I’m sorry, my baby…. I’m sorry that I feel this way. That I feel like you don’t love me anymore. I’m sorry that I still want to kill myself because I feel so inadequate. I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry that I was never good enough for you. I’m sorry that I haven’t made as big of an impact on your life as you try to tell me I have. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I’m sorry that I’m not good for you. I’m sorry you still can’t see that. I’m sorry that I’m clingy, that I’m possessive. I’m sorry that I can’t wait […]
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kill
I found out the other day that my friend died. I could not go there, i could not accept that she was gone forever. we are not really friends. I tried to be her friend, i tried to reach out for her but she would not let me in. I hate her. I hate myself, i should have tried harder, should have set aside myself and put her first so… She could still be here. I wanted to kill myself, i should have died with her so she wont be alone. I love her. I want her.
Hi.. My name is Astley. I’m fourteen years old and I think I’ve been through a lot. My grandma has ALS so my family’s been gone a lot. I’ve been cutting for over a year and I really really want to kill myself. I struggle with horrible anxiety, Anorexia, and depression. I honestly hate myself. More than anything. I don’t think I deserve to live. I think I’m more trouble than I’m worth and I do take more than I ever give in. I hate myself so much. If I kill myself though, so will my boyfriend and I just can’t do that to his […]
im at a 6 month church camp and ive cane to the realization this morning that God wants me to kill myself and that im possessed.. now i have to find a way to sneak off campus and do this
I’m groggy. Have taken three different sedative substances, only one of them prescribed. Tsk tsk.
Am desperate to sleep.
Am using chatrooms coz I can’t focus on any book, movie, documentary or any other cultural output.
There’s something seriously wrong with my body. It’s like dragging a corpse around. I’m constantly knackered.
Uh-oh. This may not be suicidal enough for Suicide Project.
I daren’t even say what I really want to say. I’m paranoid as all hell. If I say I wanna kill someone some f***** out there might think I mean it so…
So here’s another half-assed post which is really just a groggy vent. Because sauce for the goose […]
Everyone is connected in two ways. In life, and in death. I know what you’re thinking, I’m just a loner on the other side of this screen, no one to leave behind when I die, a not-so-happy soul, when in fact, I’m the person everyone turns to when they have problems. I’m always cheery and happy and I honestly don’t think anyone can help that..My Mum says I’m the nicest person on earth. She said yesterday that she’s glad I don’t cut or have suicidal thoughts, and when I looked at the Television, which was what she was watching, I almost gasped and fell to […]
I’m tired… I could leave home again or go home. Ima kill somebody first
I don’t need a reason to kill myself. I need a reason not to kill myself. I have self harmed and suffered from severe depression for around 4 months now, and this was diagnosed 2 months ago. I hate everything and everyone and every day is a depressed numb hellhole. I have no hope for the future and no motivation to do anything anymore. I am failing in school as a result and this makes me even sadder. I am losing friends and all hope. Last month I came very close to committing suicide with a train and if I had alcohol I surely would […]
I’d like to take a moment to explain why those who share their suicidal intent with others will be unable to kill themselves, if they’re unable to kill themselves. That’s not really saying anything put like that, but what is given is advice to what i believe could be the majority of those who get themselves stuck in a hole, unwanting to live, unable to kill themselves, there are always outliers though, -real- psychopaths and what have you…
Anyways, as the saying goes: “those who share their suicidal intent with others are REALLY just crying out in a desperate plea for help, even if they […]
I think about it everyday. I’m not really sure if I’m depressed or just sad all the time. I never do anything right. I’m the type of person where if my teacher gave the whole class a pop quiz everyone else would score a 100% and I would be that odd ball to score a 90% or even a 80%. I know what your probably thinking. An 80% isn’t even that bad. But you get my point. I fail at everything. I even think my own father hates me. I could be all happy with my friends at school but the minute I get home […]
