Let me start off by saying I’m not new on this forum and that I have been suffering for a while now and I can’t take it anymore. I’m almost 17 years old and I have been fighting severe depression for several years now. This will be my last year of being in high school and I don’t even know if i’m going to graduate on stage with my class. I’m to stupid to even pass some of my classes as my anxiety and depression kicks in and I can’t focus or concentrate in any of my classes. There is this one test that my […]
Tag:
in my head
I dont know what to do, I have really bad mood swings.. ups and downs.. cant controlhow myself.
Last year, I tried to get help by a psychotherapist because of that and because I have bad anxiety, couldnt go into a little bit crowded place without wanting to cry out of panic and feeling (but not doing) I’ll pee myself, but I realized that the therapy wasn’t helping and I am the only one who can help my self and so I stopped going there. The Therapist doesn’t seem to understand me. Getting that fact and starting to meditate, I really felt like I got myself […]
I’m just like sitting here. Just sitting on my bed and thinking about all the things I should do, but I don’t want to move. I don’t have the motivation to do anything. Every other sentence in my head is “What’s the point, I should just kill myself.” I mean I don’t want to do anything, I feel lifeless. It’s not like anyone wants me, I don’t even want me.
I’m jealous. Not with what you would think, but I’m jealous of the people that gained enough courage to end their life. I’m jealous of the people that have cancer. Believe me, I’d trade my healthy body for yours. I know I don’t want to be here. I’m 19 and I already have my will written waiting on the day I finally muster enough courage and kill myself. I actually laugh because I like to cut myself to feel the pain and see me bleeding but I want a painfree death. I try to be happy but I fool everybody but myself. I’m not happy. […]
Give me a reason, I see no hope I see no point in existence. We are doomed to wander this plane. Without purpose Without a cause All I know is that…
by Rotted_Flesh
written by Rotted_Flesh
Give me a reason
I see no hope
I see no point in existence
We are doomed to wander this plane
Without purpose
Without a cause
All I know is that…
We are the salt of the Earth
In that we salt this Earth with our bodies
Conceived as a curse
Condemned as a child of waste
We are born hanged
And we die in peace
Lay our bodies to rest
We do not fear death
Usurp our legacy
Spare us an eternity
In Hell
We are nothing but a jilted existence
Conscience in a prison of flesh
Forsaken life
Conceived as a curse
Condemned as a […]
I have been self harming for as far back as i could remember. I think it started when i was about 10ish. I would bank my head against the wall to stop what ever was going on in my head at the time. I would love to see the bruises develop on areas I hurt. I was always known as the accident prone child. I remember one time i must have been about 12. I threw myself off my bike and scraped myself down a brick wall. I would try and keep under the radar by not making the injuries obvious. I progressed to cutting […]
Well, I managed to survive another birthday. I had this song stuck in my head all day, enjoy. (or don’t, up to you)
It’s a terrible statement but I never let it leave my side. That sickening realization that I’m done with this fight. Moments kneeling on the bedroom floor sickened by the entity I had absorbed, no more. I would not let the self-scrutinizing endeavor endure a precipice a monologue questioning my every motive. My disaster stricken heart feeling broken, my emotions quoted spilling out of a broken vase taking the place of what was once your emotion.
Diluted with tears, an open book scribbled with fears engraved pools of ink I’m vocally shook; and I’m tired of telling myself that it’s gonna change.
Taken by the spectacular lie […]
I’ve got it worked out in my head
I may go tonight
But i need a bottle of something –
If it works, goodbye…
Life, you are a fucking cruel joke
I’m DONE
I’ve totally fucked my life. Over the past 7 years I’ve self-injured. At my worst I didn’t care if I lived or died, I just needed an escape. Something to shut up the voice in my head, and let me breathe again. Now I’m almost 20 and the career that I’ve dreamed about my whole life is impossible because of the scars I have. And I understand why it’s a PDQ, but that doesn’t help me not beat myself up for fucking this up. And I also know that my mental instability was caused by circumstances beyond my control and occurred at a time in […]
My first post…
I often think of how welcoming of death I am. Some say they are scared, I am not. If I could only wave a wand and poof!
