I made a Kik specifically for you guys here on SP. Just in case anyone ever needs or wants to talk, vent, rant, etc privately, it’s anoynomus and I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can. Just so you know I’m here for all of you, whether I know you or not. The username is haileeonsp. Have a lovely night guys.
Call it aftermath shes turing blue
Such a lovely colour for you
Call it aftermath shes turning blue
Such a lovely colour for your eyes
Call it aftermath shes turning blue
While I just sit and stare at you.
Woke up with this song in my head. Was playing the album last night but fell asleep at the first song. Subliminal listening. Cool.
Have a good day everyone.
They don’t have to know.
Heck, they shouldn’t even know!
I can’t even explain why do I want to do this. But I just can’t face this anymore.
All those weird stares and subtle jabs, even from my lovely, caring parents.
I really should die, shouldn’t I.
I guess places like this are why people love anonymous Internet posting so much.
If we met in person, I doubt we’d be friends. I doubt I’d get the lovely support I have been the last few days.
I might be one of the people you felt excluded, or trodden down by.
My friends are the ones with the bright smiles and pretty hair. My family loves and supports me. I got my chance to get an education, and was successful at it. I was never abused. I’ve never been dragged through the gutter.
People say I’m funny, and sweet, maybe too sarcastic sometimes. They think I’m smart and […]
I’ve started writing poetry about how i feel from day to day, I would like it if i could get some advice on what i wrote
Thanks
Beauty,
It is so lovely
The deeper we sink into depression
It sooner blossoms in our fears and our desperation
It tears our hearts and makes them bleed
But it is a new start, a new beginning
No matter how deep the pain flows
In the deepest veins it courses
It travels, It spreads
Yet still, is the light in our dark and gloomy life
Every life is sad and lonely
the people who learn to accept it live happier
Thank you for your lovely comments about my posts. Here’s a bunch of my favourite Spring flowers just for you (but others are also welcome to appreciate them!)
My mood is seemingly leveling out after I cleared things up with a close one, and also simplified my life. I kinda closed the part of my life that concerned less than legal practices which did me wonders. I felt this impending sense of doom, like my life as I know and understand it could come to close. While a structured day with free meals and anal rape sounded lovely, what would I ever do without the internet? I still suffer from hyperhydrosis of the under-arms on a daily basis, which brings me enough tension to push me to the brink of suicide or total […]
My initial and his form part of my butterfly tattoo – K and A. Unless you know where to look, they’re hard to pick out. Like a special code which requires deciphering.
I’ve known him for nearly two years. We chatted online for a couple of months before meeting up. He’s 40 next month (12 years younger than me) and shares a house with his parents and two dogs. He is on medication for depression and has been […]
I made some lovely sausage rolls and chips and I am about to settle down and FINALLY watch the first part of Mockingjay! I’ve been waiting to do this forever it seem now, blimey.
And I’ve got some lovely chocolate biscuits to indulge in after my lovely sausage rolls.
Yes, I know that it is very late over here but I don’t work tomorrow, so a bit of naughty is totally fine.
I know, I know, big fuckin’ surprise coming from me. Not like I’ve posted stuff about a few different girls a few billion times the past year or so. Honestly it’s getting stale isn’t it? ‘Course I spice it up with a bit of shitty writing chucked in there too, but mostly it’s girls, girls, girls. Where’s the depression, the suicide, the goddamn anxiety!? If I felt like being a smartass I’d say it’s all in my head, and that’d be true enough, but on the subject of me being slightly off topic of what this site has set out to do, it’s hidden in […]
If only nature came with a Reset Button or a built in Self Destruct button (we already are self destructing, it just slow going before it “ends”) or both.
I am contemplating that as I climb down into my chilly bed, adorned with fuzzy house socks and my wooley jumper. (it’s brisk here) Wouldn’t it be lovely? (at the aforementioned)
Light will be breaking over the sea here any moment, I am finally off to bed to get a couple of hours shut eye before rising yet again, to a gloomy gray world, filled with morning tea, morning telly (god helps us) and sitting here pondering yet […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind everyone could see–the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. For people like us(“us” here includes me and all my lovely supporting friends at the suicideproject website) our souls contained more scar tissue than life.
Hey loves. So I haven’t been on here in what seems like forever- and I see so many new faces! (Hello new faces:)
I don’t know if I’m coming back or if I’m just popping in- probably just popping in. Before I talk about me, I wanna say that I hope everyone is doing, at the very least, ok. Of course, I hope for adventurous magnificence for all of you, but I know that’s not always reality. Life, emotions, people, combinations of all three- they can constantly stand in your way to happiness. But I’m here to tell you that you deserve to push negative […]
Going to eat some lovely sushi with an old friend of over a decade, who I also work with. Life seems like it could have some possibly good out comes. The loneliness is diminishing, I am growing closer to my friends, and I feel like my life might turn around.
Spent the past 8 years as a hermit, but every year around this time, I have to get involved with all of my old friends. Is it my last moment grasp to hang on to the world that is slowly slipping from my fingers, or am I just in that “mood”. Feel like when I […]
I really ought to be festive this time of year.
But my moods are getting me down. Literally
I’ve made a plan for January. Once Christmas is over. I will try to kill myself again.
I can’t do it before now. Because it’s too close to Christmas. As much as I don’t care I still care about how my family feel. I can’t have the anniversary of my death this close to Christmas every year.
But January would give them time to feel more detatched from it by that time next year.
I think I’ve found a more permanent way of doing it this time.
I just need somewhere to write […]
You know… It’s so tragic it’s almost funny. At times I feel like I have everything figured out, all my I’s dotted, all my T’s crossed. And in the end. I really don’t have shit. I have nothing. Zip, Zero FUCKING ZILCH. When it comes right down to it, I am a goddamn fucking wreck. Emotionally, Mentally, and Physically, all round I am Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. I’m so Fucked that I really don’t even know how fucked I am. I keep thinking, keep telling myself “oh just take one more step, one more breath, have just a tad, a smidge more compassion […]
I am hellish.
It took me a while to finish that sentence. Today, I was exposed to the revelation that I am that friend. That person; I am changing. I found myself today, in one of those common ruts, depressed and anxious to the extent that I could not keep a facade on my face.
These friends of mine are lovely. They do not judge me openly. They listen. The trouble is, you never know what they’re thinking, hearing you speak, watching you move – or not move at all. But today I did something I never have done. I demanded affection.
A friend […]
We always mean to say more when our hands and nails are dug in. Settled on undressed beaches and distant shores sirens scream ever so softly so (before they force contact) with the nerve to say, this might produce the most lovely child.
My mind is distracted and the path doomed from the start.
I never knew you
I’ll never know you
* lame mushy relationship problem* I met a nice guy, genuinely true and honest and down right lovely, described by his friend as the ‘virginest virgin’. we’ve been closeish friends for a year, and a week ago we found out we both liked each other. we are both awkward. its been so awkward. he knows all about me, my depression, suicide attempts, self harm, anxiety attacks, being sexually abused as a toddler and then being used for sex by paedophiles at 13. (now 18, new guy is a few months younger than me) I told him I’m not ready for anything physical and he seems […]
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