When i was six i was molested by my cousin went i was seven all my cousins and brothers where involved then i was raped at 15 on my birthday while growing up with an abusive family i met a boy i fell for him was faithful while he wasnt and he turned to beating me. I have no family no friends and am about to loose my home because some jerk photo shopped a picture a nudy one and posted it all over fb… i no longer want to try fight or anything… i just wanna die im alone and i was always told […]
I just lost my fiance, house, kids, family and im done. Dont honestly know why im posting. Maybe just to get it out tgere and make it final
Fuck N Die (I wanna) Fuck N Die (We gonna ) Fuck N Die (I’m a Goner)Fuck N Die (I dont wanna live no longer) imma bout to bust inside never before have I felt so alive I can see my life flashing right before my eyes as I slide my hand ever so gently across your thighs you got me feeling all warm and fluffy inside it got you hot,wet and moisturized and for a second you even got me forgetting that I’m wanting to die but I’m sure it will all come back in due time ,until then it’s game time the balls […]
I can keep it together for pretty long. Sunglasses on, hair down, blank fuckin stare.
Threw up “mop that shit up with your hair *****, i want you to get on your fucking knees and mop it up. You’re lucky i dont make you eat it.”
Lol. Call me a monkey, I love monkeys, im a ****, i love that word, very empowering.
Keep it together, don’t laugh, for gods sake don’t cry. I’ll be laughing when I’m selling my engagement ring. I’ll be […]
its been a tough couple of years..sixth grade and up was bad. my eighth grade year, my dad passed away..two months before i entered high school. R>I.P 7/19 i entered 9th grade alone and lost…i hated the world and i had a huge gap in my heart..from 7th til this day, i used self harm as an escape..after my dad passed away from cancer, i didnt eat and i constantly self harmed..a week and a half before homecoming, i lost all my friends due to rumors that everyone made up..saying i slept around and did drugs..none of it ever happened and none of it was […]
This is the beginning of the end…please something speed the journey
still wake up hopeless and not sure the point anymore to this sick world. im just surviving .my life was shit before but now its major shit since he left me..they all fucking leave me..fuck life. Like im loosing everything. soon my home. bf left me. my father dont give two shits to even call me and see how im doing. nobody understands how hard just everyday life is. im in debt from school which i barely got by from my panic disorder. it was so bad last year I became agoraphobic. i get out more but its pretty pointless because i cant really enjoy […]
Every since i was little i have had this feeling of something being missing or broken inside. Elementary school was okay because i wasn’t self aware enough to understand what i felt. I cried every day of middle school because i was weird poor and ugly and everybody i liked hated me. Writing that sounds so over dramatic but i think thats one of my problems too. I feel things so deeply. I dont know if its deeper than others but love and hate and sadness consume me when i feel them. I start operating off feelings and logic goes out the window. High school […]
This ain’t about what I been through that took its course depression and ptsd is a ***** I self harm cuts cover my body between doctor visits seeing a physiatrist and medicine I still feel the same maybe because I’m alone. My parents say I do what white people do I tried to explain that self harm has no specific race or color I’m hurting inside why cant you see?? They just can’t stand to take the blame for what they’ve done. I’ve tried twice already and boy am I ashamed two many failed attempts it’s like I was meant to be here and suffer […]
I went driving. Thinking “how fast do i need to drive into this tree to kill me and cash.” [cash is my dog by the way] What kept running through my head was my baby. I cant leave him but i don’t have the heart to kill him.
I shoulda drove off the road that night.
Its hard to fight depression man. Its like it creeps up and takes over. And im doin what im supposed to but when im alone, my mind wonders. I get sad. I have thoughts. I hate bein alone.
I got my whole world wrapped up in a dog. When […]
I’m forgetting him. I don’t remember what he sounded like without listening to a video. I have a faint memory of it, but it’s fleeting. I honestly think I’m going to forget him completely. I can’t do that. I mss him and I can’t stand the fact that I’m never going to see him again. I’ll never see that cute little crinkle in his nose or his weirdly thick eyelashes. His fucking blonde hair and his stupid fucking face. I wish I could feel something. I can’t tell if I’m mad at him or if I’m sad or if im just fuckedd up. He left […]
Man i hate life, but if the shoe fits, wear it.
i hate myself for being born on this evil planet.
if i could kill and get away with it ill make these fuckin Christians pay in blood because they know inside they fuckin did it.
I bathe in pain because my life is in a fucking mess.
Don’t say you understand because you dont know how i stress.
i think about suicide all the time because i wanna die so bad and it dont matter that im fuckin pressed.
Take a moment to think about what i see.
All i see are ghosts of […]
The demon in my head just keeps getting louder every day. It’s to the point where everything around me is tuned out and he is all I can hear. I cant silence him. I’m at the point where im ready to listen, I just want peace. Ive chosen antifreeze and gatorade combo. Ive done thorough research and believe this is the best method for me. I only want peace.
ok so im an atheist myself but i find it hard to understand why most atheists find it necessary to bash religious people is it that hard to except the fact that other people have just as much of a right to believe what they want as you do if you think about it in the long run we all have the same problem after death religious people will not if know they were wrong and atheists will not know if we were right and on the same note religious people will know if they were right and atheists will know if we were wrong […]
God is boring . boring God .
why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ?
why God is boring ?
I hate this world . I hate this life . I hate life .
This world is so boring , boring world !
This life is so boring , boring life ! life is boring .
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, […]
Sometimes I wonder why I even stick around anymore. I mean yeah.. there are people who “love” me but they never seem to truly get it. Fact is, im exhausted. Plain and simple as that. i feel unloved, unwanted, uncherished.. pretty much just forgotten by society. Everything that I am and everything that is perceived to be me are completely disingenuous. Its all an act, a part I have to play so that people around me dont lose their minds.
But what is that point? I wake up each day knowing exactly how eveything is gonna pan out. The monotny of life and suffering is all […]
As the description says. A friend of mine just did it this monday. And all i can think of is that im jelaus of him. He had the guts to do it. To finally get the eternal rest.
He had been hospitalized for a time now, and he was just on his way out this week. But he came to his senses and did it just before he was to get out. I really hope that i will have the curage to do it soon. If he, that was so sucsessfull in every way (great body, best job, articles writed about him..) could do it, then […]
Today makes 11 years since i last saw you. 11 whole years since i walked out of your apartment and got into mom’s car. 11 years since you followed me out to tell me you loved me. 11 years since i last looked at you standing in front of me, 11 years since you loaded a gun and ended our lives. i swear i went with you when you died. who i was back then, that girl that loved life and people. that girl that wasnt full of sadness so deep that it literally radiates out into physical pain. i wonder what i would be […]
Hello.
I dont really know if this is how im supposed to write this but anways. I’ve been lurking this site for a while and i finally decided to make an account. I guess i should introduce myself ( to whoever is reading this ), anywas not gonna share my real name but lets say my name is Cyne. I’m 18 year old male and have been dealing with depression since around 11-12 years old, maybe even before that but i didnt really notice that it was effecting me. I guess the major part of my depression and thought of suicide is being alone, dumb reason […]
ive been wondering all this while. why am i so ugly, fat and stupid? people keep leaving me and that’s not ok. ive started cutting about a month ago and it is addictive. im doing it all day without even stopping. sad is the new happy and pain is the new cure. bye!