And fucking thoughts..what the fuck do you do with thoughts when you do not believe in or know they […]
it seems lately there’s been alot of angst on this site….i think it can be theraputic for some people to take their anger out on ppl they dont know…..so here’s a few things i hate about myself, for obvious reasons;
1. i’m a fatist…i dont like really fat people, like 400lbs or over….i only weigh 95-100lbs bc my depression gives me a total lack of appetite, so i cant understand why people can let themselves go like that….i know it’s wrong of me to think this way, but i do…….
2. sometimes i lie to my family members for money to spend on things that are unhealthy […]
as u already know, i havent tried to contact anyone in ur family, nor am i planning to…i seriously considered doing this, but please believe me when i say there was no maliceficent intent whatsoever….and now that i realize how stupid this would be of me i swear to you i never will..i was just really concerned about u guys because i’ve read all your posts and u seem like such tourtured and sad ppl, and ppl such as yourselves, with all the great things about u, i really wanted the ppl that love u to know what ur going thru…..but that’s not my decision […]
hello all…im new to this site hopefuly itll help somehow..even thu im not sure whats gonna help me anymore..
im filling up surveys and stuf…and it all shows i have severe depression and needs to be under treatment asap…
anyways…my situation goes like this..im 22 yrs old male..and im unemployed and ill just..cut it short and say i cant handle things anymore..
i once could..now i cant it just a feeling i have idk how to explain it..each day i feel worse cuz im depressed..each day i thinks of how killing myself and ..one day soon itll happen i know it..i feel it..
im ..pretty paranoid person…as a result […]
i dont know who i am any more. the people and things that i used to enjoy only serve to upset me. the magic is gone. i have no friends left and no will to make another. what purpose do i have? i cant find satisfaction any were let alone peace of mind. its like a constant screaming match in my head. nothing feels right any more, nothing feels real. im tired. i just want this to be over. i cant pull the trigger ive tried so now i just lay in bed at night crying hoping i wont wake up in the morning. this […]
Yeah it doesnt really help to have people posting saying only I can solve my problems. NO offense, but I know that. Im trying to express pain. Do you have ptsd from being sexually abused, do you know the myriad number of symptoms? mine was so bad i ended up on the street. my flesh is battered and worn from years of trauma. i want off disability, out of this cold and triggering hellhole where i live right now in new england, no bus on the weekends, last two cars i had more or less blew up, old and worthless after a few short months, […]
i’m back i needed to come back and iv said it all before but fuck it no one is going to read this any way
i have no friends (minor problem)
i have a girl friend but the relationship is crashing (i can live with out her but its the trying to save it cos i love her bit that is killing me)
i’m watching people win everyday when i lose i walk in to rooms and its like i’m not there (witch in some cases is a blessing) i miss some one who i should of let go of by now, i spend my days sitting in […]
I sit here looking out my window wishing a stray bullet would just come through and end it all.
Other times i sit and see the Semi trucks pass by. wondering and knowing it could end if I would just step right out in front of it.
Another night of self hatred. No way to get out, No way to make anything better.
Maybe for once Something will answer my pleads and just finish me off.
I wouldnt care if i died in a brutal way. Just want it to end.
No strength to fight, NO strength to end it myself. NO power to get by.
I am a ghost who […]