The blood flows from my arms
You cry and tell my that I need to stop
You don’t understand.
This is what keeps me alive.
This proves I’m still human deep down.
This shows me I can still bleed, that I can still feel.
The razor is my best friend now.
He never judges.
He’s there when I need him.
He let’s me take my feelings out.
It’s not healthy it’s what makes you right.
This makes me right.
No matter how sick and twisted it sounds, its what keeps me sane.
If the price to pay is a little blood and […]
Tag:
Lifetime
I sit here and all I feel is pain
wanting to cut and make my wrists rain
make them rain with blood. I get no love
I sit in my room all alone, me and my pain
pain is all I feel, pain is all I know
Noone will ever know how I feel, or what Im going through
when you smile and laugh, but you know it’s just a show
Im the only one to blame for a meaningless life
so I sit in my room alone, just me and this knife
not wanting to take my life, just leaving a lifetime scar
a […]
I know I haven’t posted in a while and that’s because I didn’t have anything to say. Now I have something to say. And it’s about the loveliest of creatures – a mother. I just got done talking to mine a bit ago, no, I wasn’t talking, she was. And that’s part of the problem. She talks and I don’t. She wants me to talk though. This sounds like it would be easily solved, but I feel like it’s not that easy. You see, my mom is not that interesting to me. That’s a horrible thing to say, but it’s pretty true. We’re just so […]
I’ve got 44 days left to go, and I’ll be joining you. I am living my life until then as best as I can, savouring every moment. I’m even tempted to run in the local elections just for the joy of it. I am trying to fit a lifetime of pleasure in before I go. I don’t know what comes next, however that doesn’t bother me.
As full as my world seems, I am alone looking out over it. Disconnected from it. It doesnt matter how close I get to people I am so far away. People say they see great things in my future, I […]
This has no specific age range but is directed more towards those who have not yet been free to make their own decisions.
I want everyone who wants to to live. Especially you my little brothers and sisters. Because you have not yet been able to live your own lives. Have not yet been able to freely choose anything outside the limits placed on you and the strong influences upon your minds and emotions. From your posts many of you have an amazing and solid grasp on life and that would be wasted by you dying and not being able to enrich yourselves with your talents.
Many […]
Can’t believe I’m posting here. Thought I was over all of this. I’m 42 now. Lifetime of depression, anxiety, anorexia, and bulimia. I had gotten to a point where I had left a bad marriage, bought my own car, own house, raising my child, and held a full time very difficult job. I decided to change shrinks 1 week ago who suggested I do “talk therapy.” I went to 1 apt and have essentially fallen apart since that apt. This was totally unexpected. Apparently, I’ve been trying to hold everything together all these years…just keep going, just keep going, and follow the routine is what […]
Well, this is it. I am nearing the end. I can feel it coming. I am so traumatised I have trouble even identifying ‘this’ as ‘it’. It would be more accurate to say that was that, or it was that, but never this is it. So I’ll start again:
It was that. fwiw. A lifetime assault on a human being who never got up from the first punch.
Sorry, that’s no good either. I’m usually okay finding words. It’s probably a measure of how frightened I am that words hurt too. I cannot pick up a ringing telephone. It has got to the point where I have […]
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I…?Â
Insecure
Self destructiveÂ
Afraid to grow up
Nervous
Delusional
Crazy
SchizophrenicÂ
Proud
Dissociative
DilapidatedÂ
Narcissistic
Misaligned
Inoperable
Anorexic
FailureÂ
DisappointedÂ
Nostalgic
ConflictedÂ
Non-committed
Addicted
Afraid
Fearless
Normal
Perfect
Relentless
Depressed
Suicidal
Genius
Mad
Insane
I am!
There is something wrong with me!
I want to be committed to cure my ailments. I am of clear thought of body and mind for all pertinent matters. My fear of seeking help is loss of respect from my family, social status, future, but most of all, my 2nd amendment right to bare arms. I shall stand naked holding my weapon of choice and I will […]
So, I got to thinking about how a parent’s personality can really screw a kid up and effect them throughout their lifetime.
Then that thought led me into another about the state of the world.
I came up with a question for all of you insightful people on this site. I’m curious and I’d love to know what everyone thinks.
Before I ask my question, I want to highlight some facts (that you should already be aware of);
-The world population is now 7 billion and counting. Overcrowding is becoming an issue.
-Global warming is getting increasingly worse. More natural disaters destroying homes and land. Ice […]
Hi my name is Aurora and I’m going to turn 19 soon. Since I was a little girl I’ve suffered from depression. I remember my frist suicide attempt was when I was around the age of 7 to 9. I tried to suffocate myself with my blanky by stuffing it down my throat, it didnt work. I continued on with my life miserable, but unaware that these feelings werent normal. My mother and stepfather abused me most of my life both mentally and physically. When I confronted my mom about the way she use to treat me she tells me to get over it or […]
I’m 19 years old, and I’ve been through more than any person should in their lifetime. I’ve been raped twice, the first was by my “loving boyfriend” when I was 15, he said he loved me, and I believed him. Because of this, I was stupid enough to stay with him. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he also physically and emotionally abused me constantly. My so-called friends knew what was going on, and they just sat there and did nothing.  The best day of my life was October 15th 2006 when I got into a car accident and he was killed. I thought the […]
im not a bad person why does nobody treat me with respect, the only thing i ever do is try and help people and i get hurt for it im failing in college and i cant catch up im realy not in the mood for living right now maybe the next lifetime
people dont seem to like me all i get is grief and insults people prejudging me thinking you wont like this its not your thing, how would you know are you inside my head and if you are howcome your not as confused as i am all i wanted was to be a policeman […]
It saddens me to see these young kids considering suicide as an option. You have a long time left to live and you’ve got rampant hormones. You need to ride it out and see what the future provides.
Sadly I have seen what the future provided and now that I’m 45, I’m not sure I want to continue. I’m going on my second divorce. I haven’t had a sex life in 20 years. I spent 10 of those years looking for the right woman and 10 of them married to the wrong woman. The prime of my life has passed me by and I got robbed.
The […]
i tried to hang myself when i was like 8 or 9 with a jump rope. i was 13 when i took like 8 different bottles of pills. both attempts didnt work, obviously, but i still have horrible nightmares of past experiences and some weird memories of abuse are coming back to me. i wonder if im going crazy and making stuff up (im 17)… i admit that i’d rather be alright and have had a life where NOTHING bad has happened and everything is perfect but im wondering if im not a psychological hypochondriac..the memories are so vivid though. i can remember feelings, […]
Older Posts