I’m 30 years old, female. Ever since I was a child, I had a hard life (I prefer to not get into details about that). I never envisioned a real future for myself. While most kids thought about what they wanted to study in college or what they wanted to be when they grow up, there were only 2 things that I envisioned for myself: 1) jumping off high rise buildings to end the suffering, and 2) finding the love of my life to rescue me from this misery and live happily ever after. Well, I’m single now, went through 3 serious/heartbreaking relationships where the […]
Tag:
Lonely
A few years ago, i was in a dark place. I started to self harm when i was in 5th grade. I stopped in 6th. Im in 10th grade now. I promised myself i would never do it again because it just left scars. But now everything is falling apart. I cry every night. I look at my wrists and tell myself no. I cut my wrist today. I felt somewhat better. i have alot to say but i cant say it all at once so i will come back to this site to share my whole story. This is the first i have ever […]
hello internet
i just wanna write something what i think of stuff, hope you can underestand what i mean because english is not my first language. I found this page by searching google for information about hanging. Sitting in my room alone ( im not going to kill myself) just thinking about that if someone wants to kill themselves they should be allowed to. If youre over 18 and havnt got any mental health problems which would affect your ability to make decisions. its your decision and alot of people are lying that they care and just talking stuff like they know but they just saying […]
I’ve been feeling really lonely lately….. just need someone to talk to like 24/7 or something.(like more than just every so often.) idk.. maybe someone my age or close to 14.. doesn’t matter, girl or boy.. please email me or something. and btw i don’t really care how much older you are from me.. i just need someone who won’t leave. Â thank you
-morgan… rawrimaturtle…
Yeah 2 posts in, how much? 3 days? maybe it’s just 2. This is kinda sad. Cause I mean, the thing that I’m writing here, in a language which is not even mine, makes me realise how damn lonely I am here and, well, to feel so lonely to decide to write on a web site twice in 3 days or something it’s kinda depressing. As if I wasn’t depressed even before. But, as always, I’m fucking procastinating.
And the thing is that I’m fucking procastinating cause I don’t wanna get to the point. Cause the point has been just in front of my eyes for days […]
Stupid… shes so dumb. when shes not there. she hangs out with me. OKAY FAKE friend,… shes always trying to be friends with everyone. all the things ive done for her. nd im tired OF IT. TIRED OF IT. Â she sits with me and we laugh nd then shes all ditching me later on . LIKE GETT OFF THAT.. i hate when people use me… but im getting her back. nd then the other girl i talk to . psssh. shes hanging out more with her noww…,.. nd lying to me and stufff… i went to eat alone. … today. i was alone. looking out […]
If you die, just know you could be worst off especially if you don’t believe in anything.
by tigerlily93
written by tigerlily93
There is nothing wrong with being suicidal, but acting on it is.
It is okay to want to die!!
But just know, you prob, feel that way because ou felt unloved or hated by the world, but we have each other.
And, you know what screw the world.
If you think about it some people in the world who arenot suicidal are more messed up than us.
It’s ok
We just have to know our lives aren’t just for us, we love for Jesus and truth and love and all things good, but if you don’t believe that you can die!
And you may not […]
This is my first post on this website, but I know I’ll end up coming back here.
I never thought that I would end up on a site like this, struggling with my identity and hurting myself physically and mentally. I feel dirty and shameful and hypocritical. I always tell my friends and anyone who will listen to never never EVER hurt yourself, that it’s a horrible thing to do and that people love them, but when I do it, it becomes something else. I don’t want anyone to know. It’s my secret. And I don’t want to stop.
I don’t know if I would really say […]
I want to disappear. I don’t think I want to die as such, I just don’t want to exist, either.
That’s it really, I just don’t want to exist anymore. If I could just flick a switch and not be here anymore, I would. I would do it straight away, no questions asked. I suppose that switch is basically a permanent one, a switch of life or death.
That’s the thing though, I’m unsure whether it’s suicide I want. I want to not be here but I don’t want to be dead.
So am I suicidal? Is it suicidal to just want to disappear?
I hate the word ‘suicide’, […]
I am not fat..im a boxer..i just love to eat. I am not ugly..i just dont like tons of makeup. I dont crave attention..i just want somebody..anybody to care.
I AM depressed. I AM lonely. I AM alone. I AM suicidal..why cant you people just help me with my real problems?
