Apparently everything I feel is wrong. What I feel towards her is all wrong. It isn’t love that I feel towards her, but something else entirely that is unknown to me. Is it obsession? So be it. Because it is only obsession, even when she and I were in and relationship what I was feeling towards her was wrong because what I felt then is what I feel now. Only, now the added weight of missing her has been added to the mix. But, wait. I can’t miss her because what I feel is wrong. So, I don’t miss her. And if I don’t miss […]
It’s been a while since I’ve wrote anything, let alone posted anything… I think December was the last time I posted? I’m too lazy to check (even though it is a few clicks). I’ve been a diagnosed depression patient for almost 5 years now, dunno how long I’ve actually been depressed for though, seems like it’s been for a good chunk of my life though
There was a certain moment in my life when I reallyy really wanted to kill myself. And then there was those other moments when I was really close to that… though even in my most jaded of times, I still had some sliver […]
What am I afraid of?
I guess the feeling that I am completely alone and that there was nobody to help me. In that moment, I felt all the other times in my life when I had been left alone and in pain. It felt like a knife was jabbing into an open wound on my chest. I could barely breathe, My sadness was so deep that it blinded me to any other realities. My biggest fear has surfaced. I believed that I would be stuck forever in the empty, painful feeling of my loneliness.
“Enough is enough i can’t go on……”
I’m nearly fort-two, and suddenly i realized that if i was to die right now nobody would know. I have always felt this loneliness inside me since being a young child but until now i have never understood what lonely really was.
I’m going to end my life. I have tried several times before but failed in my attempts. I think if i try one more time i would get it right. I’ve searched the net every day looking for different ways to end it all, now i know i’ve been doing it all wrong. That’s why i keep failing.
I […]
My name is Joe, I live in England and I am training to be a hairdresser. I started my training two months ago, I am 19 years old.
I’ll be honest with you my life so far has not been easy, like the majority of people in this world I’ve faced issues and encountered problems which has hurt me, which is fine bad things happen. I was bullied at school, people made fun of my physical appearance a lot, and I didn’t fit in with the popular crowd. I hanged out with the more geeky group, and didn’t mind it, I got on well, but as time went […]
“oh what a delight, a day at the zoo,
seeing the sights, i love the zoo
stay by the mungkhees an hour or two
people watching because people are brutes”
These words keep running through my mind. I wrote them and have read them over and over and listened to the recording over and over so maybe that is the reason that I can’t let go of the words. But I’m here, wondering about hullucinations. I’ve never mistaken a hallucination for reality (except when I think an event has occured, but it only has in a dream) but I think I’m seeing and hearing voices.
Could just […]
People have told me, “Don’t do it, Emma” and “You can talk to me about anything”. But I can’t. I know I’m not alone in this but it always feels like I am. I’ve had people call the Suicide Hotlines on me and I’ve helped other people get through their own depressions but I can never seem to shake the pain, loneliness, jealousy, or depression. I have problems I know I need to fix but I just can’t.
Im 14. My name is Emma and I live in Colorado. When I was three, my mom and dad divorced after my mom knowingly broke my younger brother’s […]
I had my first suicidal thoughts last December… Triggering factor? Have no idea. At first it was just ideas like «i think it would be much better if i was going far far away». After, reflections on life, death, suffering… images of death… images of my death in dreams… and… after… images of my death when im awake, when i watch a movie, when i laugh to a good joke with friends… i see myself everywhere dying… for over a month now…. I see myself hanging by a rope in the corner of my office… or injecting myself a high dose of morphin, which i […]
I have an obsession with darkness. In the dark or at night there is a calmness. Something you can’t see or touch. But it is there. Of course nights are also filled with pain. With the realization that the loneliness is never ending. I sometimes dread the night. Knowing I will be forever alone. Lost in the darkness. No comfort. No solutions. Just lost and alone throughout eternity. This isn’t a life. This is a curse.
