What the fuck would you do when
Most friends are not as close as they should
When politics and world’s health hurts
When you’ve been brilliantly single more than idiots more than bad people deserve
I’m not depressed, I just hate the system we live in, politics and the games people play
It made me sick, I’m stuck inside myself,
Nothings changing, Watching everyone,
Every moron be happy and progress
While I dream of not waking up
While the earth is dying from millenials of greed. conversely the only thing giving me hope is the imminent apocalypse.
It’s not depression, it’s my today, it was
Tag:
kill me
I just lost a 500 dollar check. Kill me. I do stupid shit like this all the time and I’m honestly so tired of myself I should be put down or something this is ridiculous.
I guess I am writing this for everyone else out there who understands what I’ve gone through. To know you aren’t alone nor are you ever alone no matter how much you may feel that way its not true. I have been battling depression and suicidal tendencies since I was 8 years old. From age 9 to 17 I was raped and molested by my friends father. He is in jail now, but it really messed me up. I started cutting starving binging and purging because i needed to control something again because of how much I had lost. I didn’t know what else to […]
This is it. I’ve finally reached the ultimate irreversible thought of suicide, and never going back to the ‘so called’ dumb shit life. It’s gonna be a slow suicide anyway, it’ll probably take about 2 weeks for me to be completely dead, without being taken to the hospital. Now the hardest part is to pretend like I’m not dying haha. I’d like to say sincere goodbye to my dumb life, and my closest one’s, who’d hurt me too much that I didn’t want to live anymore. I have no worries that I’m leaving my parents behind. They truly don’t need a worhtless child as me. […]
Last month I and my friend had a fight and at some point he asked me why I do this, if it was to seek attention. And since I am thinking: Am I really depressed?
This is getting really confusing and I just don’t know what is real anymore. I barely sleep, I barely eat, food doesn’t taste good anymore, I can’t concentrate, I can’t have fun while I play my favourite games, I used to love reading and writing and drawing but know I don’t. Everything bores me and everything is so exhausting. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts and sometimes I cut myself. And after […]
I came across this site while googling what would happen when taking too many hydroxyzine or seroquel. It’s funny because after several suicide attempts I still keep trying even though I can’t bring myself to keep trying at anything else. I continue to take too many pills every night in hopes that one of these nights it will kill me but so far I’ve had no such luck. I wish I was this motivated in other aspects of my life.
Even though I just made this new account I wanna start out with some personal things because I can’t tell anyone face to face these issues.
Here I go, I have been questioning my gender for a couple of months now.
Since last July I have had a deep connection in a weird way with the LGBTQ+ community. I watched the Fourth of July parade and for some weird reason I cried. At that moment I realized I was bi.
Skip to January of this year and I start to see people at my school who are genderneautral or trans. I didn’t get it but then I realized […]
I’m on the verge of giving up, everything is so messed up and I don’t know what to do anymore. I really want to self harm again but I’m scared that my mom will find out and send me to a mental hospital like my dad. When I was 12 my dad tried to kill himself in front of my family, I was horrified I didn’t know what to do and I guess I still don’t. I use to do a lot of drugs, I couldn’t function without them it was horrible. Two weeks ago I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me with […]
I can’t take anymore of this life. I can’t take the back and forth feeling of being happy to being depressed/suicidal. I don’t want to keep getting like I don’t belong anywhere and that I am a worthless waste of space. Please someone just kill me already because I am unable to do it myself.
I have always told myself that contradictions can be a good thing and a bad thing all in itself. Good ones teach us how to make good choices in life but the bad ones show us how bad this can really be. But life gets really hard when you are a living, breathing, and bleeding contradiction.
I am a contradiction because I love the warm feeling that life can give me, but i want nothing more than to feel the cold grip of death on my shoulder. I am a contradiction because so many people have told me that I am a gift and bring […]
I am 20. It’s been 4 years now. Everyday I say to myself “I want to die”. You know the little games we play in our mind. Mine is – saying to myself “I want to die”.
It started off due to academic pressure, then bullies, then other tensions. Eventually I am now a failure everywhere. If we meet someday, you wouldn’t be able to tell that I am suicidal. I wish you could. No way can sense how unhappy I am. I am just another introvert in front of society. Inside I am a tired guy screaming in tears – “I WANT TO DIE”.
