Okay so my kind of suicidal is more like hours of disgusting contemplation over the most gruesome way to kill myself. But I’m not always suicidal, I am usually a very happy person. This feeling is only ensued when….I even get angry typing it out…..when my parents mention marrying me off. And I’m only ******* seventeen and I’m still a junior in high school (I started school late). I get extremely angry and my head starts throbbing (I can even hear it beating), and my body starts shaking like crazy. I go to an empty room and cry my heart and eyes out. I think […]
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Lot
Hello guys, (edit: why is my post all written in green? its hard to read :S highlighting the text with your mouse helps)
I’ve been thinking about suicide pretty much my entire life. This is going to be quite straight up but bear with me. First, let’s talk a bit about myself so you now a little bit more about who’s writing this.
I am now 23 years old, on my last year of university here in Quebec, Canada. I’ve been studying marketing since I’ve always been really good at selling and customer service. My real passions, however, are sports, videogames and marijuana. Yes, marijuana. I won’t […]
Why is this blogging site called THE SUICIDE PROJECT, what do they mean by project. Is this a site studying emotions of dpressed people. I know I will get a lot of rage comments but I would like to know. It sounds stupid just reading it over. But still I wish to know
Im trying to write my final note – But i don’t wanna sound to boring and ” woah is me ” – so without further ado is an excerpt from my suicide letter –
I lost interest in everything , even music , Music was my everything , my comfort , my hobbies , my lifestyle , Even being a piano player for eight years you would think i would have come to love and cherish every moment i could play on my beloved piano- But i was ( excuse me – am) so broken , even my beloved music couldn’t […]
I’ve never been so lost in my entire life. I don’t even know where to start.
I’ve been depressed, anxious, and suicidal my whole life. It’s been miserable. It’s so hard having nobody to talk to. My family doesn’t understand. Every single day I put on my fake smile and act like I’m okay, but I’m not. I try to get my parents to hear me. I cry out, but nobody listens. I’m invisible to them.
I have no idea what I’m doing with me life. My dreams were always shot down. They said I wasn’t special and that I’d never make it. I still believe I can. But […]
I actually know why I’m still here… it’s because I’m really too scared to kill myself. Â But even though I have a daughter and husband and family and friends who all love me, I’m suffering. Â I’m suffering a lot and I don’t want to continue to suffer the rest of my life. Â How is it considered selfish of ME to want to end my suffering, but not of THEM to want to keep me around for no good reason other than they want me here. Â And I don’t even know why they want me. Â I’m not a great parent (she’s 3 and I can’t even […]
I’ve done so many bad things I don’t know if there’s hope for redemption and I feel like I may as well end my life. Â About a year ago I started drinking heavily and started consorting with people from the gutter. Â I then began using drugs and since then have continued to use Cocaine. Â Every time I do it, it’s after drinking a lot and I drink a lot because I feel despair and lost, and then the next day I feel even worse. Â My wife wants to divorce me, I’ve ruined our finances, I’ve cheated, stole, and gone from being a good father […]
I dont want attention. I dont want anyones pity. I dont want people to tell me how I was wronged in this big bad world. I dont want people touching me, hugging me..
I dont want to acknowledge how hard I have been hitting rock bottom for months. Not months, years. Ive been hitting it over and over again, and I think I finally managed to break the ground and go beneath it.
What I really want is for someone to hold me. Not just a hug. I want to be hold all night to wake up in those same arms the next morning. I want […]
There are 1,600 people in my school and I feel so alone. I have a lot of friends, but I can never truly be myself around them. No one understands me and they all think I’m weird if I say the “wrong” thing, so I have built a wall between me and them. The only person who I can truly be myself around has moved thousands of miles away /: It just makes me so frustrated that out of all my friends at school, none of them truly know me.
what am i hiding?
my whole life is a lie
 will i ever be okay again?
why won’t anyone believe me?
i’m tired of trying
i’m worthless
these are just a few of my millions of thoughts… i’m trying so hard to sort them out. i hate when i think like this because there are so many thoughts and a lot of them aren’t good and they hit me all at once, and then i can’t think about anything else. i’m never free from all the thoughts that haunt me.