I have many many things in my life to be thankful for, particularly two kids that I could never see leaving.
i battle depression alone. My wife is the only person that knows, but she would never understand the thoughts in my head.
i have no real direction with this post, just rambling. I’m just excited to be here. I will post again.
just wanted to introduce myself.
suicidal thoughts consume me…..
i feel like everyone hates me, nobody likes me…. whats wrong with me….
my lab partner decided to switch partners without even telling me – yes cause she doesnt like me…
everybody at work hates me……. im not even doing anything.
and now at home, he hates me.
what if im dead instead, ill be gone. for sure they’ll be hurt, shocked, and probably will move one eventually. but i will get my peace… forgive me Lord, you know whats in my head or what im feeling
i have nobody to talk to. even my managers wont talk to me. theyre useless. you cant even voice […]
Be human, they always said. Even when they held me in that bed and punctured my skin with some rusty nails. Be human, they repeated, as they tattooed that triangle in my back and told me that I would be perfect…with those…those things in my head and a black ooze in my veins. They said that those voices that haunted me were just computers repeating what I though, feeding from a certain emotion that they were made to target. Then they said I was the perfect hunter, the pacifier that would save mankind. They said that I was going to be the one that would […]
Round and round it all goes in my head. I don’t think I can live a meaningful life. And that hurts. So I think I want to end it. But that would destroy my family, and I can’t do that to them. So I’m left with this pain. Which just feels……unbearable. And I can’t think of anything that will make it stop. I would cry, but it doesn’t help.
So, this pain, for the rest of my life. It seems to get worse as I get older, and further away from a time when I had hope.
I guess the only question is how I want to […]
I don’t use this shit really but in the past week or so shits been really fucked and I just want to write this all down somewhere because it’s all bottled up in my head. For the past two years nothing anybody says or does to me affects me. Whether it’s good or bad I’m indifferent. I’ve heard it all. If someone told me I should kill myself it wouldn’t affect me because I’ll be doing just that soon enough, and there’s nothing that could change my mind about killing myself. Nothing anyone can do or say that will make me suddenly think living is […]
Over the entire 16 years that I have been alive, many people have told me different things. Now you woukd think that all the good things woukd stick with me and make me feel better, but that is not the way that this stupid ball of dirt we live on works. All the negative, mean, and hurtful things have stuck with me and I keep hearing these voices in my head repeating them. I can hear “Are you really that self-centered?” “When you lived with your mom, you were so horrible I alnost didn’t want to come back.” and “I have known you for over […]
I had such a traumatic experience over the weekend on Saturday. It was so horrible, that everything that happened is still so vivid and clear in my head. I can’t thank my boyfriend enough for comforting me. I posted another video. This song gets my mind off of the anxiety and stress.
Hi. This is my first post being on here and I am sort of scared to share my story with everyone. But I will try my best to tell it in the least amount of words possible.
Well, I am 16 and I have bad thoughts almost everyday. I have hated myself for the past few years and I would say it really start when I was turning 13. I started to have feelings for my best friend, who is a girl, and I thought that I was some disgusting freak of nature. My mom was okay with it when I came out to her but […]
I know that most of you don’t know my story or what I’ve been through and what I’m going through now, the thing is, my story is a little too long, but right now…I just need help…my parents keep dragging me down and day by day my suicidal thoughts grow bigger and bigger and bigger…I’m just about ready to put on my black dress, my white floral heels, my floral black net leggings, do my hair and make-up, right a good bye note to my family and take the bottle of pills I’ve been stashing up, 197 of them 20mg each, that’s 3,940mg in me, […]
The shadow of darkness is too much to bear.
This life, this misery, must come to an end.
No more will I suffer this nightmare.
Too much is broken, too much to mend.
The demons torture and destroy me in my head.
Here and now this nightmare ends, it’s time to put these demons to bed.
On this day I will live and die.
On this day I say goodbye.