the only thing that is stopping me from killing myself is my dog. i have no friends left, my family doesn’t offer any support. though my dog is the most precious thing on earth to me sometimes i wish i had never adopted her. she’s the only important responsibility i have and i would never ever just give her to a shelter. or my family…i don’t trust them to properly care for her. what should i do? it breaks my heart to imagine her suffer in any way (yeah even her not getting enough walkies or cuddles lol) but i ‘m so drained. Â i’ve struggled […]
I am going all out here, ive tryed 3 times to end my life, yet the method didnt work… err and a year ago i bought a gun, and go figure a week later somebody stole it, everytime i try to kill myself, somthing tryes to stop me..but sorry, god cant stop my suicide abymore, i am departing very soon, i have new methods, im just wainting on funds… i cant wait to die, i have my arrangements made already the only problem is where do i do it, my house,hotel,or what? In the mean time im on a sex co pade..lol all i […]
The assessment went well. Apart from the fact that she wanted to drug me up. I have another appointment on the 4th october. All I heard her say was ‘Hopefully the anti-depressants will make the voice go away’.
Lol.
I didn’t have the heart to explain why I don’t want daniel to leave, So I just sat there and blanked out everything else she had to say. And I went for smart, But as I stood up she gave me a wierd look. :I Thanks. I needed that confidence boost.
Got my exam results as well! I passes everything, Some only just. But got an A in product […]
I don’t know why I’m even bothering, but what the hell. I’m still here. Still not in the pokey, either, though I suspect I’m running out of time.
I think I’m sticking around just to piss people off. I’m probably just chickenshit.
It dawned on me this morning that if I was someone else looking at my life and my situation, I’d be telling me to fight hell and high water. Even if I lose, I’d still get to take down a few assholes with me. My brother deserves to be in jail for rape. My narcissistic sister needs a serious dose of reality to shatter her […]
Hi all, It is very sad that we are forced, I am forced to live in a world that kills all life so freely and they justify it in their minds as either a good thing or a needed evil. Our world Governments kill without pause. But If I want to Leave what I view as a painful and unjust life I am considered of ill mental health. I have been diagnosed with major depression for many years. I have been on many drugs, did therapy from 1991 to 1997, I am 55 yo. Gay and blah, blah , blah. I am looking for a […]
It would be nice to have a best friend that I can share everything with and not be embarrassed. I live in Utah..aka HELL lol and it’s so hard to find real people. I have a so called best friend right now, but she always gets mad at me for stupid things I do, and when she does stupid things, I just sit there and listen. Hmm…so I guess she really isn’t my best friend huh? Well if anyone wants to be my friend or talk I would absolutely love that. I have a lot of baggage…but who doesn’t? I’m 18 btw. I could really […]
This POST is intended to shed some light on the feeling of not belonging to this world/being part of it. If you have a mental illness such as bipolar or schizophrenia please take your medication(s).
When I was 16 I tried to commit suicide if I would have succeeded I would not have known the beauty of seeing each one of my girls birth or watching them grow; Not known what it would have felt like to fall in-love nor see how great of a career I would have. I tried to get rid of myself simply because I did not belong.
After the incident I visited […]
This is my first time posting lol.. So..Thursday I brought alcohol to school & my “friends” snitched on me. They also snitched on how I was planning on getting high on Friday night & how I cut myself..There’s soo many things I could say as to why I think “my life sucks” but there’s no use;p Keep in mind I’m only 14 lmao..but anyone wanna talk?
Holly bearly posted “kiss me before we o.d” and It already has 223 views,that’s crazy!I’m sorry I know I always tell you that.If everyones on here then talk!Don’t be shy.Obviously alot of people are on riqht now.Im pretty sure someone I haven’t even seen Is on.I thouqht there were only about 50 people on this site lol but I quess there’s more so let’s talk!
