Tag:
isolate
Sometimes I think there’s never been
A highway so wide and mean
Leading to a room so cold and bare
Faded pictures on the wall
Stories of a past untold
Sunny beaches turn to ruthless tide
There’s a new motel in town
It’s called the end of broken dreams
There’s a new place in town
It’s called the end of broken dreams
Out of the blue my name is fear
And I’ll haunt you if I care
Out of this world my game is clear
And I’ll catch you if I dare
But there is no time for me to stay
Maybe it’s time to ride the ray
Maybe tomorrow never comes
Crawling lizards in the sun
Do we part like fallen leaves
Like […]
Dammit. I try so friggin hard to keep my mouth shut, but I can’t seem to isolate myself properly. Nobody should have to deal with my sad BS, but I am and always will be a whiney, stupid loser. I get weak, and I cave, and I burden others with my helpless garbage. Gah. I wish I could get some rest and turn my brain off.
I should be feeling something better than this. Just a few weeks away from getting that god forsaken undergraduate degree-in psychology no less. Registered for classes in the fall getting, a Masters in social work, I think. I don’t know what I want though. It is so anti-climactic. I feel pretty numb most the time because I am stuffing those feelings until after finals. My therapist mentioned self-sabotage last week, he kind of took it back this week though. Bought a house. Living alone, trying not to isolate, helps that my sister lives across the street. Honest though, I feel restless. Like I am waiting to […]
i fucked up my arm last night. it still feels tingly and weird (and painful), and i think it’s still bleeding… i’m so fucked if i need stitches. i just wanted to see the blood drip. i didn’t want to mess my arm up like this.
in other news, i haven’t seen or spoken to my family in a week, and even though it was my choice to isolate myself, i still feel like crap. hearing them laugh and get along just fine without me, no concern whether i’m dead or not in this tiny room… i mean, this is what i wanted. i don’t want […]
Now what am i to do? Ive had depression and suffered for so long. i’m nearly 50 and w/o all hope. what am i to do? the best i can do is sleep as much as i can to just isolate b/c when i am around others i am always getting hurt. its a pathetic merry-go-round that i can get off of. i can even explain how i fee; and i certainly dont know what to do. sorry i have to exist. just sorry.
He wanted me Because he was afraid of being alone
He wanted to show me off
He wanted to isolate me
When my world stopped revolving around him
He stopped caring
A ring on my finger
That meant nothing
It was just another way to mark me
A way to mark his territory
I always knew I was easy to forget
But did he have to move on so quick?
I always knew I was nothing special
But I never thought I was just a sick thrill
That was Allan.
I thought he was my best friend
I grew to like his fiance
We got along well
Alcohol… makes me feel great for a few hours then horrible for about 24. Last night I drank two-thirds of a bottle of wine, way too much for this middle-aged woman. Pills have never been my friend and I try to avoid sedatives as much as possible, but insomnia, a companion since childhood seriously kicked in the past few months along with my suicidal tendencies, and I’ve been reaching for that bottle of pills too often. While the pill hangover is zombie-like the booze makes me want to die even more than ever.
In the past year I’ve managed to almost completely isolate […]
I guess this is the way I do it:
1. Push everyone away from me because I don’t deserve their love. I’m too unworthy for it.
2. Run into someplace where no one can find you and have no ways of contacting you. i.e., isolate yourself. Keep your phone somewhere and try to forget about it. Or switch it to Airplane mode. Yeah.
3. Hide. Remain in your bubble. A quiet bubble floating in the sea of noises.
So much for trying to distract yourself from the truth. So much for trying to forget and run away from it. So much for trying to create excuses.
Stop trying to […]
I don’t deserve to be happy, because I don’t have enough experience to connect with others in proper way, without neurotic symptoms. I have lived in my own world too long. I thought I have managed it because I have found friends on college, and had very strong relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years. But I was breaking the rules: I used to push my boundaries, I’ve used magical thinking when I didn’t have time or intelligence to do things right (like I’ll be funny girl, although I used to isolate myself in school, I’ll be good student although I was losing all my […]
I’m trying to cut ties from those who are trying to get close to me. I already have many relatives to mourn for me, but I’d rather not bring outsiders heartache when I free myself. It sounds selfish and heartless, but the pain I feel in my heart gets heavier each passing day. It makes more sense to isolate this pain in one specific group rather than have it explode out of proportion, even though that may happen anyway.
I live alone in my mind with my demons and I’m doing a pretty good job keeping them entertained. They shouldn’t know about these inhabitants, they will […]
If you have recently lost someone to suicide, you might feel the following…
You will cry for perhaps hundreds of days on end. You might suffer severe sleep deprivation or sleep too much.
You may blame a lot of people, become extremely angry and vent on a lot of people.
You will probably be very unhappy with how people treat you in that they will avoid and ignore you as they cannot cope with the situation themselves, especially family who might isolate you as they do themselves.
There will be many unanswered questions.
The relief is, that if you are able to digest what has […]
I come here tonight to freely express my feelings and thoughts without the fear of being judged and with the hope that someone out there may understand. Okay ….let’s be honest, there’s still a shit load of fear, but I say fuck it.
I’m still having quite a rough time. My depression is weighing heavy in my head. Can barely lift it up. My isolation is at an all time high. The majority of my  “friends” are occupied anyway. I don’t feel like I have any true friends. But I’m sure my isolation had a big part in that. I just have no drive. I’m afraid […]