“We’re all lying to the mirror, lying to ourselves.”
I’ve never felt right on this earth. I’ve been depressed and made small attempts (self harm?) since primary school. I had a loving (if alcoholic and over controlling) mother who took her own life by car exhaust when I was 12. My sleep pattern got fucked, school work started slipping and I started cutting. I got close to a full attempt and chickened out at the last minute when I was 14. My dad was just really angry and refused to let me seek help. I had a grief counsellor, but I’m not sure […]
I
this all actually started a long time ago , in my first grade they were lots of kids who hated me for no reason they called me names they were spitting on me and once almost hit me but i ran away.
it was like that for a long time and since the 6TH grade i started cutting they stopped bulling but i started cutting i was in a depression  i felt lonely like nobody loves me.
everynight i cry myself to sleep
now im in 8TH grade i […]
I feel numb right now, Â maybe of the anti depressants im taking, they make me feel weird. I cant sleep even though ive taken enough sleeping tablets to knock me out 3 times. I dont have anyone to talk to. I dont have the energy to write details, but here is my basic story.
My life for as long as I can remember has been unhappy, Ive been physically & mentally abused all my life. It made me insecure, I developed an eating disorder, self harmed and was suicidal a long time, I told myself when i’m older I wont feel like this and it will […]
I’m not even sure how to do all this, I haven’t taken the time to read through everything. I just need to get this out. Now.
I think too much, way too much. I’m a 40 year old female who has thought about dieing since I was a teenager. I guess I’ve always been scared to live. I was bullied horribly in school. I never felt like I was good enough for my parents… But all of that is more than 2 decades in the past. Maybe that is what started my depression. I can’t even remember not being depressed. Now though, I’m on medication that […]
I wanted to talk about a couple of things today, one being coping strategies the other being about myself.
Starting with coping strategies; for years I have been told about trying various different methods to help me through depressive states, even how to cope in different ways other than cutting. Things like exercise, music, writing/diaries; stop me when it sounds familiar. I have tried all of those, and although some might have worked a couple of times, they were not long term strategies I could use and were often very useless.
Recently I stumbled upon origami, I have never really  been interested and for some reason now […]
Let us take a walk, follow me to the edge of this building. The climb up here
was very tough wasn’t it? Did you say a hundred flights to the top? I guess the
elevator is still out of order than? I have been up here for a long time. I’ve
been looking down at this city. Don’t worry we can’t fall off from this ledge.
I’ve fallen enough times in my life, once more wouldn’t be so bad anyway. I
didn’t mean to trouble you my friend. Are you cold? It can be chilly out here
exposed to the world. Here take my coat. […]
I am tired of studying, I’m tired of working, paying my bills, doing the dishes, crossing the street. I am tired of my morning coffee. I am tired of making small talk while watching your fake face smiling at me. I’m tired of all the mundane little inconveniences of being alive… I am tired of doing the laundry, reading books, brushing my hair, I am tired of caring, smiling, pretending and all the other symptoms of life…. my ears are going deaf listing to your lies and my lies, my eyes are going blind from you betrayals and my betrayals. Stop,,, I want it all […]
Hi,my name is George,im 23 and i will die soon.
I’ve been wanting for a while now to find a forum where i can share my story,i guess everybody that wants to die wants to share his story.
I’ve been battling with depression for almost 4 years now,and i’ve been planing for a while now how to die,i just want this life to be over,i feel i suffered enough and i just can’t take it anymore..the pain..the loneliness..the dissapointments,but most of all not having anyone to ask for help..having someone i can explain that im suffering and i need help.
I dont have much of a family,i’ve had […]
Hey. I’m 14, a freshman, and a survivor. I wanna share my story.
November 28, 2012. This is the day I swallowed 29 Prozac. This is the day I felt so alone, like always, but like I didn’t even deserve to breathe. I felt like I didn’t deserve anything. I was nothing. Worthless. A nobody. I’d lost everything. My mom. My bestfriend. My sanity. And someone took my innocence.
Two days earlier Nov. 26, 2012 I went to hangout with my bestfriend. He was 17. Yes I’m a girl. Yes he’s a boy. Yes we were bestfriends. We’d been that way for a long […]
A long time ago there was a girl.
She was happy and care free.
Then she woke up.
The children got meaner,
Her parents’ “constructive criticisim” got harder and harder.
His hand got higher and higher.
The secrets grew deeper and deeper.
She began to lose her smile.
Her laugh
Her voice.
She walks now. A prisoner in her own mind.
