… I just got a call.. From my best friends brother… She died at 10:48. They couldn’t save her. They said she lost too much blood… That there was no hope to save her… Amanda…my best friend…you promised me..that we were both stuck here with each other… and you left.. Without calling me, without telling me.. without taking me with you… You alone got me through my hospitalization. You gave me hope. You were the only one that could make me laugh anymore… Whose gonna make me laugh now? Whose gonna tell me it’s ok? Whose gonna remember the times we had at the unit? […]
Tag:
Lost
And I’ve lost, I took a gamble and tried getting my campus involved for the first time in the university elections. However personally I have won! I’ve spoke to 1000’s of people, taking the time to explain what a students union is and connected with people that have been unrepresented, neglected and forgotten for too long. The guy that won was a unknown, I am so glad that someone new to the Union won it!
Today as I write this I am going fail my dissertation, 40 credits wasted, and without a miracle 4 years of university wasted. Its not all been bad, at least I’ve […]
My mum is cheating on my dad with someone else. And I think I know who that person is. My best friend’s dad. I found out, and I can’t tell anyone. Because if I did, everyone’s world would change. Everyone around me will be affected severely.
I’ve been living this awful secret for almost 8 years. I knew this since I was really young. My mum left her phone at home (which she NEVER lets us use). I was young, and I went through her messages and found things I shouldn’t be finding or knowing. Sappy, disgusting messages. I read each one with tears in my […]
Fuck everything, I don’t matter? Im nothing. Every night after I get home from school is cry, all night. I try to be happy then I just over think everything and it makes me angry. The only time I’m ever happy is when I’m either smoking or drinking. I’m young and I’ve already fucked up my life. Why don’t I just die now? I have nothin in my life, my mom and dad are divorced and they both hate me, I never can fucking do anything right. I try and get good grades but I can’t, I just can’t. I try I try so hard […]
Why did this have to happen?… the world hates people like me and I dont know how to make people happy now…. my mom is getting re-married my dad wants to kill himself my brother is never home and when he is he never wants to talk to me I even have got to the point I cant go on anymore…… It would be best for everyone too they all hate my soul…..I have been shot.. stabbed..and my own mother said I was just better off dead because the world doesnt need another *****…..why?…..why is thhis going on right now?……. please….help…..me……….
I feel more and more exhausted every single day. It’s not a physical exhaustion…more of a mental and emotional exhaustion. My mind is constantly running. Running running running. I can’t ever get it to shut up. Unless I’m high. I’d love to just start cutting again, but I really don’t want to add anymore scars to my little collection. I already get looked at like I’m some sort of fucking parasite if I dare wear a tank top.
I really am on the verge of losing it. I don’t want to make my parents upset…after the last death, I couldn’t ever put my parents through that. […]
it’s sad to think i’m only fifeteen and i have tried to kill myself two times. yes two times. my mom found me both times, in the bathroom. In seventh grade i lost my best friend to suicide, i just wanted to see her. so i thought if i cut deeper i would bleed out. i passed out and i woke up in the hospital. they gave me pills for depression and i had to go to therapy. the second time i tried to i almost OD on pills i found in my moms room, i couldn’t get the bottle open and i was screaming […]
Hi guys, I hope every is feeling better today, even its just a little better, better is better.
I have started teaching at the weekends, its one of the ways i cope with my deppression, i used to be seriously depressed a few years ago, after a few trips to the er a few weeks in rehab and with the help of a new found friend i have my life back.
I work in a rape crysis center, so i talk to people on prohibly the worst day of there lifes, its tough and it tears me upinside, but i achually get to help someone it makes it all […]
So Much Stuff Can Go Through A Girl’s Mind .. It’s Funny How At My Age I Had To Go Through All This, It’s Not Even Fair. I Turned 16 On January 29th .. My First Birthday Without My Father, Still None Cared.. Plus I Didn’t Wanted None To Feel Pitty For Me. As I Said On My Other Post .. My Mom Got A New Boyfriend .. We Moved To His House 3 Week’s go. I Had To Leave All My Friend’s Again And The Best-Boy Friend In The Whole World. She Moved My World Up Side Down Back Again Just Like She Did […]
I wouldn’t say I want to die, or commit suicide. I just feel like I don’t want or belong to this world. I’m seventeen and I’m halfway through my a-levels, the only place out of this dump and I’m not getting through it very easily. This place is horrible. It’s so unambitious and it eats at me. My dad’s messed up from the result of his past drug issues and is on medication. He has serious mood swings, and when I get home from school I fear seeing his car on the drive or the kind of mood he’ll be in when I get through […]
Every now and then I catch myself getting lost in my thoughts. I know Im not the only one, but at times I feel that I do it more than some. My paranoia will kick in, I start getting lost in the thoughts, and ideas that it brings. I catch myself thinking that this and that are true, but deep down I KNOW that they are NOT true. This has gotten worse within the past couple of years. I know that the thoughts I have are not true, but I often think what if that is, what if that will happen? When this first occured […]
I’ve written about this before but I feel the need to write about it again. When I’m depressed I’m happy.
