There are a lot of changes that might happen soon. I have to make some serious decisions and it makes me sick just thinking about it. I feel so hopeless right now. I feel alone. I feel kind of empty. It’s like I’m not worth anything. That’s all I keep thinking about. I just want to die. Everything would be better if I were dead.
I have come to the conclusion that life is some sick experimental scheme that we can curtail by refraining from reproduction . By walking hand in hand into the beautiful glare of oblivion and hence opting out of this Raw deal. Imagine the unfairness of yanking an innocent soul from the comfort of oblivion and casting it into this painful thresher called life. If you have Kids, love them. If you don’t have them, please just be kind enough not bring them into this sick […]
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
http://www.cmt.com/videos/bleu-edmondson/404366/finger-on-the-trigger.jhtml
First, it’s kind of country. Sorry about that. But there’s a piece in the song that says:
‘And Lord, sometimes I wonder if you’re even there
Cause my burden is back-breaking and it’s all that I can bear’
It really speaks to me.
Although I don’t post or comment much, I visit every day and I want to wish everyone a happy and peaceful 2016. 🙂
ok so I logged in here after several months of just lurking and someone had changed my nickname to TrustMyDogB4Men. I did not do that and would never choose that nickname even though I have been through a lot of crap with someone, and it did have to do with my dog. I had someone try to kill my dog, so even though the nickname rings true, I would have never put that on here. How could someone change my name and know those things about me if I never said anything here about it? I’m really kind of creeped out. Someone knows a little […]
This is my absolute favorite singer. Every time i hear his voice i want to dance. I can really feel his music. He has a great story too. He was depressed and started with nothing. He recorded his album in his bedroom and got somewhere. I think we can all get somewhere too. The video is kind of weird. God, i would do anything to meet this man.
Gotta rely on sleeping pills to take me out of reality. Been in a shitty mood since Christmas Eve and can’t seem to shake it off. Repeating one of my mistakes which is not talking about my feelings and letting my bf think “what the fuck is wrong now” but fuck it Monday I’ll be back in Portland at my house and I’ll get fucked up in my room and sleep everything off and probably bring myself some kind of pain.
Im surfing at internet (sure) looking for any kind of help, but i’m not sure why.. maybe i want help but to tell the truth, i think it’s more about killing time because i really dont believe that i can get helped, theres no words or medication that can change who iam or worse what ive lost.
Cheers
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Fuck, yeah, I’m drunk again…
Anyway, so I noticed that when I drink too much I get some kind of anxiety. I’m afraid of choking on vomit, so I try every time, as best as I can, not to fall asleep. Suicidal as I am, I still fear the idea of choking to death. I’m doing my best to try and stay awake until I sober up. If you guys would be so kind to comment in order to keep me busy reading what you’re saying, you’d be doing me a great service in helping keep me awake.
One question: Do you guys also get this type […]
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You know… It’s so tragic it’s almost funny. At times I feel like I have everything figured out, all my I’s dotted, all my T’s crossed. And in the end. I really don’t have shit. I have nothing. Zip, Zero FUCKING ZILCH. When it comes right down to it, I am a goddamn fucking wreck. Emotionally, Mentally, and Physically, all round I am Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. I’m so Fucked that I really don’t even know how fucked I am. I keep thinking, keep telling myself “oh just take one more step, one more breath, have just a tad, a smidge more compassion […]
I’m drunk so if any of this is kind of drunk sounding… lol
I spent the last 8 months planning it. Now someone I thought was gone is back in my life. Kind of, anyway. Don’t know what I should do. I set everything up. I made sure everything would be as hard as possible to fix and get put back together in my life so I couldn’t chicken out. Even if I an turn it around, what would be the point? Is there even a point to life, or a place in it for someone so screwed up?
Lots of research as shown that low serotonin levels directly relates to depression. One of the best ways to raise serotonin levels is daily exercise. Unfortunately low serotonin also makes you not want to exercise making your brain go against what your body wants and needs. I challenge anyone here who is feeling depressed to try it for a few weeks with me. One punch man is kind of inspiring me so I guess I should take advantage before it wears off.
I have been trying for years to look deep inside myself in search of some kind of humanly feelings. All I have find is hollow and empty nothingness. There is a deep hollow void in my heart that cant be filled by anything.
Yes, I smile I laugh, but those are all just fake. I have perfected it over the years. Fake emotions.
There is also some darkness lurking inside of me. I have kept that dark flame in me at bay for quite some time, but now, I feel like Im losing that battle. Im getting darker and darker by the day.
It scares […]
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I have wholeheartedly decided to end it all on Tuesday (when i have money). You are all so kind, it has warmed my heart. However, my pain is too strong and this is the only way
For any metal lovers out there. Makes me feel there’s a kind of strength to be found in facing the hopelessness you feel.
I feel like I don’t really feel anything anymore .
i used to be sad a lot and cry but now I feel nothing .
i don’t really feel excitement, happiness, sadness.
nothing.
i kind of do not care anymore .
I feel worthless and pointless.