so i was recently dating this guy we dated for almost two years… as you can probably imagine i was or still am in love with that guy… he messed up many times during the relationship and i always forgave him everytime! in november he started acting weird with me and he didn’t really seem to care about our relationship that much he would ignore me when we would go to family parties and just text me even thought i would be right there. i made me feel bad like he didn’t care! soon enough he became more distant we would go to dates and […]
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Tonight is my friends 23rd so were going out to celebrate. I’m excited. Hopefully that will entitle us to some free drinks. lol.
This weeks been rough, but it’s Friday and i couldn’t be any happier. I got a job- which is a good thing, & finished all my work in my classes for the week. So i’ll have a nice smooth weekend.
Another shitty thing that i found out though this week was finding out the reason why this guy i was practically in love with stopped talking to me. He started “Seeing somebody else” . LOL. We were supposed to see a concert tonight that […]
Some of you make think I’m joking. Some of you may think im insane. But I have a story to tell. And it’s completely the truth. My personal experience. Some of you may curse me to hell. And some of you may just understand my plight. But I’m telling you now that i am not trolling you.
As a little girl, like most children, I had an imaginary friend. I would stay up at night talking to her and we would play games. She was a lot older than me, but that didn’t seem to matter because I was the only one who could see her. […]
The most frustrating thing about whatever it is I’m going through is this oscillation, things start to improve in small ways and then something happens however big or small and I’m back to being low again.
New Years was one of those times, being home from uni means and the history i have at home means there are a lot more people i feel i need to avoid. All day i tried to focus on working on an eminent essay but was anxious about that night; where i was going to go and who i was going to meet.
i was in the pub enjoying drinks with […]
I went out, was invited got buzzed felt crappy, i hated being there, i hated myself, everyone there knew how messed up i was. I was there for hours. They offered for me to stay sleep over.. But i just wanted home. So i walked in the cold and went home. I wanted to stay but I didnt. Maybe I’ll stay next time.
It seems many of us, men, here at SP struggle or have struggled with problems related to the opposite sex, messed up relationships, stalkig exes, or like me years of constant rejection, being friendzoned, women mistaking kindness for weakness and taking advantage of it and walking over us.
And you know what?
I’m 27 and i dont know why or how but about 3/4 years ago a sudden changed occurred …. i just stoped bothering with it at all, suddenly i dont care if women notice me or not, i walk by a gorgeous woman on the street with the same indiferrence that i walk by a […]
First and foremost i want to genuinely wish everyone that 2016 may be more happy or at least more bearable that the previous ones.
This Christmas i decided to give myself a present, thats right, thats why i’ve been somewhat absent lately …..i’ve decided to aquire my method, it wasnt easy and it took me months of reasearch, but i’ve made it.
It’s pretty much like band aid or tylenol or spare tire, you never know when you’re gonna need it….
If there is one time of the year i dread is New Year, it reminds me how lonely i am, you see i’ve only made real friends […]
I want to cry but cant or even move. Fireworks will go off again soon. I did this to myself. I dated, i was weak, and i suffered and still am. Im not going to just meet someone thats just going to fall in place. Anytime soon even if we need it. Every partner i had, left. This one.. Im ready to go now.. And if i miss im just going to rip it out in agony and do it again. Well thata how i feel
Free me from this prison
Ive been locked away for ao long
Every day seems to last forever.
Then comes the night
The time when all my toughts are set free
They flow through me aimlessly
Wanting to become a part of me.
I can feel the darkness
Taking over my mind
All i can see is blackness
I feel empty, like there’s nothing to be found.
Within me
There is only despair
I can not see clearly
It feels like life isn’t fair.
And then i think to myself
What feels better
Or less painfull
Than being alive?
A rope around my neck?
A bullet through my head?
Freefalling through the sky
Meeting death at the end?
……….
And then i think to myself
Maybe life isn’t so bad
But […]
so, i’m new here. (duh) i have had mental health issues since as far back as i can remember. (i am 30 years old) i never recieved any treatment for any of it until i was 16. between 16 and 18 i was in and out of the adolescent psych ward. as an adult i’ve been able to talk myself out of being placed inpatient all except for once. i’ve been in multiple programs (partial hospitalization programs, intensive outpatient programs, outpatient groups, –for an eating disorder and others for depression\anxiety– and of course individual therapy) and the groups helped…as long as i was in them. […]
Guys i need to share this with someone. On the 4th december around 10 pm I took 160 pills of paracetamol with half botle of vodka. It was 72g of paracetamol. I read that 12g is lethal. Anyway, I passed out and woke up at 5:30 am covered with vomit. There was vomit everywhere, even inside my fridge ( i guess i was trying to drink water). How can be possible someone walk while inconscient. I really think God saved me. At 7:00 a.m. I went to the ER, I was vommiting, sweeting, I had fever and I couldn’t think clear. I stayed 4 days […]
it’s been awhile since i have been here. i was hoping not to feel compelled to write here again but circumstances have decided otherwise. it has been a rough year for me.when my birthday came around i had every intention of being dead. i had made arrangements, secured a means, everything was set to go. then the day came and for some reason i couldn’t do it. a few short days later i had a very ugly and traumatic breakup with both my shrink and therapist. and yet i survived. i have been off psych meds for the first time in over 20 years. things […]
time to go soon from this world. i’ve destructed all that i care about. erased everything.
so i mentioned in an earlier post today and i try not to post more than once a day. but i thought i was fine after i swerved off the road and spun the car and whatever but im not. im fine physically. but i had to go in a car for a half hour twice today and the first time i was just trying not to cry, and i thought it was because of all the terrible shit happening in my life recently and the fact that i was going to come back down on thursday and see the one person who i know […]
so my family is suppose to be going to a christmas concert today. yesterday when i was driving home some asshole swerved into my lane which made me swerve and lost control of the car and i ended up spinning out the car. i landed in the bushes and the most i have is like whiplash. then my aunt called my dad today and told him that my cousin committed suicide. i was never close to this cousin. the last time i saw him was like 2 years or so ago. he was in the military and was in iraq so everyone is just saying […]
hi my name is magnus i have went with depression being socially out and much more today i have gotten help but i feel that a childhood were i dont remember much else than a few good birthdays here and there othervise just alone bullied and allways fighting the other kids in constant paranoia when i was 8 to 10 years old had anger mannegement issues and all but after a depression i today at the age of 17 only just started at the age of 15 to feel happy and free from depression my doctors and parrents say that i prolly did not really […]
who else has trouble reaching out to people about their issues?
sometimes i think i’m ready to reach out and get help. then i remember all the times i tried to do so and was burned – like when my sister called my cutting ‘stupid’, when i tried to approach the subject with a school counselor and was ignored, not counting all the times i was told to just be grateful for what i have, or to ‘just get over it’. or my favorite; ‘do something about it then’.
they tell us if we’re feeling bad to talk to someone about it… what if no one wants […]
(not about/directed at anyone here) what is it with people and getting told i’m feeling sorry for myself? we’re taught that self-pity is bad, but is it really? why must i always have to ‘suck it up’? why can’t i have a moment of weakness to feel bad for myself, and then suck it up? what’s wrong with letting oneself be human? everyone has thrown a pity party for themselves some time in their lives. we all have asked ourselves “why me?” – don’t act like you haven’t. so, why is it okay for everyone else to complain, but when i do it i’m just […]
All my life u drank i wished one day u would give it up but i doubt it i thought that when u had to go to hospital for surgery that u might of stoped u did good for few weeks and then u drank i wish i was born with powers i would make booz disapear