I can’t concentrate. I always think about him. I day dream about him everyday and dream about him almost every night. I’m sad when I don’t talk to him. And he’s the only one who can make me happy. When he’s in a bad mood. So am I. When he’s sad. So am I. I can’t stop thinking about him!Â
Is this love?Â
Like in that one song that goes like “love is what you want it to be. It is haven to the lonely”. I think that’s really true!Â
-Morgan……RawrImaTurtle…
Ps:I sill feel broken inside tho. But not when I talk to him. He makes me forget my […]
I wouldn’t say I want to die, or commit suicide. I just feel like I don’t want or belong to this world. I’m seventeen and I’m halfway through my a-levels, the only place out of this dump and I’m not getting through it very easily. This place is horrible. It’s so unambitious and it eats at me. My dad’s messed up from the result of his past drug issues and is on medication. He has serious mood swings, and when I get home from school I fear seeing his car on the drive or the kind of mood he’ll be in when I get through […]
If you think about it.. people always care when you die, they cry and get sad.. but do they really care about you?
NO.. Personally, i don’t feel loved. If i died… nobody would care. People say that all the time i know, but honestly. If only you could live in my shoes, oh my.. I don’t even know. I’m just so lonely, i have people in my life yes, but they don’t care. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO LOVE, WHAT IS LOVE? I’ve never known it. It’s funny because if you saw me, you wouldn’t think that. I’m so bubbly and outgoing but […]
I’m in a strange mood. Â I would almost say a good mood, but I feel that’s misleading. It’s not that my suicidal desires are gone, but that they’re simply pushed back in my mind. Â I know it’s a bad idea to self-diagnose, but moods like this make me wonder if I could be bipolar. Â I feel like my current mood could be described as a hypomanic episode. Â For instance, even though I only had maybe four hours of sleep last night, I feel energetic. I want to go out and do something. Â If I had friends I’d call them up and maybe we’d go to […]
It’s 3 am, I can’t sleep, but I am tired.
I wrote a few weeks back, this is a follow up, things have not gotten any better.
I managed to tell a girl i was inlove with that it was so, she reacted as i had thought, told me there were no feelings and ignored it ever happened, it bothers me. Not just that i feel somewhat heart broken, It’s is not too bad. It is more the feeling that this is the one person i can talk to about my real thoughts, but it is slipping now. I feel myself growing more distant, not daring to […]
This year and last year have been hard.
I found out a couple of  horrible things about my birth parents and family.
I’ve spiraled down ever since that and I’ve relapsed with cutting.
I’m extremely insecure and I hardly ever go out in public except for school.
I’m a shy, secretive person.
It’s hard for me to stick up for myself.
I let people take advantage of my kindness.
I hate how unassertive I am.
I bottle up my feelings because I can’t express them to people.
I’m ashamed of my scars.
I believe I’m too emotional at times.
I’m constantly down on myself because it’s normal for me.
At my old school I was on the swim […]
Things been fucked up more than ever. My boyfriend still can’t show any of warm feelings, acting like a snowman, can’t even make himself tell that he misses me and so on.. So finally i told him, that i’d rather choose not to have him, than having him like that. I asked him not to write me, not to call me, not to find me anymore..except he will find some feelings.. I just couldn’t take that coldness anymore.
My friend called at the same time, i was cryin.. so She took a food, bottle of wine, Marlboro and came up.. Feeded me, drunk me, poison me […]
Im young. Im young, so young and I know I have so much to live for.Â
But I have a destroyed childhood, and family that has lied to me since I could process things through my mind. A mother who cares about herself more than her daughters, who is willing to let her children be molested; verbally and physically beaten. A father who has continuously filled his daughters with hate by verbally, physically and mentally abusing them alongside with their mother. My mother will soon be filled with severe Alzheimer’s and she won’t have me or my sister to help her. Which is just another burden […]
I just stumbled across this site and skimmed some posts and comments and a lot of it seemed so familiar. The issues as well as the advice. Personally, I never found certain kinds of advice helpful but I will refrain from pointing out specific ones and instead just share my story and hope it will help people who are tired of the same old cliched phrases. If not… I think Doug Stanhope is absolutely right when he says (paraphrasing): “Life is like a movie. If it is shitty every step of the way, you shouldn’t blame somebody for walking out early.”
And I am going to […]
When i want to feel the love that everyone surrounds me with , I can’t . I feel so alone and empty , i wish i knew a way out that does not involve hurting myself . I just want everything to be okay again . I do not want anxiety , fear , pain , sadness, or anything . I just want to be … well i don’t know what i want to be . If i cant be lonely and upset , what else is there?