Let me explain…
Today for the first time in awhile I wasn’t depressed at all. I haven’t been on any antidepressants for two days and all of a sudden I can breathe. I’m tempted to start taking them again so I get worse. When I’m depressed people worry about me. It’s the only time I know they actually care about and love me. They take care of me so I don’t have to. I guess too that I’m so familiar with sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, hatefulness, shame, guilt […]
give up how to edit two posts. wasn’t at all I want to say. I tried edit over and over I feel worse now than ever. what I was trying to say is I lost my house , my daughter did everything she should to complete high school, even a year early. have lost my house and living in temporary housing. I really dont want to be on this earth anymore. I am in no way helping my family. I’m not scared to go, I just don’t want them to hate me.
I tried to be so nice to people I am I think a mistake my kindness for weakness. I have a lot of learning disabilities. true while I was really feeling well. I got my real estate license and I started really doing well. now I have lost my home to foreclosure. my daughter has done everything she said she finished high school are your early. and now her friends are going to college and I cannot help her. I’ve lost the house I built and now im living in temporary housing. I know money isn’t everything but I can survive and I’m not […]
I’ve finally finished reading through all my posts on here in the last three years.
ALL 101.
It honestly doesn’t seem like I’ve been doing this for that long, writing on here. It seemed like just yesterday I didn’t know what I was going to do with all my thoughts and feelings of suicide, keeping them wrapped up in my head could only keep me sane for so long and I was afraid I was going to lose it completely, more so then I already had.
Then I found this site, a place where I could get all my feelings out, where I could talk to others who […]
Past a few weeks after crash with me and my Love. I divorced with him, he didn’t with me. Really insane situation. He still needs time and time after time making some short conversation, but as a real Black Scorpio i am living my life without him and not hoping anything.
Before this boyfriend i had a very very very very very big symphaty. He is so great: very funny, smart, working as a reanimatologist, so beautiful, but… usualy he’s just bastard – telling everything what he thinks and talking very dirty things. Last summer we’ve been dating, but he never kissed me as french or […]
My heart is breaking. i cannot do this anymore. i’m just a shell of who i was, im no longer there, so why do you try to keep me here, when it’s not me anymore? my demons have overpowered me, the voices in my head have overpowered me, and the people have too….
i cannot keep living this way, i will not survive the physical and emotion pain anymore. im sick off this. i cant keep living. it hurts to wake up in the morning. i wish i could be strong like him, but i cant. It hurts to breathe. I wish […]
So this is my first post.. sorry if it’s not very clear or easy to understand. I’m just lost.
So i never thought i would be this way. I had a great childhood, and at 20 i still feel like a kid sometimes. Like a kid that was just testing out the water and all the sudden was pushed in. Except in this imaginary world, i don’t know how to swim. So here i am struggling to stay above water. Now i’m not sure if it’s worth the effort anymore.
To put it simply, i feel so empty inside. I’m sure part of the reason is because […]
I’ve probably had depression my whole life. It runs in my family, and I was diagnosed at age 13. I am now 18. When I was 13 years old and in the eighth grade, my mom passed away unexpectedly on the morning of Christmas Eve. I began seeing therapists, but it was too soon and I got frustrated and was not getting the help I needed. The very same day I lost my mom, I was forced out of my house by the police. My father, brother, and I had to find somewhere else to live. We moved 5 times between Christmas 2006 and May […]
I have no clue what I’m doing or how i found this webpage… I just attempted suicide today and I didn’t even realize it… I’m just gunna vent and rant about my life story now…Keep scrolling if you don’t care…which you probably don’t…
Ok…so I’ve been cutting myself for two years. On December 8th, 2011 I cut myself at school and got caught (I know I’m stupid for doing that but I really had to…) And in 2 hours…I was ripped away from everything I knew and put in a mental institute 2 hours away from where I live. I attempted suicide while I was there. […]