So I’m startinq to let the real me out.I miss sayinq bi power on my status on Myspace lol.(Like three years aqo)I don’t know If I am bisexual.I’ve refused to answer that question In the past year and a half.Am I still attracted to boys???I don’t know,I just don’t know but I love qays tho!Yall judqe to much tho.It started when I was In eiqhth qrade.I started to qo boy huntinq with my old bestfriend causse I didn’t want her and my ex to do It and I quess I qrowed a feelinq for them.I only told three close friends,One was my old bestfriend.Couple days later two […]
So I just cut like twenty-minutes aqo listeninq to I’m not alriqht (by Sanctus real).I cutted deep but for some reason I bearly bleed and I came out as some baby line’s.Some much for lookinq at my scars to remind me that what I’m qoinq threw Is hard.Alot of people want to stop cuttinq but I like It,It makes me feel qood Inside.I recently relapsed:(I even smoked two hour’s before a biq event happened at my Church.I’m a horiibe person for continuinq to smoke.All I want Is to be loved!It’s the best feelinq In the world.I still remember the feelinq when me and my ex would […]
A little humor goes a long way. Short version is that I stopped an older couple to confirm or deny the helicopter I observed watching me. Their response was , yes, they were stopped watching the UFO. LOL
 To what_Is_Love13, the time will come when we shall all become angels,
just dont go on your own yet, for you are not alone.
what is love? love is you,
love is when someone reaches out and touches you..
~
Laura Elisabeth Rhodes
1991 ~2004
Laura’s Last words.
“I waited for my mother to walk in. “Laura, I am sick of running up and down these stairs,
now get up.” I would look at her
“What is wrong now?” “My tummy hurts and I feel sick”.
“It […]
I tried to become a better person. To stop the things that make me hate myself so much.
I talked about this before but it’s starting to become a big problem again.
Thinking about it makes me want to vomit. I’m so disgusted with myself and the situation.
I just made it to partner 32, yay for the whore!
I was doing so well, three months. No sex. I was so proud of myself. But then they came back. And because I’ve been avoiding instead of dealing with the problem directly I crumbled.
I did say no, I did move his hand when he tried to touch me. I tried […]
ight as well start with a smiling face because im pretty sure i wont end the journal with it once ive finished writing all this , well as the title says where to begin , i guess i should start with positive , i managed to draw Ezio Auditore de firenze  even though i think i messed up slightly with the face and hands , but nobodys perfect , at least now i know what to work on which is a positive XD ……trying to think what else is positive , well ive got my birthday in 11 months lol but its going to be […]
December 17th, 2011 at 2:31 am
im not sure what to say other than i know all your going thru seems like alot right now but life will get better for you it will just take time. I offer this to you becouse i dont want you to kill yourself, wich puzzles me becouse i am thinking of killing myself also and if i am going to end it why care if some totally random person on some blog does the same thing? I think its becouse my life has alot of simularities to yours except it was a long time ago that i […]
Ok, so apparently, being suicidal is a bad thing.
They approach my “condition” with scorn.
They ask me, “Why can’t you just be normal like everyone else?”
They throw pills in my face and tell me to get better… As if it was that simple. LOL… I’m a waste of space in this morbid world, and, pills aren’t going to make it all better. So far, they haven’t. And it’s been quite some time now. 🙁
Honestly, I don’t wanna be like this… ‘I am (in the words of Korn) clearly broken and no one knows what to do’~ >_>
So apparently, being suicidal is a […]
So, I got to thinking about how a parent’s personality can really screw a kid up and effect them throughout their lifetime.
Then that thought led me into another about the state of the world.
I came up with a question for all of you insightful people on this site. I’m curious and I’d love to know what everyone thinks.
Before I ask my question, I want to highlight some facts (that you should already be aware of);
-The world population is now 7 billion and counting. Overcrowding is becoming an issue.
-Global warming is getting increasingly worse. More natural disaters destroying homes and land. Ice […]
So I forgot to close out this website before letting my mom borrow my computer. I don’t want to talk to her about it. Why? Because there is no communicating with her. I’ve tried before. -chuckles- You know what she said? “If you do it don’t do it here”. Like that is going to make me open up to her. I wont say I HATE my mother, cause I don’t except when I’m mad lol but I do dislike her ALOT. I just don’t understand why people are so blind. I’m not perfect. There I said it. But I am trying to work on myself […]
hi there I’m 28yrs old and don’t know what to do anymore i have 4 kids which at the moment i don’t like I’ve been told that due to depression which Ive suffered for years since being a kid all i want to do is end all this for me and them as i know that as long as I’m here there not going to be happy and i no that wen i go they will all have loving happy places to go to life is so shit i just don’t know how to cope i no how im gonna do it i already told […]