So, my problem may seem stupid to everyone, but its something that has been bothering me for a long time. My best friend… I guess former best friend and I have always fought since about a year after I met him (which was 4 years ago). We had a ton in common back then, and have changed since then and are pretty different now. However, we have always remained great friends minus the fighting all the time. Which, I may say, a lot of the fighting has been my fault as much as his. But, a few weeks ago, it got really bad. He started […]
Job
If I had a gun right now, I wouldnt be typing this.. i would be dead. Unluckily for me, I live in Ireland.
There is nothing wrong with my life and nothing that I cant change.I just lack the motivation to do whats best for myself and use my talents. I know where im going wrong but I choose to do nothing. Im the only one at fault, I dont blame the world for my own lack of effort. The truth is that life just bores me… learn to drive, get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids and die. That pretty much […]
Ok..my day was going good, until I walked into a restaurant and saw my ex husbands family. It shouldn’t bother me, knowing they were not the ones hurting me..but of course it still ruined my day. I know in my heart that ive loved all I can..tried the best I can so why can I not get over the feeling of betrayel and sadness. Ive worked all my life..never went on vacation unless I paid for it myself. Took my ex a few places..even out of the country but he never wanted to take his family anywhere..including mcdonalds. His girlfriend and him would keep me […]
((sorry that this is song long… p.s i hav the tendency to write “have” as “hav” and “back” as “bac” and “you” as “yu”))
I’m new to this site. The fact that I found it by accident or fate I hav no clue yet. I might as well start writing because it seems that it does help at least from what friends hav told me to do. I’m taking their advice to figure things out and try to help myself through things that I do go through and think negatively about.
Where to begin… well I hav tried to commit suicide before by cutting and taking […]
About four years ago, my life fell apart with no catalyst. I suddenly realised just how futile my existence was. I was in a job I didn’t enjoy that fed nothing but the pockets of some well seated theatre types, I lived on my own and was miles away from any of my friends. All of my life I’ve felt I’ve never really contributed to anything, materially, socially or emotionally. I was utterly isolated and I knew nobody missed me. Right now, I’m in a different job, living in a flat with a friend who, since moving in with me, has made it patently clear that […]
after that last post, it hit me like a broad seeing red; my entire life is an act. No wonder I’m so tired. The minute I leave my apartment, I’m weighed down by the way I have to be to get ahead, to get by, to not be harassed etc etc. I guess in a sense we all do it, but everything I say is a farce. I don’t celebrate holidays anymore, I dropped all superstitions, minimized/simplified my diet; I’m trying to live the way an evolved human might. The world around me doesn’t make sense and I worry about who I’m to become, […]
Im so freaking tired of having to fake my way through life I go to work and have to pretend im fine cuz if anybody there knew the truth ( i hate myself and want to die) they would never trust me again and wouldn’t let em do my job the only thing I have in my life that actually keeps me grounded I fucking hate my life why can’t i be a better person I mean what the hell is wrong with me that when I got frustrated at work today my first thought was to strangle myself and my second was to chop […]
All the people who treated me like shit and accused me for bulling in the past wont stop picking on me. I have no job my parents are disabled no one ever seems to help me here in Cornwall. They all talk about how well theyy have it made and how acceped they all are and scream told you so to me. Im probably take my own life at the end of this month because no one knows i even exist yet alone help me.!!!!
My mood lately has been up and down. But I came to a breakthrough. I don’t want to kill myself anymore (unless I’m feeling real down then the thoughts come back) but overall I don’t. I realize I’m going to die one day anyways so I’ll deal with all the crap til I do. Cause 80 years really isn’t that long (if i’m that lucky).
I still feel like shit, try not to think about what a failure I am but it’s very apparent in my life so not thinking about it or being aware is hard to do.
Momz is irritating once again trying to intervene […]
I hate humans/humanity, society, and this real world, it’s all meaningless. I’m a misanthrope.
It is sad that now I don’t feel like I’m a “human” anymore, or want to be associated with a being called “human”. I mostly hate humanity nowadays, and have become a Misanthrope, and disillusioned as well with this so-called “real world”. it sucks, and Humanity, though I used to believe it has so much hidden potentials, yet now I unfortunately can’t help but feeling Humanity is largely hopeless: we’re destroying our own Planet, animals, and even killing our fellow species over some stupid, close-minded, most ignorant & selfish, senseless reasons..