I am […]
Get over it.
Get over it.
Get over it.
Oh… well then, that changes EVERYTHING -_-
Why does everyone say that?
I’m not pissed because my team lost or some shit, I’m pissed because I want to fucking die, you asshole.
Yes, I’m allowed to hold a grudge when my employer fires me for no reason and rips me off, yes, I’m allowed to hold a grudge when some immature prick threatens to kill me on the street, yes, I’m allowed to hold a grudge when you insult me and everything about me, yes, I’m allowed to hold a grudge when someone breaks my heart completely and leaves me unable to […]
I was happy before the pain began. I was a better person.
Going on three years now of a mystery illness that’s drained me of who I am. Been to several doctors this past year, took a whole year off from college and still no answers. I have just continued to feel worse and worse. I have lost all functionality as a human being. My family now expects me to get a job because at 22 I can’t be taken care of forever but I can’t work.
I don’t want to kill myself because of a lack of caring on anyone’s part. My family has helped me […]
I have multiple personalities and I wanted to know how many others there are who live with this. I just feel so alone with it, I’m not sure if I have a normal or abnormal alternate personality. She is very violent and unstable and has tried to kill me before.
I just want to be loved, is that selfish?
I saw some kids walking down the street today, I wish I had friends like that, the one group of friends I had at school really just never bothered to get rid of me, only one of them has gone out of their way to talk to me since I graduated, maybe I am a little greedy, wanting more people with me.
My mom and my sister were talking about their friends in school the other day, my mom’s story was particularly painful to hear: all of them were different people, but they were still a tight group, […]
How I felt before
I see vivid colors of mossy greens and scarlet. Mysterious and wonderful lands. Flying through clouds, Purple jungles, diving into white water. Yellow wind. Beautiful people who laugh.
Then I wake.
I wake,and everything goes static. Its all gray. And I can’t breathe. Or think. I want to close my eyes and sleep and drift away into calm dream. Return to the clouds. The purple jungle. just lay in my bed and pull the white covers over my head and forget there ever was a place outside of my mind.
But I’m trapped.
I’m poisoned.
I’m drowning.
I’m drowning.
I’m drowning.
it is […]
Bring me a poison;
I would like to swallow
The choked feeling
In my throat
Bring me a noose;
I am tired of standing up
It will help to keep me upright
Even when I finally stop fighting
Bring me a blade;
I want to bleed out
All the pain and suffering
That resided in my being
Bring me sleeping pills;
To grant my greatest wish,
My greatest desire
To never wake up to another day
Bring me a gun;
Easy and swift,
I will put it against my head
May it blast my painful memories away
Bring me a disease;
May it slowly kill me.
Slowly, like walking in […]
So, I had a conversation today:
Me: Hey…
Sister’s friend: Hi (my name), how are ya?
Me: Alive.
Sister’s friend: *nervous laughter* Well, that’s good.
Me: Depends on your perspective.
Sister’s friend: *more nervous laughter* You’re funny…
This aggravates me, far be it from me to seek attention or, god forbid, support, but it seems like people, especially the ones around me, feel comfortable ignoring every snide and brutally honest comment I make, do I have to hold up a sign?
Hell, while I’m reminiscing, gather ’round kids, let me tell you a story:
Late(ish) last year, I was walking home, along a busy street, when some kids started […]
Do you guys know?
Do you guys understand?
I think so, your’e all so nice. I love you all but it’s my time. I just had a very scary episode. My family is downstairs and they’re all going to try to kill me. This doesn’t even make sense, but I guess it proves that I am truly insane. I put my lucky dice near the door to stop them from coming in and it’s working. I have voices in my head, they tell me to kill people (mainly myself), they are Shirley and Danny. They’re so nice to me sometimes, everyone else is trying hurt […]
I’ve gotta say what I’ve gotta say, and then I swear I’ll go away.
Let’s see, I want to be a girl, which is still hard for me to wrap my head around, even after explicitly knowing it for two years now, up until that point, I’d started to feel quite weird indeed.
I felt numb/drugged/whatever, sometimes I felt like my brain was the only part of me that was alive, and it felt like it was burning, I was wondering why I always found girls more interesting company, but not ‘interesting’ company, even I find some girls pretty attractive, but when I’m out and I see […]