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in the

Another rant….

by Adderallslits 8/11/2014

written by Adderallslits

It’s 4:am.

countless cigarett and broken thoughts, and here I am again. Awake in the dead of night, alone in the darkness. It’s quite scary actually, the things you can get used to. My thoughts are running wild…my thoughts are running deep. I can never run away from the way I truly feel. The days are okay, I just run on rutin. Breath in, breath out, go to school, eat,drink, speak. Life is just a habit, I just do the things I need to do. Don’t think. Don’t feel. I’m shut down. I’m disconnected. My life is my rutin. It’s weird how little remains of me.

I […]

8/11/2014 0 comment

Firehouse

by iamsamijo 8/11/2014

written by iamsamijo

I hate living by the hospital. My apartment just happens to be in between two firehouses, as well. At the bottom of the hill sits the police station. I hate this location.
I thought I would enjoy it, being walking distance to work and the train line. I figured I’d be safer in this part of the community, so close to all emergency services. I assumed it would give me peace of mind. It’s an inevitable contradiction in my soul.
I hear sirens daily, hourly at times, for minutes on end. Where are they going? My roommates and coworkers go about their day, it’s unknown […]

8/11/2014 4 comments

by why i dont no 8/11/2014

written by why i dont no

now thats a song i could die to thats a song i could cloce my eyes and stop my heart to thats a song i could shut down my braine to and let my taterd sole be huged and kissed by an angel to thats a song that gives me hope in the dark gives a reson to die for me but i whant to be here with her im only going if she goes and hopefuly she whont but if she dose thats what i will go to so i can be held by the mother earth and her so i can smile close […]

8/11/2014 0 comment

My point of view

by lostandtired 8/11/2014

written by lostandtired

I’m new here, just made an account. Anyway I’m a 22 year old guy. I was recently diagnosed with epilepsy and that has been having my depression worse then ever. I’ve been depressed for my whole life. I honestly can’t think of the last time I was truly happy. I don’t think I ever have been. Life is too much right now. I don’t want to keep doing this because staying alive feels like it’s killing me. The non stop doctors apointments have ruined my sad at best social life. Never had lots of friends. Always only had two or three but they were the […]

8/11/2014 2 comments

Hell of a journey

by lopez 8/11/2014

written by lopez

By the end of my junior year and beginning of my senior year of high school so many things were going through my head. Also at that time my high school ex had broken up with me. So much confusion because she was my first love, we cared about each other tremendously, and she was all i could think about. But when she told me that she didnt want to be together any more it shattered me a bit. I played it cool for a few months, but just seeing her hurt even more. A year has passed and she graduated already. I remember visiting […]

8/11/2014 0 comment

by why i dont no 8/11/2014

written by why i dont no

i see my self not just as a wast of space but as a thing to be toyed with its all i have been all my life i had hope but now shes drifting away im loseing evreything i love in the space of a few weeks befor i left for a wile befor i came back here i had some ider of what i was doing but now love and my mind are fading and my hope if i had any is gone

my sole is cold and leeking out of my body im a ship in space drifting a hulk thats all i am a emptey […]

8/11/2014 0 comment

To EvilOni22 and Shephard

by bayareaguy 8/11/2014

written by bayareaguy

Hello JS and Shepard….. I’m writing from my little apartment in Puerto Vallarta. I moved here on August 1st and will be here until the end of January. I, too, have stayed away from the site for my own reasons…. taking a break is sometimes a good thing.

I just want to say that the two of you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I still have down days but nothing like the darkness that plagued me for so long in the last 5 years.

JS, I was so blessed to hear from you personally a while back. Your strength has given me strength. Shephard, I […]

8/11/2014 3 comments

dont wanna try anymore

by passionfruit3 8/10/2014

written by passionfruit3

It feels like the only way to get people to care is if your dead or in critical condition man I swear if I had a gun id blow myself away.i just got out out of the er for trying to kill myself twice in one day. They let me in the morning and by night time I was back and they let me go again.the reason im upset though is cause the psychiatrist said my problems are not considered a crisis. I dont usually speak up for myself but I wish I had told him to go fuck himself.i have put off suicide attempts […]

8/10/2014 3 comments

didunt even get out the door

by why i dont no 8/10/2014

written by why i dont no

well lastnight whent… well when i landed it knocked all the wind out of me i gave one hell of a yelp should of kept my trap shut chould of bled out cos of my arm insted mum came out and you can just imagin how much she freeked out i feel so sorry for her thay wiped all the blood of my arm and bandaged it up couldent beare the imbarisment of a suicidel son how whould that efect them and there reputashion “oh my” takes the piss im not upset i didunt die any more im up set cos my mum and dad […]

8/10/2014 5 comments

pain

by too_orange 8/9/2014

written by too_orange

This world…….this life ….this day …people believe they Know pain….the truth is no one can describe pain…its not a word every individual can answer…. The word pain can only be described by you….you yourself can explain what it is you think pain is…teenagers believe that every problem is suicidal and what their going through is so bad it can only be cured by death……there friends may think they know what’s wrong and tell them stop its okay …they love u …stop hurting and talk to me….and for some that will change there feelings ….people who do accept the comments made by their friends just means […]