She’s nothing but a shell.
So long now its been, she cant even remember what its like to be happy.
She did everything to feel anything.
She became what her father always knew she would.
She clung to the razor to remind herself she’s alive.
She drank so she wouldn’t remember the night.
She took the drugs to numb the pain […]
I hurt. For a long time. The world fell apart… it collapsed beneath my feet. Things took a horrible turn, and I thought it was over. My pain would be gone. My hurt. My life. It would all be gone. And it didn’t feel bad about it, in fact it felt amazing. Then, I stopped myself. And things got better. I tried harder. I made myself feel better. But when you think about it, your pain is always going to be there. It’ll never leave you. That’s exactly what happened. It all came crashing back.
I’ve helped my friends. They’ve all had thoughts too. But, I […]
~Broken~
When will you learn?
That I am not always going to be there
For you to vent you’re anger on,
That I am not a toy to you,
And you will push me to the brink
I will hurt, over and over,
Cutting deeper and deeper
Until everything in me is ruined,
Until I have hurt so much it isn’t possible to hurt any more.
When will you try?
To help me
To stop hurting me
To make me feel like I was supposed to be born
To help me not be afraid
Of you,
Of trusting you,
Of loving you,
’cause I can’t survive the destroying of my heart
I won’t always be able to pick up the pieces,
To mold them […]
yesterday, I experienced the first caring touch I have felt in a long time. Though only brif, it was still real…untill I woke up. =(
 this is pretty much what I would say…
Dear Someone:
First of all, I don’t think I can explain why I’ve done this so if you’re hoping to get that from this letter, just know I will probably disappoint you. Second, also know that I have always detested suicide letters. I think it’s a load because I know nothing I say is going to matter. The only reason I can think of for doing this is so that people can’t ***** that “She didn’t even leave a note†– blah. As if it will make a difference. People will draw their own conclusions and forensic psychologists and […]
My life just took an 180º turn.. for worst.
So I had my appointment with the psychologist today. Needless to say that two minutes in and he was already giving me paper tissues. I was crying my heart out. I told him pretty much everything. Concentration problems, trouble sleeping, depression, lack of memories, suicidal thoughts (I explained I wouldn’t do it because of my mom tho). And according to him, I should had seeked help a long time ago, as now I am so deep into depression.
Result from appointment: Tomorrow I have another appointment with the psychiatrist so I can start right away taking antidepressives and […]
So, I have this doctor’s appointment tomorrow.
I’ll try to explain this briefly:
Initially I made this appointment to try and get adderall/ritalin to be able to focus while studying – cus my concentration is zero, for a long time now.
Then, I realized I need to bring up my sleeping problems, cus it’s getting really bad, I can’t sleep, even with sleeping pills, and as last week I was sleeping 16hours, this week I’m sleeping about 4hours. It’s getting weird.
Now, I’m wondering if I should mention the depression (obviously I won’t talk about the suicidal thoughts). I was doing some research and adderall/ritalin apparently is sometimes used […]
The doctors just gave me the diagnose schizophrenia. Actually I have suffered from it from since I was 12. I am 19 now.
It makes me sad, becourse I know that it will never go away, and I have to take pills for the rest of my life, and the bad periods will still be here to torment me.
I have found a rope, and have managed myself to tie a hangmans knot on it. Now the big step is to step up on the stool, tie the rope to the waterpipe under the ceiling, put the noose around my thin neck, and kick away the stool. […]
Hi I’m Ana.
I made an account because this site looked interesting, and I’ve been suicidal for a long time. So while I’m here, I just thought I’d give you some general information about myself.
-I’m 15 years old, and more mature than a lot of teenagers my age.
-Female
-I’m insecure about a lot of things, but one thing about myself is that I’m damn well proud of my body.
-I’m easily angered.
-I don’t share a lot of personally information.
Disorders, Hospitalizations, Self-harm History
Disorders
(None of these have been self-diagnosed)
Mood Disorder (most likely bi-polar)
Anxiety Disorder
Sexual Re-activity Disorder
Anorexia Nervosa
13 months ago My Ex-girlfriend of 3+ years broke up with me for another guy.
When your in a relationship for a long time you become disillusioned, you forget that what you and your partner say to each other is just a thing of the moment really. “I will always love you forever”. You forget that things can change quiet easily.
I was pretty devastated at the time and couldn’t get past it.
For the next 9+ Â months I would be moping around, thinking about her and wishing things would have worked out differently.
For a while I was convincing myself that she was simply […]