Can anybody here relate?…what to do then?…
Here’s a complete and detailed ‘rant’ of mine, if […]
let me start by saying, i tried to kill myself in 2003 by slitting my wrists, i made a mistake of doing it outside and i made such a scene that i was found before i could end what i had started (pity).I have never spoken to any of my friends about that night.The only person who knows what happened is me so i hope i press publish (Which will be a big moment for me ).Roll forward to 2012 and the battle inside is in full flow.I havent had a job since 2003 either which hasnt helped me (i have something wrong with me which makes it nearly impossible for anyone to […]
For as long as I can remember, I always thought that I’d live a shorter life than most people.  I’m not sure why.  But, it’s generally been a thought that has sit with me for many years.  I even had a particular age that would  come to mind.  Well, I’m that age this year.
So, I look at my life now and realize that I have several circumstances that are rather distressing. Â Certainly, many people would say that “life for you is not over” and that I have many options, many good qualities, things will work out, etc. Â True, people would also realize that I have […]
Spent New Years Eve completely alone. I have nothing left to live for. I have no real friends, no job, no education, am ugly, have never had a girlfriend and am still a virgin in my mid 20’s. I have never even kissed a girl. Truly pathetic. I have crippling social anxiety and am too scared to even go about seeing a prostitute. I just need to muster up enough energy and courage to go through with my plan and not fuck up and I will never have to endure another moment as myself… I genuinely wish everyone that is here who still have hope […]
I lost the most important person to me. my grandma. i handled most of it well. i stayed strong for my family. i kept everyone postive and focused while she was dying. but upon  her death i got stupid drunk and started asking for ridiculous shit from people close to  me dumping even more budens on them. i did this under the guise of anxiety and with the understandng that i wouldnt remember.  i dont think that the shit ive asked from my friends or family was too bad but, it extended to my coworkers.  now, they all know that im a ridiculous drunk. i […]
Help! I feel trapped in this human body & physical world existence/limitation, is there a way to escape out from it?
I often feel like I can’t relate to this material, physical earthly world anymore, and the majority of people here on this planet earth.
I often feel like there must be something MORE than this limited existence of our human body,
or I’m afraid if it’s all my human’s “creative” wishful-thinking and made-up escapism feeling/story..
does my human brain playing all these tricks on me, or it is really REAL: that there are indeed something much MORE that I can access/connect/tap into?..but I just need to find HOW to do it?..
Tell me please: is there really something MORE that I can do and ‘ascend/transcend’ in […]
Your job?
Your money?
Your family?
Your friends?
Your fame?
Your reputation?
Your lovers?
…. Why are you happy or Why are you unhappy?
I’m 58 years old, working in Iraq so my wife could spend time with her sister and our nephew who died of brain cancer 1-Nov-11. I came here for her, for my family and stayed though I hated being away from my home and family, I stayed because they were proud of me.
Up until coming here in May-2011, the longest I’ve been separated from my wife was three weeks while she visited our son in Japan. She has wanted to go to Japan for as long as I’ve known her and when our granddaughter was born there, my son was in […]
1. What is your job?
or what do you study?
2. Do you like it? or hate it? or fucking hate it, but have little to no choice?
3. And is you’re feeling suicidal also related with your job/working life?
perhaps feeling meaningless, and hate life?
4. Last but not least, why don’t you pursue your dreams, or your dream-job, or what makes you happy?
What makes you hesitate?
thanks.
I think people often only look at the ‘good’ sides of the money system, but overlooking (or even neglecting) many ‘bad’ sides, in fact perhaps much more than the ‘good/positive’ of the money system! that is IMHO where lies the main problem of all the constant debates & misunderstandings.
The fall of U.S & Europe financial crisis (and soon perhaps the world’s economic collapse, in 2012) have somewhat really proved about this.
People need to seriously look at the Bigger Picture of things, to be very objective, of what Money (system) also caused to humanity.
Out of curiosity, have any of you here ever heard of: […]