Tag:

lose

Well, I got my reply.

by Nina 12/22/2015

written by Nina

Over the weekend I think I finally hit rock bottom. I tried so desperately to get an answer or reasons for things that have been completely out of my control. I learned the hard way to just let things go.

I saw our love as perfect and honest. He saw it as suffocating and disgusting. He felt chocked by me; hopelessly controled by me, to the point where he claims that all of it made him sick.

It hurts when the person you once loved more than anything views you as this selfish and insane creature. This miserable being that all she wants is to […]

12/22/2015 20 comments

Lose Yourself

by JiminyCrispies 12/20/2015

written by JiminyCrispies

Everyone often asks who the worst person to lose is. The answers vary, mostly dependent on your age. Usually it’s either a family member. Your mum, or dad, or some other person of blood relation. As you get older it would change to maybe a friend. And then to a significant other. Those are the three answers everyone gives. But I think the worst person to lose is yourself. You are the only one who truly knows yourself, you know everything, the ins and outs. What makes you tick, what the only thing is that can make you happy sometimes. You control who knows what […]

12/20/2015 2 comments

Roller Coaster

by the_quiet_1 12/14/2015

written by the_quiet_1

My life is like a roller coaster, it has it’s ups and downs, parts were I scream and parts were I feel safe. But if it’s one thing I learn I’m the maker of that roller coaster, I chose what happens good or bad. So I can’t really blame people for my mistakes. I’m the maker of what goes on in my life. If I want things to go right I must go up my roller coaster instead of down. I have to change how my roller coaster is, I can’t have it going down no more. I have to be a new […]

12/14/2015 4 comments

Empty

by evildandelions 12/13/2015

written by evildandelions

I feel so heart-broken, that even having my depression improve doesn’t feel important to me. I want to be happy with my ex-fiance. It feels so cruel for my depression to maybe finally lift a little, only to lose the most important person to me. I feel like a part of myself is missing.

It just all feels so impossible. Like it can’t be happening. Or that it shouldn’t be happening. I just can’t stand it.

I have a friend coming to visit me. I invited him because I really need a friend, in person, right now. I don’t have any local friends. But I don’t know […]

12/13/2015 1 comment

Tired of Hiding Behind a Smile

by Ylem 12/11/2015

written by Ylem

I’m breaking. I’ve reached breaking point.

If I don’t talk to anyone about this, I will lose this battle. But I’m scared. I’m so scared to talk to anyone in my family. As much as they understand what I’m going through since they are going through the same thing, I doubt they do. (Not sure if that makes sense.) They will just tell me to tough it out like they always do.

Well… I’m so tired of being tough. I’m tired of having to pretend I am strong. I am so weak right now, I can hardly put up a fake smile. I can barely get […]

12/11/2015 12 comments

because love is insanity…

by alexia 12/10/2015

written by alexia

you are you and i am me.we could be us…it would be..how can i put this..brilliant would be an understatement.i lose myself in your details and i lose myself more when u tell me that “i love you is because i don t love you yet” . i ask you again..can you see yourself? can u observe yourself like i do? i don t know you…i mean come on…i don t know you but it s enough to hear you…to listen to how you laugh and speak..and to imagine the expression of your face..and i already know i like you. and jesus…i so like you.i […]

12/10/2015 0 comment

So much work

by notsureifreadytogo 12/3/2015

written by notsureifreadytogo

So many lose ends to tie. Is it stalling? Is it because I care about the ones left behind? Does it matter once you’re gone? Its so hard to do anything. To even leave the house. I think I do care, if I didnt, I’d just keep going. Waiting on a paycheck to buy my materials. Gotta write the letters, leave a clean house, and find the thing I need to do the job. It sucks. I think only here can someone understand what its like to want something so badly, and not want it at all either.

12/3/2015 3 comments

I haven’t killed myself yet… and I think she’s why…

by Chaucer 12/3/2015

written by Chaucer

So here I am again. Alive and healthy, better than actually, my physic is great. Maybe that’s irony? Does that make me a coward? A fake? How long have I wanted to die after all?
I wanna say it’s harder when you see the people it would hurt, and you know they’ve gone though a lot of the same pain you have, and you wouldn’t hesitate to die to spare them just a little more. Maybe that’s what it means to have a reason to live? But since when do I care about other people? I’m the asshole. That’s how it works. I don’t build […]

12/3/2015 3 comments

From the bottom of my heart, I see a man I wanna be but couldn’t be.

by Rotted_Flesh 11/8/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

You want me to be the best that I could be
When you never showed me the very best that you could be.
From the bottom of my heart,
I see a man I wanna be but couldn’t be.
You are nothing like me.

I know you’re watching me watch you fail.
I can see the look in your eyes, you’re getting pale.
Please lose your blues or know that I don’t give a fuck, I could live without you.
Please lose your blues.

Time and time again I wanted to tell you I love you,
I forgive you, but I can’t hold you.
Oh god what […]

11/8/2015 2 comments

Trying something new.

by abisslover25 11/2/2015

written by abisslover25

My whole life I have been used and abandoned by men. After my last heartbreak I pretty much broke. I have been overweight most my life but once lost 100lbs. While I don’t have that much to lose again I think I’m going to use my anger and frustration and put it back into working out.

