Im not crazy , just alone, need employment, cant get out of house, lost my last job 2 months ago hitting on a girl, which i would never do ever but wasnt thinking clearly from the kratom. Im about 400 pounds and i feel lazy and lethargic alot. I worked at 711 for about a year, hard to keep up but i tried reallh hard. Then i got a job as a security officer. im a nice guy, why did i have to hit on that woman, i should of not did it, noe i have 14 dollars living with my brother, ive messed up […]
All I am is a fucking grade point average, and believe me, that number isn’t too great. I can’t be stupid, I’ve been a success for much of my life, and I’m certified as gifted, but now I can’t even pass my god damn classes. What college would want a lazy, idiotic piece of shit such as I?
Hey there. So, I’m back again on this website, for the third time. Three major bouts of suicidal thoughts and depression. But that’s besides the point. Earlier this year, I began my freshman year of high school, and with it, the best years of my life, as I have been told so many times. Unfortunately, that promise is not living up to expectations. I was placed into a college preparation program by my middle school teachers, though I decided not to sign up for it last year because I didn’t want to have too much on my plate. Additionally, at the start of the year, […]
How would you define a loser?
Let’s see:
Would a 25 year old who cannot hold down a job for more than 6 weeks without getting fired and who has been unemployed for about 2 years qualify? Still living under your parents roof?
How about the person of the same age never having been in a relationship or have even had a real kiss? (The main issue being societies expectations. It does not really bother me too much.)
Or what about having no real friends because you have such poor social skills, get socially anxious and are known to have a temper? Where even mental health staff have given […]
Aside from TV shows/movies and videogames there isn’t much that keeps me going. I messed up my education by being lazy (BSO, in belgium that’s the lazy person’s course where they don’t actually teach you shit) so I have barely any motivation for college that I’m starting next week but hey, gotta keep the parents happy. Ideal situation would be some sort of disease that doesn’t hinder me too much but kills me after 3 years, so I atleast know how game of thrones ends (can’t be assed to wait for the books, knowing grrm we’ll have the last book when I’m 40). Too much […]
Tonight was the second time in less then a week that I’ve been told depression doesn’t exist and that we all have control of our minds and chose how we want to be… Were just soaking ourselves in tears and sadness because were too “lazy” to get out and try to be happy…………
‘Pearls Before Swine’ by Stephan Pastis (May 6, 2012)
I’m not looking for advice at all since I have zero motivation to improve my lot in life. I’m merely writing this to ***** and vent and commiserate with any potential like-minded souls that might feel the same way while I’m still here.
I have no money. No job. And only got a high school diploma. I am 34 years old and am living with my parents, whom I […]
How? Just HOW? I just met my sister and she has 2 jobs now. I can’t even do this one job without falling down the suicidal thoughts slope again recently. And it’s not even a job I entirely hate. Plus I am ALREADY on meds.
Just how can people do that. And don’t get me wrong, I am NOT a lazy whiny jerk that has nothing to do but complain. I just don’t understand.
Sometimes… sometimes I think my past and childhood has robbed all my energy. And now I don’t have any left to live.
Living hurts. The people who used to make me happy now tear away at my sanity, even without meaning to. I watch tons of porn daily, and whenever I go a day without porn I spend it being a lazy fuck. HOW DID I EARN THIS LIFE? HUH? ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!!! It’s like death is a release even if I do go to hell I’ll at least know why. I go to a therapist, take happy pills, and fantasize about me dying. I like to think that I’ll die quickly but brutally so I’ll go out in kick ass way. I pray every day […]
I’m so tired. Just tired of all this crap lately. First off, I was starving myself yesterday and the day before- an attempt to diet because I’m fucking gross. I want all of my fat gone. All of it. I hate myself. I’m a gross, fat, ugly waste of space. I hate myself so damn much. You know what I’m really, really, really craving, though? Sweet release. Last week (I think), my blade was taken away, and I haven’t been able to cut. Cutting was my little escape. All the cuts on my arm are fading away, and I’m getting anxious about that, for some […]
I want to cut, but I’m too lazy to go upstairs to get a razor.
I’m not a smoker, but a cigarette with coffee hits the spot sometimes. I like the way I get spun up on nicotine and caffeine since I hardly ever have either.
It lifts my lazy depression and maybe…..just maybe will be enough to get where I’m destined to go tonight.
Really don’t want to see another morning
Picked up my uke and played it just now for the first time in a very, very long time (probably because I want to smash it to pieces when I see it because it is a painful reminder to me) Anyway, it was horribly out of tune. I tuned it as best as I could (too impatient to put more effort into tuning).
Here’s me – playing and singing awfully out of tune w an out of tune uke. Â I don’t care much these days.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/New-Recording-11-2.m4a
I dont know how or why im still alive. I have no use here. Im a stupid worthless piece of shit and noone cares. Im never good enough for anyone. NEVER! and i never will be. because ill always be who i am and i cant change that. but i can change whether im here or not. I dont understand how ive held on this long. Its crazy, all the crap i put up with. But then again, here i go being selfish. There are people who put up with alot more. i dont have it that bad, im just a whiny […]
Where do I start…
I’ll start by saying I am not depressed.
That said, I am just tired of life. Depression includes a whole lot of symptoms and the bigger ones are sadness, loneliness and other synonymous emotions. I am not sad, nor am I lonely.
At the moment it’s winter and it’s darker than usual. That may effect me in some ways right now, but I’ve had these thoughts for 6 months now. Longer even. And without a hint of sadness behind them.
I don’t want to live, because I have no drive to do so anymore. I feel infinite amount of contempt towards today’s society and it […]
Some of you can probably relate.
I’m a friendless, lazy dumbass. Who was suicidal….
I’m not a lazy person by nature, nor am I really dumb, but that’s how school makes me feel like, what with all these low grades, and the constant reminder to do better and the uneeded pressure from parents and teachers. I just don’t give a shit about some of the classes at school, like math and history and chemistry, they are sooo boring, and I just dont bother with it–atleast I try not to, but It’s hard to not be bothered by all the work schools pile on us, which are mostly useless, boring information that […]
things keep building up. little things. like homework and work that my boss gave me to take home. social gatherings that i said i would attend.
people like me. i am pretty. my parents pay my rent. i have lots of money. men like me. but i don’t like myself.
i am trying to be sober from drugs and alcohol. without anything to numb my brain, it feels broken. i just don’t want to do this anymore. i can’t cope. i wish there was a god so i wouldn’t feel so lonely.
deep inside i am just a lazy conceited selfish bratty little girl who usually gets […]
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