i am only 20 pounds overweight at 6’8. i have really high cholesterol though. I’m in college now and i workout for 3.5 hours on average everyday and a lot more on the weekends. so Why in the fucking hell can’t i stop sweating when i walk to class on a 5min walk. Girls come up and flirt with me all the time and I’m always sweating. like its so fucking annoying. help
It feels… heavy, I suppose. Like everything weighs a lot more than it really does, like just getting up takes a lot of effort, like my bones are so heavy that I only move when I absolutely have to. Sometimes I have to talk myself into doing tiny, simple things that shouldn’t take a second thoughts, but they are so exhausting at times and dragging myself through the motions takes so much effort it’s barely worthwhile any more. And I’m not heavy at all, I just feel it. I don’t feel as light and as free as I actually am, even though I know I […]
I tried to be happy[ish] and stop putting myself  down so much, but it didn’t really work out. I was relatively happy for about 3 months, but I don’t think I was happy at all. I forced myself to not think anything bad, and I would always push a ‘bad’ thought out of my mind as soon as it appeared. It was mentally tiring, I guess. So I gave up. If I am to be happy, I want it to be real and not me just being in denial. So now I’m back to being depressed. Although I have to say I am a lot […]
Hello, my name is Viktor D.
I’m from Serbia, and I have a lot of emotional problems, along problems with people.
I am a metal-head and people who don’t know what metal is and how good metal-people are, and that they also have emotions, and can be soft and good to other people and nice, polite etc. but when I see other people who don’t understand what it is, and when I see them make fun of it and me and my friends, it makes me burst with rage, but then I understand that even if they somehow get better and start to understand, there are […]
IÂ cut. A lot..
I’ve done it for about a year. I swore to myself I would never harm myself like that, but look where I am now. I have an arm and two ankles covered in scars and cuts. I think of cutting as a stronger way of crying; i feel so weak just bursting into tears, so intsted i cut, it shows i’m strong enough to deal with pain. But now I know I need to stop. People who mean so much to me tell me I need to stop. I’m loosing people because of it. I nearly went to hospital because the bleeding wouldn’t stop. […]
The title really says it all. I’m having a lot of flashbacks from different difficults parts of my life and I just want them to stop or at least reduce. So does anyone have any hints or tricks on how to stop/reduce them?
CPC
People think I’m happy, but I’m not. I never tell anyone about my feelings. So i just wanted to share my story here, and say what I don’t have courage to say to people around me.
Apparently, I have a really good life. I have a loving family and lots of friends who care about me. I’m shy but I always try to be nice and people tend to like me. I’m a university student and get good marks, I have a part-time job and I still have some time for my hobbies. The problem is, I’m not happy with that. I don’t know why I’m […]
Should I kill myself in front of them and would their lives be better?
by Ineed2die
written by Ineed2die
I won’t lie to you guys, I’m not like a lot of those people who use this site. I don’t have the worst life ever, I don’t want to kill myself since I don’t like living. I want to kill myself because either people would forget me or I would be making their lives a better place by giving them one less loser to worry about. My plan was to purchase a Maverick 88 shotgun and bring it to school with me, (I wouldn’t shoot any of my fellow students GOD NO! I could never do that) Hide it in a gym bag or something […]
My mum used to be my best friend. While I was attending high school, we used to commute together, so we grew really close, spending two hours in the car together every day. When we stopped commuting, it wasn’t as easy, but we still spent a lot of time together. I felt like I could tell her anything. My brother is verbally abusive to me, and she has always been there to help me handle him.
Ever since she started dating, though, it’s like I’ve fallen off the face of the planet. She works during the week and will go to his place after an hour […]
Everyone says love yourself but I can’t. I hate myself. I look in the mirror and I see ugly and horrible. I made a lot of mistakes in my life, but that one night went too far. I lost the person I really like and my friend you talked me into it but when i did it you got mad you knew i was drugged . I hate myself. It shouldn’t have happened. But it did. Now i look in the mirror and I see skin and bones and slashes through out my body. I hate myself. Everyone is right, I shouldn’t be here. I’m […]