“should i kill myself? or should i wait and maybe life will get better?” this is the question i have been asking myself for more than 2 years. I still cant make a decision. life isnt getting better its only getting worse. so there is no point in living. i cant kill myself either because i only have one shot at life and if i die there is no guarantee that there is an afterlife. why does everything has to be hard? I used to musterbate my sadness away but now i dont even like porn and musterbation. what am i going to do? cant […]
How many of you would actually care if I died, and if you did, for how long? I mean if I died the sun would still rise and set, the seasons would still change, my death would change nothing in the world. I’m nothing special, so why do you care what happens to me? My existence is meaningless, so therefore I believe that I do not need to stay. I mean, do you even know what it’s like to feel so damn sad and empty all the time and just wake up everyday to just fake a smile and pretend to be oh so very […]
The words you say to me. The words you say behind my back. “Don’t tell her anything she might kill herself.” You saying in front of everyone. They laugh. Why would they care anyways? It’s not like I was ever their friend. But to the girl that said that I was. I was her friend. And I thought I was being a good friend by telling her the truth. But I guess I was wrong… next class I have people laughing at me. Saying stuff about me because I was trying to help out a “friend”. My real friends say with me and said it […]
I don’t think it’s right to pray for anything you wouldn’t be willing to do yourself. So if you’re not willing to kill yourself, it’s probably not right to pray for death.
That said, I don’t always do what’s right. Sorry, God.
We know what suicide is and we know that it’s a fact and it’s real. What we don’t know is WHY people kill themselves. As for myself, I know why I haven’t killed myself. Death is messy. I am somewhat of a neat freak and that’s the main reason why so far I have refrained from the act. Who is going to dispose of my stinky cadaver? I guess it could be organized but not without causing someone else a lot of trouble and I don’t want to make any trouble–which brings me to why I want to be dead and why in general people […]
Tonight is bad. Bad day at work. When my shift ended, I ran out of there on the dot. I can’t stand the job from the company to the day to day work. The managers are okay until they say one thing, then say the opposite. Makes me crazy. So, I was pushed to the edge tonight. I distracted myself with reading. I ate ice cream, cake, cookies, pizza. It felt good for like two minutes. Then nothing. No good feelings. I took the slow spiral dissent into my deep, dark feelings of waning to die. Just wanting this madness to end! Can’t get a […]
Does it seem unfair that most of us are born into emotional debt? Our parents love us from before Day One, and thereafter we can’t unlive, or live unwell, without hurting them – not to mention those whose love we accrue over the following years. Being loved is a blessing, or so I hear, but it’s also bondage.
Sometimes I want to kill myself out of protest, but: 1) even depressed and anhedonic, I know that hurting those who love me is wrong; 2) it’s possible that I chose to be here and accept this debt; and 3) the One I’d be protesting against would likely […]
Mum asked me today if I have any plans for next week.
No mum, nothing much.
Yes mum, I’m going to kill myself if you give me half a chance.
I want to comfort her in advance but she’d stop me.
I have to do this for myself…
Or die trying.
That’s the idea anyway.
I am 17 and have been suicidal from the age of 11. And I am just going to say that all of you need to stay strong. No matter what happends either talk to someone about it or just try to forget about it. I‘ve tried commiting suicide 4 times.
And to be honest I am tired too, I want to kill myself every day. I might have friends but they have enough of problems without even dealing with me. My boyfriend barely talks to me anymore after I told him about everything.
My parents don’t give a shit about me and my siblings have enough of problems.
I […]
I am a young adult. I would like to take my life. Reasons:
-I am innately evil. This brings me overwhelming shame.
-I do not correct my actions. I repeat my evil actions. This brings me guilt and shame.
-I am of no use and a burden to my family, my social circle and my workplace. Shame-shame-shame.
-I do not deserve my salary because I don’t work half as hard as I should. I am cheating my clients out of their money.
-After spending my whole life in this attitude towards life, I am convinced that I cannot change or, though I can, it is […]