8/9/2014 0 comment

Wasted Life Part 2

by Durmmy 8/9/2014

written by Durmmy

So I wrote a post, actually my first post on this site entitled “Wasted Life”. It was pretty much about the story of me and my ex-girlfriend and the effect its had on my life for the last twenty years. It was a story that I felt I needed to share with somebody…anybody to show the extent that one person can have on your life when you focus all your love on them and no one else. I received some good comments from others on there when I posted it, and today I received a few other comments, which surprised me since I didn’t think […]

8/9/2014 12 comments

am i the only one..

by the boy 8/8/2014

written by the boy

that is tired of getting that same shit in the face by people who just got what do i know have a boyfrend who broke up with them and then they start saying their life sucks and no one knows pain evry day i fucking go with a preesure in my eyes like i am going to cry i have lost so must family got bulied beaten and forced to do stuff i dont want i now i just dont know. im in hell cant get out of hell but i can lay down and give people an step more to get out.

8/8/2014 1 comment

So this is what it feels like?

by forgetting2forget 8/8/2014

written by forgetting2forget

I wonder how many of you on here actually went through with it, part of me doesn’t want to, the thought, the idea of just not existing, used to haunt me. But maybe it’s because part of me always knew I wasn’t supposed to exist in the first place. I was a mistake, and not just to my parents, but to the universe. I have nothing to offer except making other peoples lives as miserable as mine. Every time I’ve ever tried, at anything, I have failed. And those closest to me laugh about it. They laugh when I hurt, that has to mean something, […]

8/8/2014 5 comments

Why not?

by soulcry 8/8/2014

written by soulcry

Sitting in my room in the dark. No one notices me. I’m alone. Why not just end this misery? Why not end the pain? Why not just make everyone happy and do it? They all want me to die anyways. Nothing matters anymore. Just death. Because Every time you go to sleep you die and someone else wakes up and takes your place. You are trapped in your own mind. You’re life is a lie. A figment of your imagination. There is nothing but death in this place we are forced to believe is real. For nothing is real but death. So why not?

8/8/2014 13 comments

Lonely girl

by Stargazer 8/8/2014

written by Stargazer

All your empty smiles

All your broken dreams

All your willful desires

Are floating down the stream

You say I can make it

You say that I’m strong

But all these scars only prove

That you are very wrong

Because I know what is true

I’m bound to die a lonely girl

Always feeling blue

I just keep on walking

One step then another

Hoping I am going

In the right direction

But all the signs say opposite

Where am I

I wonder

I’m stuck in the awful place

That is called my home

Where all my demons try to suck my soul

So please don’t try to tell me

That I’ll be alright

Because I know what is true

I’m bound to die a lonely girl

Always feeling blue

There […]

8/8/2014 0 comment

morning thougts

by noir 8/8/2014

written by noir

Why does it hurts so much to wake up?

Its because we were having a good dream, or just becuese we return back to life.

Today i woke up and drank the first pill even before breakfast, i headed to the kitchen asking myself if that living full of pills its living at all? Well i took some breakfast and returned ti bed, yes thats where i am, i want to cry and i want to scream, but shhhh, there is more people in the house we are not alone, and as the time go by i still look to the backyard, seeking, hoping to se something […]

8/8/2014 0 comment

Feeling the………

by PeelASquid 8/7/2014

written by PeelASquid

Look into my eyes,

What do you see?

Look into them hard,

Look at the real me.

Empty and dark,

Spirit is dead.

Feeling the numbness,

Inside my head.

Heart cold as steel,

Heart cold as ice,

Giving my love,

It paid the price.

The heart it beats on,

Keeps the body alive,

Demons inside me,

It’s where they thrive.

The struggle goes on,

Goes on each day.

The fight comes to an end.

In the coffin I lay.

8/7/2014 6 comments

Drugs

by Sammie Motionless 8/7/2014

written by Sammie Motionless

Welp lets see its all in the name ive started to do…… coke now not weed n pills or k2 anymore I moved up to coke and u no I think its cause I just stopped caring I was doing so good then my friends crashed into my family in the back nothing happened then my gpa got mad told me its always my fault for stuff like this and then my friends made me really happy then my gpa again fucks it up tells me im stupid and crazy well maybe I am I just ugh I give up drugs music thats what helps […]

8/7/2014 8 comments

Dear Cattygirl

by cattygirl96 8/7/2014

written by cattygirl96

Congratulations Cattygirl, leader of the free mind. You’ve not only led yourself into a distinct glass case of personal emotion, but you’ve also blinded yourself from the opportunities of ever getting out.

See, you’ve met someone. Not in the romantic sense, but a new optimism. He sees the world in you. The world of chances, the world of past regrets molded into morals. And you’ve decided, through lack of individual distinction that you will give this boy your undivided attention, whilst also shielding him from ever knowing the real you.

But who honestly is the real you? Do you even know anymore? All this talk of moving […]

8/7/2014 1 comment

I Am This Way

by TheStranger17 8/6/2014

written by TheStranger17

I’ve decided that night time often is the worst time of day for me. How cliché – the worst comes with the darkness. I don’t like the dark. I’m sat in it now, with the dim light of my laptop illuminating my typing fingers and not much else. I try to familiarise myself with it, to know that I’m safe in my room when it’s dark just as much as when there is light.

I don’t know why this fear came back. Honestly, I do not understand, I got over my fear of the dark when I was a kid… but this past year or so, […]

8/6/2014 2 comments

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