Hey I am 22 (just turned) male from UK. Basically I am stuck in life. I never leave the house because I have nowhere to go, I have no friends and nobody to talk to every single day, including weekends. I am currently looking for work and have never had a job yet (been looking 2 & 1/2 years). I am done with education as its neve rgot me anywhere and I can not receive funding to do what I even want to do.
I am stuck in life, I have no future and no friends, no girlfriend, no place of my own, no transport, […]
I just stumbled across this site and skimmed some posts and comments and a lot of it seemed so familiar. The issues as well as the advice. Personally, I never found certain kinds of advice helpful but I will refrain from pointing out specific ones and instead just share my story and hope it will help people who are tired of the same old cliched phrases. If not… I think Doug Stanhope is absolutely right when he says (paraphrasing): “Life is like a movie. If it is shitty every step of the way, you shouldn’t blame somebody for walking out early.”
And I am going to […]
Hey I am 22 (just turned) male from UK. Basically I am stuck in life. I never leave  the house because I have nowhere to go, I have no friends and nobody to talk to every single day, including weekends. I am currently looking for work and have never had a job yet (been looking 2 & 1/2 years). I am done with education as its neve rgot me anywhere and I can not receive funding to do what I even want to do.
I am stuck in life, I have no future and no friends, no girlfriend, no place of my own, no transport, no money. I have nothing, […]
I hate to sound whiny about my life. There is good and there is bad, as is part of the deal with being alive. I am not like most people, that have reasons and feelings to be suicidal. Most of the time I love life.
My problem is that I have some weird form of anxiety attacks. Nothing seems to trigger them, like most people have. I have theorized that it is some chemical that doesn’t flow as steadily through my body as it should. When there is too much I have anxiety attacks where […]
im alone. i want to be alone all the time now for reasons i do not know. i want a new life, one where i can start over. i want to end it all, more than anything. i dont think there is help for me out there. the fact is i dont want help. all the help theyre going to give me is pills. im tired of taking pills to make me happy. i should be able to be happy without taking any kind of pills. im uncommonly depressed. my friend and family stay away from me. they act as if i have some contagious […]
so tired. My apartment has rats in the ceiling.
I had 2 weeks of peace as I’d moved into my new apartment. Before then, I was at my mothers for 2 month, at my dads friends house int he burbs for 1 month and a half and then ina shitty, insect fiiled apartment before that(for about 8 months).
Before that I had the dream apartment in the dream neighborhood but I had to move because I was paying too much rent. The cost of perfection was half my monthly pay. Since Jan 1 2011 I’ve been cold(uncomfortable), but like I said, I had two wonderful weeks […]
I have come so far! I started contemplating suicide at the age of 6! probably not an accurate number but i was that young. I am 25 now! I have cried so hard everytime i tried, but now there is a sense of peace that overcomes me when i think of going through with it. The only thing that makes me weep is when i think about the turmoil i will cause my 2 daughters. I am a great father. i wonder if i was a dead beat, would this be easier. Almost everything about my life makes me want to end it all. My […]
I can’t begin to explain how tired I am of everything. Â Tired of being a failure, tired of the loneliness, tired of feeling like an alien that doesn’t belong anywhere, tired of not having any money, tired of putting on a brave face, tired of my shitty family, tired of having “trusted” friends stabbing me in the back, tired of hurting, tired of being hurt, tired of the sadness, tired of missing the only man I ever loved, tired of having everything go wrong, tired of the holidays … most of all, I’m tired of living.
I know people keep saying that tomorrow is the start […]
(( idk…))
{~ Sear Bliss ~ Reverie ~}
I am where the loneliest souls gather
Though I remained all alone..
But may these moments be eternal..
May this dark yet starlit sky shine on me
…Forever!…
my name is alyssa, im a junior in highschool and im only seven-teen. i just turned seven-teen a couple months ago. ive dealt with depression since i was little. the furthest i can remember was when i was in kindergarten, when i started to get these sad feelings. i dont have a father, he abandoned me when i was born and pretended to care by taking me in here and there. only because my grandparents loved me and he lived with them, so he had no choice but to see me. he would steal from me, the clothes my mom would send me with, the […]
It will never be ok…