I feel like life is one long ass horrible ass nightmare. And if i die I’ll wake the fuck up.
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life is
My parents discovered my cuts because my aunt told them when she noticed it.
I don’t know how to explain it to them. I just want to end it all. Yes, I appreciate the good things. Yes, I am aware of your love. Yes, life is beautiful. I KNOW. I FUCKING KNOW. BUT I JUST REALLY REALLY HATE MYSELF. I JUST WANT TO DIE.
Why do you say it like it’s my fault that I need to say sorry? Why do you say it like you’re the victim? Because you were hurt? That the pain on your back is coming back because of my cutting habit? Why […]
I’m writing this and it’s early as fuck.
I can’t sleep. I just made a grilled cheese too an it was great. Early in the morning is when my thoughts are crazy.
I was thinking about how I feel like the day I die my soul will finally find peace . It will be a relief . I’ll finally get to rest. I wish the day could come sooner.
I was also thinking about a afterlife . I wouldn’t say that I believe in God , but I believe in something . I hope there is something after this world . Maybe this life is hell? There has […]
Sometimes I feel dissociated from life. I am consumed yet still apart from sadness or anger or depression, like I’m treading in the middle of the ocean, watching the giant crests and seeing nothing but blue and overwhelming emptiness.
My dad started drinking again after a period of forced sobriety due to drunk hospital visits. I found out by being stopped in the stairs of the apartment building and warned that he was passed out for several hours and had been drinking for several days. He had already been back to the hospital. His liver and pancreas and brain are all fucked up.
It’s like dealing with […]
hey sp im just here to say life is bullshit i tried my best to stay up but i keep going downhill i tried so many times topping myself never wrked ive dne alot of good but still get badluck for sme reason i got ppl who just act like they like me but its all fake i aint got no one im under anxiety but it get worse and worse when i take my meds i cry alot.Past few days ive been dwn want to leave this world asap. Im bored lonely depressed of life. Now im trying a differnt method of dieing starve […]
She always felt like an outcast in her family and friends.
Mostly when she talks, its as if she’s talking to the wind. No one respond or indicate that they hear her.
She’s never been anyone’s first choice. Or second. Always the last resort.
People try to dictate what she should do in life.
She’s quiet and they thought her weird and dumb.
She’s alone. Even in the midst of people.
She’s lonely and no one dare to approach her.
She’s depress and no one care to help her.
She wants to die. The thought that lays beyond her laughter and smiles.
How sad her life is. If only there’s one person that might […]
So I tend to assume that the problem is me. With the destructive ways of thinking and habits that I cling to. Or with my defective body. With my distorted, twisted personality. I look at the people around me, and think ‘They look happy. I should be like them.’
If I could only be like everyone else, and feel a sense of meaningful connection with others, then my life would be worth living. It gives me something to aspire to. Got to find a way to fix myself, and then everything will be ok. Or, if that’s not possible, got to keep a lid on my […]
I am momentarily happy, made some good decisions, while also being a bit impulsive. Of course the impulsive is a negative thing, but I am generally deluded, so I think I have it under control. It’s a flaw in judgement and inhibition, as if the impulse center in my brain has grown rabid, viciously pursuing euphoric pleasure or joy. However, I find that I am very capable of redeveloping that self control, seems tonight taught me a lot of things.
I found out that living in a hedonistic capricious way is liberating, and it allows you to stifle the constricting grip of life’s hardship. The […]
So I thought I could hold my stuff together long enough to visit family without some sort of break down. I was wrong. About an hour into it, my step grandmother tried to take my picture. I just wasn’t in the mood or spirit as I’ve been really depressed lately. After begging her not to, she did anyways. And I’m very self conscious and I know I’m not good looking. I struggle with this a lot. How I perceive myself and how others see and view me. Needless to say all these feelings of emptiness and sadness rushed to the surface in the form of […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I think I drive my self crazy. Last night I woke up at 3:11am , I always wake at this time. The numbers are really significant . They say that angels are trying to reach to me to give me peace . Numbers freak me out . And math freaks me out . Newton invented math , BUT HOW THE FUCK IS IT SO PERFECT??? I was up to 7 am this morning researching shit on this . It makes me head hurt . Then I started researching more philosophical views on life . All these geniuses were depressed too . I think they knew […]
If I were to die right now, nobody I know (in real life) would give a shit. It’s hard to want to live when nobody cares about you and you think your life is worthless, that it’s not worth living. And even worse when you can’t fucking kill yourself either, so you’re forced to be alive and miserable.
And it’s hard not to be miserable and depressed when nobody cares about you.
Bah!
Today was really hard . I had to get through work without breaking down . But I think my sadness turned into anger today . I work at a smoothie bar/wrap place and I was trying to make a wrap and the tortilla kept breaking and so I threw it at the wall. I was so fustrated . And it was so busy. I hate serving people . Everyone is always in a hurry. I can’t wait to finish my dental assisting class so I can get a real job.
I wish life wasn’t so hard for me . I wish I had it easier . […]
i find some days my desire to fight for life is almost nonexistent. Like today, I really just want it to be over. I know I have to now because I feel like it’s to close to the holidays. It’s like I’m committed till at least the first of the year now. 🙁 I just really hate everything
Life is Temporary…
Death is Permanent…
My life is hell. Death looks like it can bring me peace.
So? Am I willing to temporarily go through hell when I can permanently be at peace?
I haven’t been on SP for a long time, but I decided to come back and see how everyone is doing. I know that life is rough sometimes, but please stay strong and don’t give up. You’re all loved. 🙂
i guess it’ve been a while since i last posted you know ..
i’ve been away in trying to reach the one inside of me , my soul , my inner thoughts and such stuff looking for inside peace … im not saying i’ve reached it though ! jaja ..
all i got to these weeks is that i am really beautiful somehow .. and to always remind myself to love it ..
when i ever don’t know what to do ,, i’d just do nothing .. stick up to good thoughts , enjoy everything that i could .. and i don’t know […]
hello. i’m a 19 yr. old female, just joined. i have depression, social anxiety, and self-esteem issues. i’ve never actually attempted suicide, but i’ve wanted to die many times, and especially this past year. my life is crud and i don’t really do anything. i dropped out of school early last year because of bullying, and i haven’t finished. i don’t work, i live with my parents who are alcoholics. i don’t have any friends. i’ve never had a boyfriend. i’m obese and ugly. i don’t feel like my life is worth living anymore. the only thing i do remotely well is write poetry. well, […]
Hello guys. I think I will go next month when I will turn 20. Atheism is right. I ‘ve been through a lot of shit and I think everything is meaningless. Now some of you will say stay alive, some will shut up and some will say go through it. And I think I will go through it. What can be better than eternal silence?
We are just made/evolved so we can reproduce and carry on the species.Everything that happens are just chemicals in our brain. I am really tired. And I hate the most those people that say that life is worth living however it […]
There may come times when we are lost
It will make us want to break free at any cost
There may comes times when life is sad
It makes everything look and feel bad
But even in all this pain and chaos
There is still some hope in all of us
It gives us the will and strength to live
Even when we feel life has nothing to give
We feel fear, we feel pain
It can make us go insane
It can make us do things we think that might be right
Endless tormenting us with nightmares at night
We feel all is […]