I am going to concentrate on me and my health for awhile. I want to get fit again and then instead of a relationship I’m thinking of escorting. (Not prostitution). I just need something to shoot for a goal. I can’t “use” people without their knowledge so this is as […]

11/2/2015 9 comments

Help

by Kenziecake074 10/29/2015

written by Kenziecake074

I hang out with a group of friends.but i feel left out most of the time. I have more friends then my group of about 5 but the jave there own groups. I need some one to talk to before i lose my mind. I feel alone and i want it to stop please.

10/29/2015 3 comments

lose a moment to win a life

by jano.11 10/27/2015

written by jano.11

i dont want to hurt anyone , or remaind you of what you want to forget ..
some of us had been raped , and other had been used and saled ,others had a bad parents , or bad social live , or had been failure .. we all have something that is pushing us to the edge .. but we won’t fall
we might think that we have the worst life ever . but we forget to think about other people .. while we are here sitting infront of our laptops or mobile phones in our worm rooms ,, have the ability to eat […]

10/27/2015 4 comments

am i alone in this??

by fearandhatred 10/18/2015

written by fearandhatred

I have this major fear of losing people. i have lost a lot of people in my life, including basically every family member. i have a small group of close friends and im scared that one day i might lose them. they are all i have. we have graduated from high school and we are all doing our own things, some are in college and some are in the armed forces, we dont live near each other any more. we all live in different places because of college and the armed forces and i am terrified that i will lose them! i cant lose them! […]

10/18/2015 3 comments

body issues

by fearandhatred 10/12/2015

written by fearandhatred

ive always felt ugly. i am fat and ugly. i recently lost a lot of weight. i went from weighing 180lbs to weighing 145lbs but now i weigh 160lbs and i am just so ugly and weak. food is my weakness. i love food but i hate it at the same time. this happens all the time. i lose the weight but then i gain a lot of weight, i dont know why. i hate the way i look. it depresses me, it really really depresses me. i cry about it all the time. my body is a big issue of mine. i just cant […]

10/12/2015 8 comments

Superimposition: Death

by RT :) 10/6/2015

written by RT :)

Somewhere, in some other time, i am living my nightmare;
Here and now, i am living my perfect life;
Here and in some other time, i am living my nightmare;
Somewhere and now, i am living my perfect life;
I am living my other self’s perfect life, while my other self is living a nightmare.
My other self is living my perfect life, while i am living my nightmare.
Connected only through dreams…
Through dreams….
I can taste what a perfect life would taste like
Through dreams……
I come to know of sorrows and losses which can make my life hell
Connected only by dreams…..

10/6/2015 0 comment

Hell

by RT :) 9/29/2015

written by RT :)

What can i expect to find in Paradise….
i will be bored with such a contended life….
I will happily embrace Hell,
As it will still have a purpose, a hope.
I will wake-up ever day for a new punishment
With the hope that may be this is the day
When God will forgive me and this punishment will be over
And i know, i will never be forgiven;
And i know, i will never lose this hope
…..
But….It seems like i am already in hell; No?
And i have a hope that one day
i will wake up from this nightmare and
this […]

9/29/2015 3 comments

scared to hope

by spvnalittlelie 9/26/2015

written by spvnalittlelie

i don’t know if things are slowly getting better, or gearing up to get worse and this is just the calm before the storm. in any case, between my last entry nearly two months ago and today, not much has happened, except for 2 things: my dad has stopped abusing my mom while drunk (for the most part), and my suicidal thoughts have finally calmed the fuck down (at least for now). i still am living the shut-in life of an obese, unemployed 18-year-old (soon to be 19). but i’m looking to change that also, starting with a diet and exercise plan (which i am […]

9/26/2015 4 comments

The past is never just the past..

by Cro0kedYoung 9/25/2015

written by Cro0kedYoung

No matter how long ago something happened, it always find a way to cross your mind days, weeks, months or even years after it was passed.

Its been 6 and a half years since I was taken away from my mother, when my whole family and home life came crashing down on me. Today something managed to spark those memories without a second thought, and only now do I realise how much that impacted me. How different my life would be if it hadn’t crashed and burned all those years ago. I don’t believe my family realise how much that effected me and to this day […]

9/25/2015 4 comments

This will be long..

by radi0active-f_ckup 9/22/2015

written by radi0active-f_ckup

Around November, 2011, I met him. I was almost 12 (I’m 15 now), & he was 22.. I fucking fell for him so hard. I never even knew what it was like to be in love with someone, but goddamn I fucking knew that he was the one I wanted to be with. At first, we were okay with each other.. We met because he was my mom’s tattoo artist, & they happened to be really good friends. My mom had recently found out about me self-harming, so she introduced me to him, & told me that if I ever needed someone, I could go […]

9/22/2015 8 comments

by TheLoner2 9/20/2015

written by TheLoner2

i hate being around people, even if its just me and one person. i like my bubble where i dont have to talk to any one i can just sit and go into my own little world and ignore everyone else or at least try to, but when someone is around its like “damn now i have to make awkward conversation with someone who probably wont like me anyway.” and dont get me in a crowd of people, fuck me ill have a complete mental brake down if i dont have my ear plugs. i cant wait until this is all over. Monday will come […]

9/20/2015 0 comment

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